Distractions
by RitaRitaMargarita
Summary: Edward's been gone for 5 months. For the sake of friends and family, Bella is surviving. Then, a new boy with secrets of his own comes to town and befriends Bella. Secrets are learned, the Cullens return, and Bella realizes that nothing's ever as it seems
1. Mess

**Hey, everybody! I have been tempted for a while now to try and write a Twilight story but I was way too terrified to touch Stephenie Meyer's work and make a mess out of it. However, this whole thing popped into my mind the other night and I just had to write it out. I wrote out the first five chapters and I love where it's going so I figured I might as well put it out there! This first chapter is mainly catching up with Bella so it's a tad boring but I promise the fun starts soon!! Please keep on reading and let me know what you think.**

* * *

It had been five months since the day Edward had left me alone in the forest. The day he told me he didn't love me and didn't want me. The day my life changed forever.

I shook my head at the desk calendar and opened my math textbook, barely paying attention to my homework assignment. I reflected on the past few months, marveling at how I'd been able to survive this long.

The hole in my chest had certainly not healed, and I doubted it ever would. I knew I would have it forever. No one, no matter how wonderful, would ever be allowed back into my heart again. My Edward- my beautiful angelic, god-like Edward- was the only person I wanted. My Edward, who had grown tired of pretending to be something he wasn't. My Edward, who had made it very clear he no longer wanted me. My Edward, who had left me for good.

_He wasn't _my_ Edward anymore_, I told myself time and time again.

Somehow, I was making it through. I knew that I owed it all to Charlie and Jacob. Jacob was my best friend unconditionally and was far kinder to me than I deserved. I was well aware of his feelings for me, as was Charlie, but I couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than friendly affection for him. Charlie, on the other hand, thought that we were a perfect match and said so on many an occasion. He was constantly inviting Jake over for dinner and dropping embarrassing hints.

Jacob knew that I was in pain and that I had sworn off relationships but that didn't stop him from asking me out from time to time. Sometimes I relented- after reminding him that we could only go on _friendly_ outings. He'd drag me to his house and I'd watch as he worked on cars for hours or he'd take me to see a movie. Sometimes we hung out with the other werewolves, who had accepted me wholeheartedly into their group. If it weren't for these distractions, I probably would have lost my mind completely months ago.

Of course, my life was far from perfect. My heart was permanently broken, I still felt lonely, and my life was in danger. The wolves were keeping tabs on the infamous Victoria, who had been dancing in and out of their sight since a month after the Cullen family left. Clearly, it was me she was after and I knew she wouldn't stop until the wolves caught her or I was dead. The fear was always present, creeping into my mind when I least wanted it to- usually when I got into bed at night. One or two of the boys would stand guard outside my house during the night, thankfully, to make sure Victoria couldn't get to me.

I shivered thinking of Victoria. I tried to focus on my homework to drive the unpleasant thoughts away but it was next to impossible.

"Bella?" Charlie called from downstairs.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I'm going to play cards with Joe. Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes, Dad," I responded flatly.

"Are you sure, kid? I could hang around here and we could…"

"It's fine, Dad," I shouted out. "I'll be fine."

He muttered something and a few moments later I heard the door close downstairs and his patrol car start up. I was happy he was going out for a bit. He'd been sticking around the house far too much to make sure I was okay. With Jacob around more often, he'd relaxed a bit. I was definitely a more… stable person these days. But I still wasn't happy and he knew it.

We never brought him up. It was sort of an unspoken rule. Jacob knew not to bring him up, too- a thing I was eternally grateful for.

I thought of Jacob again and wondered why I couldn't just like him that way. It would make sense, I knew, but I just couldn't. He was a good kid but he was constantly trying to get me to feel something I knew I never could. He was practically a brother to me, a best friend. Though I had made it clear, numerous times, that I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with him, he still persisted. Time and time again he made jokes, gave me significant looks, and even tried to sneak a kiss in here and there. It was frustrating and the entire situation had become just another worry in my life full of anxieties. Plus, there was the whole issue of him being a werewolf. I wasn't opposed to werewolves or anything, but I was done with mythological creatures. I had sworn off _men_ altogether; werewolves and vampires, then, were clearly forbidden.

Closing my math text book, I shook my head. How did I ever get in this mess?


	2. Interesting Stranger

It was Tuesday morning. I hated Tuesdays. At least on Monday, I was still in the weekend mentality. By Tuesday, everything always went downhill.

My morning classes flew by in a blur. I dodged Mike a few times, knowing that a whole bunch of my friends were going to the movies tonight and that he was likely going to invite me.

He had asked me out a couple of times since I had returned to a semi-normal human state, but of course I always turned him down. My rejection never seemed to faze him, though. Towards the end of every week, he always asked me if I was interested in grabbing dinner and a movie. In a way, I was grateful for his kindness and his friendship. He was one of the only friends in my group who had accepted me back with open arms.

By lunch, I was exhausted. I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, since all I dreamt about these days were nightmares involving Victoria and the various ways she could kill me and my loved ones. I yawned and thought that napping on the cafeteria table seemed like a pretty good idea.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Angela asked me as she sat down across from me.

"I'm not hungry," I responded. I folded my arms on the table and rested my chin on top. "Maybe I'll get something later."

She shrugged and bit into her slice of pizza. "Are you coming to the movies tonight?"

"I don't think so."

Her eyes met mine and narrowed. "Bella. You really should come. It would be good for you."

Since Angela and I had gotten closer, she had grown more comfortable in my presence. The meek, quiet Angela was still there, but she wasn't so careful around me anymore. She had become a really good friend and she was constantly trying to get me out of the house.

I thought of her kindness to me the past few months and stifled my annoyance. "Maybe."

She shook her head and took another bite. "We're meeting up at 6. Please think about it, at least."

I reached over and stole her apple. With a grin, I bit into it and winked. "Will do."

Giggling, she shook her head at me. Then her expression sobered somewhat and she watched me in silence for a few moments.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious. Did I have apple skin in my teeth or something? That would be fitting.

She surprised me by suddenly reaching over and rubbing my arm. "It's good to have you back, Bella."

* * *

After lunch, I made my way to English class. I groaned as I walked in, realizing that there was no way to avoid Mike now. We sat next to one another every day and he was, of course, already waiting for me.

"Hey, Bella," he exclaimed, putting out his hand for a high-five.

I awkwardly put my hand out and then sat ungracefully in the desk next to his.

"You heard about the movies tonight, right? Please tell me you're coming."

I looked at him and sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I… I have a lot of homework."

"Bella, that's a load of bull and you know it. Come. It'll be good for you."

I just shook my head and focused my gaze on the desk. I ran my fingers over some carved initials and tried to ignore Mike's burning glare.

"God!" he shouted out suddenly, making me jump and squeal. A girl a few desks in front of me turned around and snickered. "Are you going to let Cullen screw up your life forever? He's gone, Bella. Gone _forever_. He left you here, broken, and you're still letting him ruin your life. _He_ moved on Bella- so should you."

I felt the blood drain from my face and the hole that always threatened to suck me in began throbbing. Breathing became impossible and I wondered randomly if I'd suffocate to death. I literally felt as though Mike had slapped me. Why was he saying those horrible things to me? He knew that _he_ was a forbidden topic. I knew all too well how he'd been able to move on; I didn't need to be reminded of it.

His eyes suddenly became repentant and he reached out his hand tentatively to touch my arm. "I'm sorry, Bella. That was wrong. It's just so… upsetting to see you like this. You've been better lately but you're still… You're a beautiful, great girl and you're throwing your life away."

I could see his point and I knew everyone else pretty much agreed with him. But what point was there to living fully and going out to the movies and going on dates when _he_ was no longer with me? To me, there was no point. I was fully prepared to go through the motions for the rest of my life and hang out with the few friends I had, and that I knew full well I didn't deserve, and share a laugh every now and then. That's all I expected from life now. That's all I wanted.

My vision blurred with unshed tears. I stood up slowly and begged myself not to cry yet. I didn't want to lose it in class.

"I'll be right back," I whispered.

"Bella…" Mike started but I ran out before he could say anything else.

I felt like I was going to throw up as I burst into the girl's bathroom, startling a girl who was just washing her hands.

* * *

Five minutes later, I was still sitting in the girl's bathroom. I swiped the last few tears off my cheeks and stood reluctantly. The extra-cold air conditioning felt nice and refreshing on my sticky skin. I really didn't want to go back to class and started mentally beating myself up for not ditching when I had the chance. Now I had to go back- I left my backpack in there and everything.

Walking slowly and deliberately, I made my way back down the hall. I opened the door hesitantly, knowing Mr. Russo was going to start screaming at me for missing the first few minutes of class. To my surprise, he wasn't there yet.

Mike was staring at me in an expression full of pity. I hated it when people looked at me like that. People weren't doing it so much anymore, thank God, but every once and again I'd catch it on someone's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked me as I plopped down next to him. His voice and face were filled with such concern that the animosity I had been feeling towards him faded. It always did eventually; he was one of those people that were too nice for you to stay mad at.

I just nodded and took out my notebook.

"Mr. Russo came in for a minute before but he left some papers in his office or something. You're lucky."

Nodding again, I fixed my gaze out the windows to my left. I saw Lauren sitting on one of the benches next to Tommy Daly, one of the more popular guys in our grade. He looked utterly uninterested and I smiled wickedly.

"There's a new guy, by the way," Mike whispered in my ear. He was way too close. "His name is Shane or Sean or something."

"Really?" My voice was flat; I hoped he'd get the message that I could care less. I tried to shift away from him but couldn't get too far in my desk.

"Yeah," he responded back enthusiastically, not catching on. "He moved here from New York with his dad. He looks pretty weird to me."

I looked back at him and then around the classroom, trying to find the new face. Finally, I spotted him. He was sitting in the back row and to the right of the classroom. He had headphones on, blasting music so loudly I wondered how I hadn't noticed him before. His head was bowed over, so I couldn't get a good look at him, but I could tell he had floppy brown hair. He seemed tall and he was dressed all in black.

_Great_, I thought_, just what this school needs- another goth._

Mr. Russo walked in then, looking less than happy. "It seems the pop quizzes I was planning on giving you today have mysteriously vanished." He stared pointedly at Ted Gallagher, the notorious bad body of school. Ted just shrugged and grinned at one of his friends. It was obvious, even to me, that he had stolen them. "Since the photo copy machine isn't working, you guys are off the hook. For today." He made his way stiffly over to his desk and then looked over towards the new boy. He raised his hand and beckoned to him with his index finger. "I'd like you to come up and introduce yourself to the class, please."

I heard a loud, dramatic sigh and watched with interest as the new kid walked slowly to the front of the room. He was a lot taller than I'd imagined. He spun on his heel and faced the class, his headphones still on his ears. He raised his eyebrows at us, almost defiantly, and then grinned.

"My name is Shane Walsh. I'm from New York City. I hate it here. That's all."

A few girls in the front giggled and he rolled his eyes. He looked at Mr. Russo and asked him if he could return to his desk. Mr. Russo only nodded. I felt for the guy; he had unknowingly crossed the line in Mr. Russo's book and now would undoubtedly end up on the unfavorable list.

Class began but I had a hard time concentrating. Shane was extremely interesting and familiar to me in a way. He looked like he didn't want to be bothered and I knew immediately we had a lot in common. I figured that it might do me some good to befriend him; I could finally hang out with someone who wouldn't pressure me to move on and go out to the movies. He would wallow with me instead.

* * *

The next day was more of the same. I was so ready for the weekend, even though Angela was dragging me shopping with her. Ben was taking her out to a fancy restaurant for their anniversary and she wanted to get a new dress. She wanted someone to go with her and give her some good advice and she picked me, mostly because she was the closest to me and because Jessica was no help whatsoever.

I groaned as I finally entered the cafeteria. Lunch was my least favorite time of the day. Maybe it was because a lot of my memories, especially of the early days, revolving around _him_ happened in the cafeteria. Or maybe it was because of the people I sat with. They weren't the most pleasant of people, Angela excluded.

The lunch line was excruciatingly long but I ended up getting my lunch a lot faster than I'd expected. Angela was a few people behind so I waited until she caught up and then we walked over together. Jessica and Lauren were having a bit of a fight on one side of the table so Angela wordlessly led us to the other side.

I gasped when I saw who was sitting there.

Shane Walsh was sitting in between Mike and Ben, smiling to himself. He still wore black, though the clothes were slightly more fashionable than the day before. The headphones were still perched defiantly on his head and he had a notebook of drawings open in front of him.

"Hey," Mike said warmly as we sat across from him. Angela said hey back; I just smiled. "Bella, Angela- this is Shane. Bella, he's in our English class, remember?"

"Yeah," I said, trying my best not to roll my eyes. "It's nice to meet you," I said to Shane.

His eyes met mine and I was momentarily stunned. He was gorgeous. With the exception of one other person, he had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. They weren't technically blue, they weren't technically grey, and they weren't all green. They almost seemed to be clear to me and yet also every color combined. His features were perfect, of course, and if it weren't for the flush in his face I'd wonder if he was a vampire. He blinked a couple of times, probably wondering why the heck I was staring at him so intently. I blushed and looked down at my macaroni and cheese.

"You're the Chief's daughter, right?"

I looked up, surprised. He was smirking at me. "Yeah," I said slowly, "how did you know?"

"My dad met yours when we first moved in. He mentioned you when I said I was coming here."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

He turned his attention back on the notebook in front of him and I heard his music get louder.

Angela looked at me and I could tell already what she was thinking.

He was a strange kid.


	3. Another Chance

Mike walked me to English and blabbered the whole way about some girl he'd met the weekend before.

I was actually relieved by the time we walked into class. I hurried to my desk without even paying attention. When I looked up, I froze.

Shane Walsh was sitting next to my desk in Mike's seat. His ever present headphones were on, of course, and he had the same old tattered notebook on his desk. He made no acknowledgement of my presence but the slight smile on his lips told me he was more than aware I was standing in front of him.

Mike stood next to me and openly gaped at Shane.

Finally, deciding he could ignore us no more, Shane looked up. He contemplated us a moment before smiling. "Hey, guys." I realized for the first time that his voice was very deep and harsh. It was the complete opposite of… someone else's voice.

I grimaced involuntarily at the thought and he caught it. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head to clear out my depressing thoughts and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a really bad headache.

"Oh." He nodded and continued to stare at me and I could tell from his eyes that he didn't believe me.

Mike looked back and forth at us and scowled. "I guess I'll sit in front of you today, Bella."

I fought back a smile. Mike was clearly annoyed but still was stubborn enough not to say anything.

Awkwardly I lowered myself into the desk and avoided looking over at Shane. I could feel his eyes on me and I was afraid of him, as silly as that sounded. I dated a vampire and my best friend was a werewolf. An all human punk teenager was a piece of cake compared to the people I normally hung around with.

"You seem like you're really unhappy about something," he said softly. I met his gaze and opened my mouth in shock. Was it really that visible? I had tried to hide it as best as I could and I had been getting a better handle on my life lately. I clearly wasn't doing that fabulous a job of it, however, if a complete stranger could pick up on it in a matter of minutes. "What _happened_ to you?"

I opened my mouth to speak but no words could come out. What could I say? He clearly could tell I was lying; who couldn't? I decided to shrug. Maybe he'd get the hint I wasn't too eager to talk about it.

He watched me curiously for a few moments before Mr. Russo walked in, barking out complaints. We never got a chance to talk again and I was happy for it.

He saw right through me. It wouldn't be so easy to pretend anymore.

* * *

The day was over and for once I was glad. Every since my little incident, as I sometimes referred to it, I had thrown myself into schoolwork, happy for the distraction. As I got closer to Jacob, I relaxed a little with my work but I was still always grateful for school during the day. I started dreading coming home and having all that free time to think. Plus, Charlie had become more attentive during my desolate months, making it absolutely necessary for me to put on my "I'm really fine" show. It got tiresome.

Today, however, had been long and I was exhausted. I was planning on napping a bit when I got home and putting off my homework till later. Wanting to sleep was actually surprising me, too; I hadn't slept well since my little incident, either. My dreams almost always involved you-know-who and it was too painful to bear. In a sick way, I kind of enjoyed them, too. It was all I had left of him, after all. When I wasn't dreaming of him, I had nightmares of the various ways Victoria could hunt down and murder me. Obviously, sleeping had become one of my least favorite hobbies.

I put my keys into my car door lock and threw my book bag into the backseat.

"Bella?"

I looked up and nearly gasped when I saw Shane standing a few feet away.

"Do you think you could give me a ride home? My dad can't pick me up and it's starting to rain…"

He smiled winningly at me.

"Hop in."

He jumped in eagerly and thanked me. "My dad is such a flake."

I didn't know whether I should laugh or not so I stayed silent as I made my way out of the parking lot.

"I live on Franklin Street. Number fifteen."

"That's a block away from my street," I laughed.

He didn't say anything. The silence bothered me and for a moment I nearly turned on the radio before I remembered. I don't listen to music anymore.

I heard the shuffling of pages and looked over. He had the notebook out and appeared to be writing something in it.

"What is that?" I asked. "I don't mean to be nosy or anything. You don't have to answer. I'm just curious."

He looked at me and smiled. "It's a sketchpad."

"Oh," I said, finally getting it, "you draw!"

"Yep. Not very well but I love it."

"I can't draw anything except trees, and even those suck. They look like people. Ugly, deformed people."

He laughed and put the notebook away. "I bet you're not that bad. Everyone can draw… a little."

"But me," I sighed. I looked over and saw he was about to protest so I added, "Trust me."

A few moments of comfortable silence passed before he asked me a question that immediately made me stiffen. "How come you don't listen to any music?"

I shrugged and hoped he'd let it go.

"I don't mean to pry, it's just strange. Usually people are playing _something_ in the background."

"I'm not a music person," I said simply.

"So I see," he chuckled, gesturing to the gaping hole where the cursed stereo once was. "It seems you downright loathe it. You didn't have to take it out on your poor radio, though."

I put on my blinker and turned onto Hillside Street. We were just a block away and I was relieved. Shane was asking me some uncomfortable questions and he was far more perceptive than I liked.

_Was this how Edward felt when we started talking?_ I thought.

When I realized what I'd thought, I nearly slapped myself. Thinking of him was forbidden, too. What was wrong with me? I was falling apart all over again.

I turned on Franklin Street and continued driving in a daze.

"You just ride on it for a bit. I'm all the way at the end."

I nodded but kept silent. I was afraid I'd start sobbing if I spoke. Maybe befriending him wasn't such a good idea; he didn't know about what happened so he didn't know what topics were off-limits.

"Not a big talker, either, huh?"

I looked over at him and was surprised to see him grinning at me. "Not really," I admitted.

"Good," he said. "We'll get along famously. Next house on the left."

I turned onto the driveway of a very large, fancy-looking house. I couldn't help but stare at it. Mr. Walsh was obviously loaded. A nice car sat in the driveway. I couldn't tell a car from a horse but I knew it was expensive and that any other normal person would be flipping out over it.

"Home sweet home," he sighed. He looked over at me and smiled again. This kid liked to smile, apparently. Maybe he wasn't so "goth" after all. "Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it."

"No problem."

He started to get out but turned around to face me again. He surprised me by just silently staring at me. Finally, he said, "Give music another chance, okay? It's really unforgivable for someone to drive in silence."

I just stared at him. He laughed and got out. He jogged up at the front steps, turned back to wave, and disappeared into the house.


	4. Intuition

**So Jacob only has a little appearance in this chapter... He'll be back soon enough (ugh). **

**Shane seems a little boring right now, I know- I feel like we don't know much about him at all except that he draws and likes music- but keep in mind that that's the point right now.**

**I don't know about you but I _can't wait_ for my darling Edward to come back... ** **Can he stop his sulking and make his entrance into my story, please? I miss him.**

* * *

I thought about Shane all the way home. There was something about him that intrigued me and yet frightened me at the same time. He didn't appear to be anything more or less than an average teenaged boy but… I couldn't help but think there was more to him than that. There was a sense of danger in his presence and yet he appeared to be extremely kind and charming. I knew all too well that danger mixed in with beauty and kindness usually ended up in heartache. My heartache.

I pulled into my driveway and saw Jake parked in Charlie's spot. He got out when he saw me pulling in and waved. I was actually relieved to see him.

"Hey, Bella," Jake said as I walked over. He picked me up and crushed me in a tight hug. "I was going to town for some tools. Want to come with me?"

I lived for distractions like these so I said yes and got into the Rabbit with him. We drove for a bit before he turned to me.

"What are you doing Friday night?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I don't have any plans."

Grinning, he nudged me playfully. "Awesome. You're coming to a party with me."

"I am?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. Jacob knew I hated parties.

"Don't worry," he said quickly, "it's just me and the pack. No big deal. And honestly, it would be a lot better if you were there. I don't like the idea of leaving you unguarded."

I swallowed, thinking of the vampire with flame-colored hair who was probably thinking up a new way of killing me at that very moment.

Taking a breath, I decided to repress the unhappy thoughts.

"I'll come. How can I resist a werewolf party?" I teased.

He grinned at me and rumpled my hair. "Thanks. It's going to be so much fun."

I forced a smile and decided I couldn't take it anymore. I hated bringing up unpleasant things so soon but I couldn't resist. "Any news on Victoria?"

His face darkened. He kept his eyes focused on the road and his hands visibly tightened. Still, when he spoke his voice was fairly normal.

"Somewhat. Paul saw her a couple of days ago and chased her out but you know as well as I do it's only a matter of time until she comes back."

I nodded and looked out the window. My stomach felt sick and beads of sweat started to form on my forehead. I wasn't ready to die but it seemed a near probability that my "luck" was eventually going to run out. I was marked for danger, as I was often told.

"Bella," Jacob said softly. "Look at me."

When I wouldn't look at him, he pulled over. He reached out and placed his hand on my chin, turning my face to look at him. Slowly my eyes met his. He looked extremely worried.

"Bella, please don't worry about it. We're going to take care of you, I promise. We won't let anything happen to you. _I_ won't let anything happen to you."

I nodded and fought back the childish tears that threatened to spill over any moment.

"If anything happened to you," he whispered huskily, "I don't know what I'd do."

His expression made me uncomfortable. A jolt of pain ran through my heart, remembering the last time I'd seen an expression like that.

I lowered my eyes and tried to move away.

"Relax, Bella," he muttered, dropping his hand from my face. His eyes narrowed and he seemed slightly insulted. "Ijust want to take care of you. Unlike _some_ people."

My eyes snapped back up again. Regret and shock began to cross his features. "Bella, I-"

"Forget it, Jake," I snapped.

"But I didn't meant to bring it up, I just-"

"Stop it!" I cried out, slamming my fist on the dashboard. I gasped in shock and I thought I heard Jacob gasp, too. I never got this angry. My hand hurt horribly but I ignored it and turned to Jacob. "Take me home."

He looked like he was going to cry. His face nearly weakened my resolve but I looked away. "Now," I growled.

Silently, he turned around and took me back.

As soon as his car was parked in my driveway, I lunged out and ran into the house without saying a word to Charlie. Tears were falling freely down my cheeks and I heard myself desperately gasping for air.

I flung myself onto my bed, sobbing hysterically. I didn't think I had any tears left, but I did. I always did.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I shuddered. Jacob was right about one thing. Edward certainly hadn't wanted to take care of me. I was a pet, a toy, a… distraction- at best, a friend. A friend he used and then discarded without a second thought.

Stifling a scream, I slapped my pillow and then flung it across the room_. _

_I hated him! _

I stopped crying and just sat there, trying to catch my breath. As I relaxed, I realized I didn't hate him at all. Not even a little bit.

I hated _myself_ for _not_ hating him. I hated myself for still loving him. I hated myself because I knew I always would.

* * *

I woke up in a terrible mood the next day. The sky was more overcast than usual; I felt the weather was perfect for me.

I dressed in a black shirt and jeans and got in my truck just before it started pouring.

Of course the day was going by at the slowest pace possible. I was happy when lunch came around, meaning I only had two periods left. Naturally, I had a meeting with my guidance counselor right before lunch that ran over schedule.

Walking into lunch ten minutes late, I picked up some pizza and went to meet Angela at our side of the table.

I stopped short when I saw Shane sitting there again. I had completely forgotten about him. He was dressed in black again, of course, but his headphones were nowhere to be seen. He was fixated on his notebook, however, and appeared to be drawing in it. Mike was babbling on to him but he didn't appear to be listening.

"Hi," I said, putting my tray down and sitting next to Angela. I kept my eyes on my pizza.

"Hi, Bella," Ben said.

"Hey!" Angela exclaimed. "I was wondering where you were."

"Ms. Simon wouldn't stop talking, per usual," I groaned.

Angela laughed. "Thank God she's not my guidance counselor."

"Hello."

I looked up and saw Shane staring at me. My pulse quickened at an irregular pace and a blush warmed my cheeks, surprising me. I didn't blush that much anymore.

"Hi," I whispered, grasping onto my pizza for dear life. Maybe if I started eating it, he'd stop talking to me.

"Thanks for the ride again. My dad promised to pick me up today. We'll see." He laughed to himself and shook his head. He didn't appear to have that high an opinion of his father.

I couldn't speak. Angela looked at me curiously and I knew already what she was thinking. I hadn't told anyone that I drove him home yesterday. In my defense, I had come home in such a bad mood the night before that I just did my homework and went to bed.

Mike was staring at me; I could feel it. I didn't look at him but I knew he was resentful.

"No problem," I said finally, hating the awkward silence.

Shane looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for me to say something else. I stared back at him stupidly, unable to break from his gaze though I desperately wanted to. I searched my mind for anything to say, anything that could possibly stop the uncomfortable situation.

Surprisingly, it was Lauren who came to my rescue.

"Hey," she giggled, slipping in next to him on the bench, "my name's Lauren. You're Shane, right?"

"Right," he mumbled, still looking at me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and focused on my pizza again.

"It's nice to meet you," she went on. "I've heard a lot about you. Your dad is some famous author, right?"

"Right," he repeated.

"That's so cool!" Lauren gushed. "I'm having a party this Saturday. I'd love it if you could come! I'll introduce you to everybody."

There were a few moments of silence until he spoke. "Thanks for the invitation but I can't come this Saturday."

"Oh," she said, deflated. She was silent for a minute before her eyes sparkled with a new idea. "Well, maybe I can have a party for you next weekend!"

"To tell you the truth," he chuckled, "I'm not much of a party person at all. Thanks anyway."

She didn't say anything and I couldn't bring myself to look at her but I didn't have to. I knew she must have been fuming.

Without another word, she stood up and went back to Jessica. I heard her say something to her and the two started giggling loudly.

"Oops," he said. I looked up and saw him looking at me in amusement. "Did I just insult the prom queen?"

"More or less," I responded, smiling in spite of myself.

Angela nodded her head and looked at him. "Nice work."

"You're my hero," Ben whispered.

Shane started laughing and soon we joined him. He had an infectious laugh.

"What kind of stuff does your dad write?" I asked, feeling that due to his put-down of Lauren, he deserved a little attention.

"Horror."

"What kind of horror?" Mike questioned. I couldn't help but notice that his voice sounded slightly mocking.

"All kinds," Shane answered, unfazed. "His last book was about vampires. It was pretty good, I have to admit."

My breath caught but luckily no one heard it. Even if they had, I wouldn't have cared. I hadn't heard that word in months. Disjointed memories flooded back into my mind before I could stop them.

_His cold, smooth touch…_

_The swelling and throbbing of my heart every time he looked at me…_

_How it felt to love him and how it felt to think he loved me back…_

_His topaz eyes glittering in the darkness of my room…_

_Our meadow…_

_All of the loving words he had whispered in my ear as I drifted off to sleep every night…_

_The kisses I always got carried away with…_

_Alice, my best friend… _

_The rest of the Cullens, sitting around in their beautiful home…_

_His face when I was in the hospital after the James incident…_

_My birthday party…_

_His brooding, withdrawn behavior those days after…_

_His goodbye…_

_The emptiness…_

_How I turned into a shell..._

"Bella?" a loud voice rasped out.

I looked up and saw Shane looking at me, looking slightly concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, Bella, you look kind of pale," Angela said. "Are you feeling alright?"

I shrugged and tried by best to act normal. "I feel fine."

I don't think I sounded very convincing because Shane didn't look away. I was always told how bad a liar I was. I don't even know why I still bothered.

He looked like he was going to say something else so I tried to distract him. "Where are your headphones?"

He grinned at me. "I didn't charge my I-pod last night. I'm an idiot. I've been suffering all day- I had to actually listen to people."

I smiled, though it probably came out like a grimace. "At least you remembered your notebook."

"Yeah," he nodded, "if I forgot that, I'd just turn back and go home. I can't live without it."

"Can I see some of your work?" I asked, looking at his book. I was desperate to keep my mind off the pain that threatened to erupt at any second.

"No," he said harshly. I cringed back and felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Normally I'd say yes but I'm…. Right now I'm working on something and it's a bit of a surprise and… I don't like to show unfinished things. I'm sorry. I should be done with it tonight so I could show it to you tomorrow, if you're still interested." He smiled apologetically at me.

"It's no big deal," I answered quietly.

"No, really. I'd love for you to see them."

Angela cleared her throat and I blushed yet again, realizing I'd forgotten the there were other people around us. They had been talking amongst themselves but I guess eventually they started paying attention to us. I was grateful that my little conversation with him had distracted me from having a completely psychotic breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria, but I was still embarrassed.

I took another big bite of my pizza. I could hear him laughing a little under his breath and for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, I blushed.

Throwing me a sympathetic glance, Angela tried to make things comfortable again. "What kind of stuff do you draw?"

He looked at me when he said, "All kinds of things."

He continued to watch me appraisingly. I started fidgeting and took a big bite out of my pizza.

"I wish I could draw," Angela mused.

Shane looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

It was Angela's turn to blush. There was something about his eyes. It was like he was looking right through you. His gaze was highly personal. If Edward were around, I'd think even he'd blush in Shane's presence.

I suddenly felt sick. Just when I was slipping into the abyss of distractions, I had to go and stupidly remind myself of _him_. I wanted to die right there.

Angela saw my face and I knew that she understood it was something Edward related. She always knew.

"Yes," she said to Shane. She was trying to keep everyone's attention off of me. "I used to take drawing lessons but I grew out of them. Now I just doodle."

I didn't look up to see if he was watching me but he didn't answer right away.

"I could show you a thing or two," he said finally. "I should warn you, though. I'm no expert."

"I didn't know you used to draw," Ben said to Angela defensively.

"It was a long time ago," she whispered to him.

"Would you like some drawing lessons, Bella?" Shane asked me, a note of humor in his voice.

"No," I whispered. I kept my eyes on the lunch table. I knew if I met those eyes, I'd start blubbering.

He should be a therapist. Or a detective. With eyes like his, he could get anyone to break down and confess without a single word.

Thankfully the lunch bell rang and I hopped up quickly to get away.

"Bella, wait up!"

I turned around reluctantly and saw Shane running after me, a perfect smile on his face.

"Why don't we walk to English together?"

I suppressed a groan and started walking again.

Why couldn't I ever be left alone?

* * *

I sat in my seat rigidly, keeping my eyes on the front of the room.

I prayed as hard as I could that Mr. Russo would walk in before Shane had a chance to start talking to me, but I knew it was no use. Mr. Russo was always incredibly late and I had no luck to speak of, so it was only a matter of time before the boy next to me turned to speak.

Sure enough, a second later he turned to me. "Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the door.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

Slowly, my head turned to face him. His eyes were intense; I gazed into the two glowing, multicolored pools and temporarily forgot who I was.

"Bella?"

I blinked and swallowed hard. I was definitely going crazy.

"What did you say?"

He smirked and shook his head. "I wanted to ask you a personal question."

"Okay," I said warily.

"Why did you get so upset at lunch today?"

_Crap_. So I was still unsuccessful at lying. Luckily, Angela was too nice to bring things like this up, though I suspected she knew when I was lying about being fine, too.

I decided to give it another try. "What do you mean? I wasn't upset."

He looked at me reproachfully. "I barely know you and I can still tell when you're lying."

I glared at him. I tried to tell myself that he didn't know what happened to me and that talking about any of it was strictly off limits, but now I thought he was just being rude.

"Look," he said, leaning towards me, "like I said, I know it's a personal question. I guess I was just curious. You looked like hell back there."

"Oh, thank you," I said sarcastically.

We sat there in silence- me staring at the door willing Mr. Russo to appear, Shane still watching me.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" I hissed, meeting his stare.

"Sorry, you're just very interesting," he responded calmly. He didn't look the least bit sorry. "I want to know more about you. You can start by telling me what happened during lunch."

His eyes bore into mine so intensely that I couldn't think of anything to say. His eyes pierced mine and the colors seemed to swirl around. I forgot what I was so mad about.

My mouth opened and I could literally feel all the words on my tongue. I was going to tell him about everything.

Just then, Mr. Russo came into the room, grumbling about car troubles. I happily tore my eyes from Shane's and attempted to focus my attention on our teacher.

_What had just happened?!_ A panicked feeling flared in my stomach and I felt like I was choking for air. Shane Walsh had nearly made me tell him about the things I vowed never to speak of again.

_What was wrong with me?!_

More importantly, what was wrong with him? Why did he care? And what the _heck_ had he tried to pull? Was it just his hypnotizing eyes? Or were more evil forces at work?

I decided I didn't care. I would just keep my distance from him. There was something very, _very_ off about him and I had had it with danger.

But despite my constant attempts to drive Shane from my mind, I found that he and his intentions were all I could think about. I tried to figure out why he almost seemed to follow me around, if not with his body, then with his eyes. I was all too aware of how disinteresting and plain I was. It seemed unlikely that my nonexistent beauty had him captivated. It was surely something else. Knowing that it involved me, it was definitely something more sinister.

Then a thought came to my mind and I couldn't force it away. Shane Walsh knew something about me. Or he wanted to find something out about me for some unknown reason. It seemed all too convenient that he'd just happened to sit at my lunch-table and that he'd just happened by my car, asking for a ride. A normal person wouldn't become suddenly and inexplicably fascinated with someone else before they barely got a chance to know them.

Part of me told myself I was being paranoid. Another part of me was hopping up and down, flailing her arms and screaming at me to run. Whatever he knew or wanted to know, it couldn't be good. Experience told me so.

I glanced at him and saw that he was still gazing at me with a peculiar expression on his face. I sucked in some air and flicked my eyes away. For the first time in a long time, I felt afraid. All of those months after they left me I had been numb and cut off. Nothing scared me, not even death, because I already had the worst thing in the world happen to me.

But now, for almost no reason at all, I was petrified. And, because some sparks of intuition had gone off within, I was suspicious. There was also the little tiny fact that I was burning with curiosity. I knew with every fiber in my being something big and something bad was coming my way. And I also knew Shane Walsh had something to do with it.

I decided then that I was going to get to the bottom of this. I was going to figure out as much as I could about Shane, and fast.

I wanted to know why he was so perceptive. I wanted to know what he was doing here in Forks. I wanted to know why he acted so bizarrely. I wanted to know why he thought _I_ was so interesting. And most importantly, I wanted to know what he wanted from me.


	5. Honesty

I wasn't surprised to see Shane waiting by my car when school let out. I was sure, even as I flew from English class earlier, that he'd still be there.

"Bella," he said as I got closer, "I'm sorry if I pissed you off before. I was wrong to try and force you to tell me."

"It's okay," I said flatly.

He visibly relaxed and smiled slightly at me.

"Do you need a ride?" I asked, suppressing a smile when a look of sheer shock came on his face.

"Uh… that would be great… My dad's not coming." He smiled sheepishly at me. "Thank you."

"No problem," I said nonchalantly. "Get in."

I decided to wait a few moments before asking my round of questions. Of course, Shane surprised me and completely distracted me before I had a chance.

"Do you want to come over for a bit?"

I swerved a little and earned a honk from the car driving in the other direction.

Reflexively, I was prepared to say no. But then I remembered I had to figure Shane out immediately to determine whether or not he was a risk.

"Sure," I mumbled.

"Great!" He grinned at me and then focused his eyes onto my dashboard. "Are you ever going to get a radio?"

"No," I responded, trying desperately not to lose my cool.

"I think you're the only teenager in the world who doesn't blast music in the car."

I didn't answer.

"Do you really not like music?" he asked in disbelief, continuing on despite my silence. "At first I thought you were just playing around but now-"

"Yes," I cut him off, "I really don't like music. As a matter of fact, I hate music. The only thing I hate more than music is talking about music."

That shut him up.

Thankfully, I turned onto his driveway a few minutes later.

"Come on," he said with a smile. He gently tugged on my sleeve and nodded to his house. "Let's go."

I followed after him slowly. By the time I reached the front door, he was already holding it open with an amused grin on his face.

"You're really slow, aren't you?"

I ignored him and made my way into his house. Taking it in, I audibly gasped and stopped short.

It was beautiful.

It looked huge on the outside but inside, it looked like a castle. The room we were standing in was gigantic with an incredibly high glass ceiling. A long staircase stood a few feet away. To the right was a beautiful sitting room with rose-colored walls and romantic lighting. To the left was an airy, comfortable-looking living room with large windows. White, lacy curtains flew to the floor and the furniture was bright blue. I noticed a fireplace and a big screen TV inside. Two long hallways ran on either side of the staircase, but they were too dark for me to see anything of importance inside or beyond them.

I shuddered. Due to past experiences, I really wasn't too fond of big houses.

When I finally got used to it all, I looked over at a smirking Shane.

"What?" I demanded.

He shrugged, still smiling. "You're awestruck. It's cute."

I resisted the urge to smack him. "I'm not awestruck."

He lifted an eyebrow.

"I'll admit that you're house is beautiful. And it's a lot bigger than I thought." I looked around again, taking it all in once more.

"Yeah," he whispered in my ear, "not everything is as it seems. Don't you know that?"

I jumped slightly. I hadn't known he was so close to me. The closeness made me uncomfortable. I walked away and into the blue room.

He followed me in and told me to sit down.

I lowered myself clumsily into a comfy looking chair. He sat on the sofa across from it, still smiling at me.

"You're house really is beautiful," I told him.

"Thank you."

We sat in silence for a few moments. I stared up at the glass ceiling that stretched into this room as well. The day had considerably brightened and now the sky was a beautiful blue.

"This room and the other by the front door are the only two with glass ceilings," he explained.

I looked back at him and smiled. "I bet they're nice at night."

Shane just nodded and stared at me, all traces of amusement gone from his face. I swallowed back the fear and decided to ask him what I'd planned to.

Of course, he sidetracked me.

"Can I show you something?"

I blinked at him.

"It's just upstairs," he added, smiling again.

"Okay." I followed him warily up the stairs, which I tripped on only once.

The upstairs was, of course, very beautiful. It was pretty much just a long hallway with gorgeous gold wallpaper, and yet it was still stunning. All of the doors to the rooms were closed so I couldn't see anything else.

He led me down and opened the very last door on the right.

"You better brace yourself," he warned me, his face somber and foreboding.

I shivered, regretting my decision to come upstairs.

Before I could say or do anything, he swung the door open.

At first I couldn't see anything. There were no windows and the room was dimly lit by only one small lap, sitting on a desk in the corner. I could make out a sheet-less mattress lying on the floor and various articles of clothing strewn lazily around. As my eyes adjusted, I could also see a very large technology-related object sitting on the opposite side of the room.

"Come on," Shane said, taking my hand and leading me in.

To my surprise, he brought me to the immediate right just inside of the room and I saw there was another door. He opened it swiftly, reached in his arm, and turned on the light.

A large glass room appeared with posters of different bands decorating the walls. The bright light also lit up the room we were still partially standing in and I could see more than before. It was obviously his bedroom and there were more posters on the walls.

"This is my room," he said waving his hand to the mess beside us, "and this is my mini recording studio."

I looked at the room he indicated and noticed a big microphone. The thing I thought looked like it was related to technology now glowed in the light with multicolored buttons all over it.

"You sing?" I finally managed. We were still standing between the two rooms.

Shrugging, he walked into the glass room. "A little. Music is my life."

I just nodded. He reached over to a little table that sat on the side and shuffled some things around on top of it.

"Don't be mad," he said, "but I took the liberty of making you a little present."

"Thanks, but I don't like presents," I whispered.

My heart was pounding. What was going on? Why was I here? What had been my plan? I couldn't remember any more. I was only aware of this strange, beautiful boy in front of me in the warm and fuzzy room.

He handed me a CD and stared at me intently. "You do now."

His eyes glowed and swirled like they had in English. Again, I felt soft and open somehow. I didn't know what was going on but it felt good. I saw him smiling and I was actually happy that for some odd reason, I had made him smile.

"Okay," I said weakly. I let out a deep breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

He looked away from me then and turned off the light, walking back into his dark and messy bedroom.

"You want to watch some TV or something?" he asked casually, stretching his arms above his head.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times and leaned against the wall.

It had happened again! I had, of course, stumbled on yet another person in life who could dazzle me and force me into submission. How was that possible?!

I didn't answer and instead stared down at the CD in my hand.

"What is this?" I asked, my voice thick with confusion.

"A mix I made for you. You'll like it, I promise. It's a sin for someone to hate music, especially someone like you."

Those words were all it took to snap me out of my temporary daze. I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. He looked shocked but I didn't buy it for a minute.

"I want to ask you something," I said.

He looked at me and motioned for me to continue. For a moment, I lost my nerve. I realized how vulnerable I was, here in this house, in his room. Maybe this wasn't such a good place to have a confrontation. But I had made up my mind to do this and I wouldn't let myself back out now.

"Why did you care so much about what happened during lunch?" I managed to whisper. I had wanted to yell it out, but the fear was too great.

His face crinkled with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You asked me what happened," I explained.

"And?"

And what?

Suddenly, I was feeling very foolish. I had acted pretty bizarre in the cafeteria. And the only reason no one else had confronted me about it was because they knew why. They knew why I was forever changed and broken. Shane didn't.

And yet… there had been the eye thing. Something nagged at me that that had not been normal.

"Bella?"

My eyes met his and again, his eyes tried to dazzle me. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and looked down at the floor.

"It just seems like you're interested in me for some weird reason and I don't understand why. What do you want from me?"

Silence ensued for a few moments. Hesitantly, my eyes slid up to his. He was just staring at me, his eyes now a flat blue.

Finally, he spoke to me in a soft, low voice.

"I find you very interesting, Bella. That's all. I didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable. I just thought you seemed lost and… well, I'm lost, too. I thought we could bond over it together." He shrugged then and smiled sadly at me.

Remorse and embarrassment flooded through me. I was the stupidest, most ridiculous girl on the face of the planet.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Me either," Shane said softly. "Maybe that's why I find you so interesting. You look like a wounded puppy."

He walked over to me and slowly touched my face. His hand was warm as it slightly caressed my cheek.

"What _happened_ to you? What broke you?" he asked. It was the same question as yesterday. I shrugged and he sighed. "You can tell me."

I saw myself floating in his eyes. It dawned on me then that his eyes were in fact the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I had been so delusional, so desperate to find more evil coming my way that I'd looked too much into it. He just had nice eyes. That was all.

"I'm not interesting at all, Shane," I murmured. "Trust me."

"What makes you think that?" he asked softly. "Everyone else finds you interesting. I can tell."

I snorted involuntarily.

"What?" he asked.

"Not everyone."

The words hung over us for a moment before he nodded knowingly.

"_Who_ doesn't find you interesting, Bella? Who broke you?"

I closed my eyes at his realization that some_thing_ hadn't broken me; it was some_one_.

"Open your eyes and tell me."

Against my better judgment, I opened my eyes to his probing ones. Before I could stop myself, I uttered the one name I wished I'd forget.

"Edward."

"And who is this Edward?" he pressed. "Does he go to our school? I'd be more than happy to march up to him tomorrow morning and tell him just how interesting I find you."

"He's gone," I said sadly.

"Did you love him?"

I just nodded.

"I'm sorry," Shane whispered.

I pulled away from his hand and sighed.

"I have to go," I muttered lifelessly.

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I didn't respond as I turned around and fled.

* * *

I pulled into my driveway and groaned when I realized Jacob's car was parked in the street. It seemed as though everyone was hell bent on making me hurt as much as possible lately.

I reluctantly entered my house and smelled pizza.

"Bells!" Charlie yelled from the kitchen. "Where have you been?"

"With a friend," I answered sullenly.

He came out of the kitchen with Jacob in tow. "We ordered pizza when you were gone."

I just nodded.

"Bella…"

I looked at Jacob then and my heart lurched at the sight of him. He looked so incredibly sad. I felt a pang of remorse, realizing it was _me_ that had made him so sad. Sure, he had said a heartless and mean thing but he had only said it for my own good.

"Hi, Jacob," I said, trying to sound as warm as I could under the circumstances.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked me. He started walking to the front door. "Bye, Charlie. I'll see you next time."

"You got it," Charlie mumbled, distracted by the game on TV.

I followed him outside and shivered a little at the cold. Jacob watched me, concerned.

"I won't keep you out here long."

I just nodded.

"I wanted to… I wanted to apologize for what I said. I don't know why I said it. I certainly didn't mean it. I just-"

"Jake," I said, holding up a hand to cut him off. "It's okay."

"No, Bella, I-"

"Stop," I interrupted softly. "I'm sorry for being such a brat. You were right. What you said was right. It was the truth. The truth isn't always so nice, is it?"

"Bella," he said plaintively, "I'm so sorry. Even if it _is_ true, I shouldn't have ever said it."

"Maybe, maybe not," I said, "but it doesn't change the fact that it's true. And it doesn't change the fact that you said it for my own good."

His eyes softened at my words.

"Thanks, Bell. You're still coming with me tomorrow, right?"

I forced a smile and nodded.

He grinned back. "Thank you."

I shivered again and he frowned.

"You should get inside," Jacob said, backing away from me. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said.

I watched him leave before I turned back inside, desperate to go to sleep.

* * *

I walked into school the next day, hoping I could avoid Shane for at least the majority of the day.

I didn't want to look into his eyes. He knew too much. He saw how hurt I was and, for some reason, it was more upsetting that _he_ saw it rather than everyone else in town.

The day went smoothly, though slowly, and I had found a little bit of peace somewhere along the lines.

I was grateful when I noticed Shane wasn't sitting at the table. I sat down across from Angela with a big sigh of relief.

She looked at me questioningly and I just smiled. I felt elated that he was gone. I couldn't prove that he wanted to do me harm. As a matter of fact, I didn't think that at all anymore. I had misread the signs. Me and my stupid intuition had once again steered me in the wrong direction.

I felt slightly guilty at thinking of him that way. The truth was he had gone out of his way to be nice about me and he appeared to truly be concerned about me, no matter how unexpected and unwarranted that may have been. He was, all in all, a very nice guy.

I was still relieved he was nowhere to be seen. I felt overjoyed that I was rid of him and his knowing eyes.

But I spoke too soon.

Shane was sitting in his usual desk in English, doodling in his sketchpad. He didn't look up at me as I plopped down beside him. He didn't speak to me at all, thankfully.

I was glad that he had apparently decided I wasn't worth the effort or the interest. It was better he figure that out now than start a friendship with me and decide someday, like _he_ did, that I wasn't worth it.

The bell rang and I leapt out of there, though I was certain he wouldn't have tried to talk to me anyway.

When the final bell of the day rang, I was more than ready to leave. I looked forward to going home and maybe even taking a little nap.

I thought of what I was going to make for dinner as I walked to my car, but a tall figure distracted me.

Shane was leaning against the car, smiling sweetly at me. I felt like I was going to throw up.

I made my way over and stopped a foot away, my eyebrows arched.

"Could you give me a ride?" he asked.

I just stared.

"I'm sorry we didn't talk in English," he said suddenly, running his hand through his hair. "It's just that I thought you were mad at me or uncomfortable around me and I just wanted to give you some space."

I couldn't speak.

"Honest to God, I'm not just using you for a ride!" he added, his voice slightly louder than necessary.

Lauren walked past us just then and snickered. I glared at the back of her blonde head.

"Bella?"

I looked back at Shane and shook my head. "Get in."

"You're the best!" he exclaimed, getting into the car.

I'm so stupid. A stupid lamb, once again.

* * *

"Do you want to come in?" Shane asked. We were parked just in front of his house.

His words took me out of my fog and I looked over at him, surprised to see him there. We had been sitting there in silence for a while and I hadn't even realized it. As a matter of fact, we were quiet during the whole drive.

"Okay," I heard myself saying.

We went up to his room again and he shut the door behind us.

"Have a seat," he said, grinning.

I looked around amongst the mess and decided the dirty mattress was my best option. Awkwardly, I sat down on it and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible.

He was humming to himself, flipping through some pages on his desk. I looked over and saw a photo hanging on the wall of Shane and what appeared to be his father. A thought occurred to me then.

"Shane, where's your father?"

His back stiffened. "He usually goes out during the day."

"Oh," I said, not believing him.

Shane barely mentioned his father. And come to think of it, I hadn't seen many things that could possibly belong to him around. The house was spotless and all of the doors remained closed. The house was practically silent and empty. I hadn't seen any other rooms.

"I don't have the best relationship with him," he elaborated, sitting down next to me. "He likes to go out a lot of the time. That's when he writes."

"So you're home alone all the time?" I asked.

He nodded. "I'm used to it. I actually prefer it this way, believe me."

"Why?"

Shane smirked at me. "Look who's curious now."

I blushed and lowered my eyes. He was right. I doubted _he_ was suspecting me of somehow threatening his life.

"My father isn't… the best of company. Let's just leave it at that."

"Shane," I whispered. Then I stopped myself. It was wrong of me to ask what I wanted to ask.

"What?" he asked. When I didn't answer, he poked me on the arm. "Ask me or tell me whatever you want, Bella. I'm a good listener. And I don't shy away from hard questions."

I looked up into his eyes and lost myself in them again. I tried to remind myself not to look because it only made me dizzy but I couldn't help it. It was like glancing up at the sun; you knew it would hurt you and blind you, and yet its beauty and temptation made you cast up a curious look every now and then.

"Bella?"

"You said you were lost yesterday." Shane nodded. "Why are you lost?"

He sucked in a deep breath of air. He walked up and started to pace the room. I immediately regretted asking him.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered. "That was wrong of me. I flipped out on you when you asked me and then I had the nerve to-"

"Shhh," Shane said, kneeling down so that his face was level with mine. "I'm just trying to figure out the best way to tell it."

He stood up again and paced for a few more moments. Finally, he stopped and faced me. He heaved in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Bella, I don't know how to…"

He didn't continue.

"Go on," I whispered, urging him to continue. "You can tell me."

His eyes open then and they literally appeared to be lit from within.

"Alright," Shane breathed, "I haven't been completely honest with you, Bella…"


	6. Thoughts

**Please read my rambling note at the end- it explains some things!**

* * *

I stared at him. "What do you mean you haven't been completely honest with me?"

"I mean what I say," he said simply.

"I don't understand…"

Shane sighed. "This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. But the others are too eager and you're way too perceptive. I was warned about that but I had no idea just _how_ perceptive you truly were. I was cocky, certain I'd be successful where others failed. But I was wrong."

I stood up from his mattress, shaking my head in confusion. "What are you talking about, Shane?"

His eyes seemed to glow red now, though I knew that was impossible. He looked down at the floor and shook silently with laughter.

Fear started to course through my veins. My breath rattled in my lungs and my vision started to get blurry. I was in trouble- I was certain of that. After having experienced it so many times, I'd built up a radar system for danger. The alarm bells were deafening me now.

"What do you want from me?" I asked. I had tried to sound confident and calm, but it really came out as a whimper.

He smiled then. And I knew he was evil. I knew it with my whole heart.

He walked over to me and, ignoring my flinch, ran his hand through my hair. "Bella. Beautiful, beautiful Bella. Your life has been so incredibly tragic. I know all about it."

"_What are you talking about?_" I hissed, slapping his hand away.

"Edward."

That one word, that one name, seemed to haunt me wherever I turned. I was certain that I was going to faint but Shane lowered me down onto his mattress. Why could I not escape?

_It'll be as though I never existed_ he told me. I supposed it was just another promise he couldn't keep.

"Shane," I whispered hoarsely, the shameful tears starting to fall, "I don't understand." I was whining now but I didn't care.

"I work for the Volturi. Do you know who they are?"

The name triggered my memory of the coven of vampires Carlisle and Edward had told me about. I nodded numbly. The Volturi was the world's most powerful coven of vampires. I knew then I was going to die. Sobbing, I dropped my head into my hands.

"They frown upon vampires disclosing their identities to humans. Can you understand that?"

"I'm not a child," I shot out through the sobs that shook my body.

I didn't care about being polite anymore. I knew my death was inevitable. Like Edward had said, my number was up the moment we met. I wished desperately he had just killed me then. I would have rather died in his arms.

Shane smiled at me condescendingly. "To _me_, you're a child, Bella. But for a little girl, you are immensely brave. I'm quite fascinated by you."

"So all of this," I said, standing again, "your entire house, your invented father, was all made up just to get to me?"

He nodded, grinning proudly.

"Why?" I whispered, the tears finally stopping. I think I was too afraid to cry anymore.

"Bella," he said, clicking his tongue, "I explained it to you already."

I stared at him, confusion plain on my face. He shook his head at me and chuckled.

"I guess you're a little too upset right now to think clearly. Did you listen to the CDs I made you, by the way?"

He laughed again at my confused expression. "I only ask because I wanted you to have _some_ joy in your life, though I was fairly certain you wouldn't listen to it. It was Edward's lullaby, over and over again. It was hard getting a copy of it but... I have my ways." He sighed. "I'm glad I was right about you otherwise it would have made things… difficult. I'm too confident for my own good sometimes but I was fairly certain I knew you inside and out." He paused for a moment, gazing at me intently with a somber expression. "I watched you the day you clawed out that stereo, you know."

I sucked in a breath. Before I could blink, he was standing on top of me.

"That was quite a sight," Shane whispered, his breath fanning my face. "I had never seen anything like it, and I've seen a great deal of things."

He reached his hand and caressed my cheek.

"They really hurt you, didn't they? How tragic. I keep trying to understand what possessed them to leave. They had exposed themselves to you already. They knew what was at stake. Did they want you dead?"

I swallowed back a moan of pain. It felt like razor blades had gone down my throat. My mouth was incredibly dry and there were no more tears left.

"Why did they leave?" he asked me, placing a hand on my shoulders. "Tell me."

His eyes swirled and glittered. I knew I was going to answer him, even before he performed his trick.

"Edward didn't love me anymore. He wanted to leave."

I couldn't believe I had said it. My voice sounded calm, flat. I had accepted it, I suppose. Just as I had accepted my death.

"Ah," Shane said, realization dawning on his face. "Nothing hurts worse than being jilted. Did you give yourself to him, too?"

My eyes widened as what he meant came to me and I fought back the urge to spit in his face. It wouldn't do any good to aggravate the… being that was going to kill me in a matter of minutes. I was angry and stubborn but I didn't want a drawn out death; I wanted it to be over with.

"I guess you're not going to answer that..." Shane said, laughing.

I heaved in a breath and forced myself to speak. "No, we never did anything like that."

Shane nodded, as though he knew already. I wouldn't be surprised if he had. "I am sorry to tell you that the torment you felt all these months has been totally unwarranted. That family endangered your life by revealing what they were to you and then they left you to face the consequences. The Volturi have requested your presence because you know about their… nature. Humans knowing information like this is strictly forbidden."

He sighed and dropped his hands from my arms.

"We better get a move on."

"How are you going to do it?" I asked quickly, my fear finally bubbling over.

"Do what, exactly?"

"Kill me."

He burst out laughing. "Isabella, _I'm_ not going to kill you. I'm merely a transporter. I'm bringing you to the Volturi."

I relaxed somewhat, knowing I had a little longer to live. I wondered if I could sneak home and leave a note for Charlie.

_Charlie. _

He would never know what happened to me. And Jacob and Renee. They would all be devastated, just because I attracted danger to the left and right of me. They would think horrible thoughts about what happened to me and, though they wouldn't be far from the truth, I wouldn't want them living with that for the rest of their lives.

As if he could read my mind, Shane smiled at me and stepped closer.

"Don't worry, Isabella. I'll give you time to get ready. We leave in three days."

"Why?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Because," he replied, touching me again on my cheek, "I want you to be as cooperative as possible. I want to make this as painless as I can. So, if I let you stay for three more days to make peace and tie all your loose ends, do you promise to be a good little girl?"

I nodded slowly, not missing the double-meaning behind his use of "painless".

"Don't try anything. I'll be keeping a very, very close eye on you."

I had three days, which was more than I could have hoped for, anyway. I could say goodbye to Charlie and Jacob. I could call up Renee and have a nice long chat. I'd let them all think I was whole again. I might as well give them that. I would let myself think about my childhood and about my time in Forks. It wasn't all bad. As a matter of fact, in the beginning it was heaven. I never dreamed I could be so happy. I could say goodbye to my friends at school and I could make peace with everyone.

Then, at the very end, I'd let myself think about Edward. I was angry with him for leaving me but, as I told myself time and time again, I couldn't blame him. With every second I proved myself to be even more trouble than I was worth. I was glad he was nowhere near me; I didn't want him to die because of me, too. He'd hurt me, he'd deserted me, and he'd broken me. But I still loved him more than anything else in the entire world. Nothing changed that and I didn't want it to.

In my last moments, I wanted my thoughts to be only of him.

Shane started to walk out of the room but I had to know.

"Shane!"

He turned around, smiling. "Yes?"

"What exactly _are_ you?"

He took a deep breath and gave me the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. It was also the most frightening.

"Bella, my dear… it's better that you don't know. _Trust me_."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews, they keep me going. **

**I am not all that happy with this chapter, mainly because of the major revisions I had to do on it. Basically, I never meant to move the story along so quickly. It just happened! I desperately tried to change things around but nothing worked so, in the end, I gave up and went with the flow. I still intend on adding a few more things before the rest of the drama begins but I wish I could have played around with the innocence a bit more (( Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of chapters left and a LOT more things to take place. This story is nowhere near over. It's just that I wanted Shane to be good a little bit longer! I'm so angry with myself! **

**So I have to ask you all your opinion- I'm toying around with the idea of other POVs. They make me nervous because it's hard enough writing from Bella's POV, let alone Edward's, but I have some things written out and I'm tempted. What do you think? **

**Please, PLEASE, keep up the reviews. They help so much and really make me happy. I want to know what you all feel! **

**Till next time.**


	7. Goodbye: Part 1

**Oh my goodness. I just can't seem to stay away! I have a majority of the story written already and I'm anxious to get to the really good stuff. I combined a few chapters here just to move everything along. **

**Also, I wrote a little note at the end. I like to babble, apparently. **

* * *

Shane watched me intently from the passenger seat as we drove home in my truck. He had told me he intended on staying with me nearly every second for the next three days so I didn't try to run away.

I wouldn't have bothered at this point; I was tired of running away from danger. It was at every turn, no matter what I did. It was about time I accepted it. I couldn't bear to risk the lives of those around me any more.

We pulled into my driveway and I sighed as I turned off the ignition.

"Your father will be home any minute, correct?"

I looked at him. "Yes."

"You're being eerily calm about all of this," he noted.

I sighed again and picked up my backpack, pushing open my heavy door. "I've accepted it."

Shane followed me in my house, stepping on the back of my shoe once. I realized then that these three days wouldn't go exactly as I'd hoped.

The phone rang and I ran over to it.

A hard hand grabbed my wrist. "Don't you dare answer that."

I looked at Shane, his expression truly frightening.

"I'm not going to try anything," I hissed.

He let go of me, albeit reluctantly. I ran over and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" Jacob yelled. "I just wanted to tell you I'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow."

I cast a panicked glance at Shane. He noticed. In one step, he was in front of me, ripping the phone out of my hands and placing it back on the cradle.

"You're not going," he growled.

"How did you-"

"Bella, do you not comprehend at this point that I know everything? You're not allowed to go."

"If I don't go, it'll be suspicious. I promise you that."

He considered me for a minute, his eyes scanning my face. With a sigh, he stepped back.

"Maybe you have a point. I'll be watching."

"I figured," I muttered, picking up the phone to call Jake back.

Plans were set; he'd be there at 7 and I'd be home by 11. It sounded good to me. Four hours wasn't nearly enough time to say goodbye to my best friend in my opinion but I had to take what chance I had.

I started looking around for dinner, ignoring Shane's glare. I decided to do one of Charlie's favorites- breakfast for dinner.

I broke the eggs and listened to them sizzle on the pan.

"What do they have in mind for me?" I whispered after a while, not sure if I wanted to know at all.

"I couldn't say," he answered distractedly. I looked over at him. He was staring out the window, an unfathomable expression on his face.

I decided to let the matter drop. I knew deep down inside that, as he said before, I was better off not knowing.

* * *

**EPOV**

Another month, week, day, hour, minute, second. How many have passed since I was last at Bella's side? I'd lost count now.

I thought as I ran from her I'd be able to count each millisecond for eternity. That was before I realized that I would get to such a point in misery, I wouldn't be able to remember my own name.

The only name that existed to me was Bella. The only face I saw was Bella's.

The dark, musty room I rented out was just above a butcher's shop. How ironic. The metallic scent drifted up, nearly bowling me over with its vileness. I wondered what Bella would do if she were here. Surely she'd faint from the scent.

I shifted uncomfortably. I wondered what she was doing at that very moment. There was no clock around so I couldn't be sure of the time. Faint light drifted in through the boarded up windows but that meant nothing. It could just be street lights, after all.

I hoped she was happy, whatever she was doing, wherever she was. A pang of pain coursed through my body but I tolerated it as I'd tolerated the other waves of torture. I hadn't gotten used to it, oh, no. I'd merely survived it. But I knew, with my entire sorry existence, I wouldn't survive much longer.

The prospect of returning to Bella crossed my mind every five minutes. I waged a battle internally with what was right and what I wanted. The two couldn't be reconciled.

I knew with my whole dead heart she'd moved on. She needed to. She was too beautiful, too desirable. I grimaced as I thought about her with another man, a human, who could cater to her needs in ways I never could.

It was better this way. I wouldn't return. I would be strong. I'd stayed away from her before, hadn't I?

Then I realized I hadn't been successful that time, either. But this was different. I _had _to stay away now- more than ever.

I wondered idly if she'd accept me back, if I were to go back. I didn't deserve it, that was for sure. But I knew, as sweet and as good as Bella was, she'd be at least pleasant to me.

Another indescribable wave crashed down on me. This time, I moaned audibly. My empty insides clutched with agony. I had to go to her. I had to tell her I lied. I had to kiss her, had to place my cold cheek against her warm chest and listen to her heart thump wildly. I wanted to smell her, touch her, hold her. I didn't care that I was inferior to her anymore. _Dammit_, I wanted her!

No, no, no, no, _NO!_

I couldn't go back. I refused. She deserved better and she would have it. There was no question in my mind of that.

My cell phone vibrated across the room where I'd flung it the night before. I stared at it, surprised the battery had lasted that long. I'd charged it last week when I first moved into this flat, just to call Carlisle and tell him I was in London. He hadn't been pleased.

He made it clear that everyone was suffering from my decision and from my absence. I couldn't help it; the thought of being around them like this… It was better they didn't see it.

The phone vibrated again, casting a blue hue through the small room. I ignored it. It was probably Alice for the millionth time to plead with me to go back. It didn't help that she occasionally caught glimpses of my plans to go back in moments of weakness.

A few minutes, or hours, later, it vibrated once more. I sighed with frustration and indecision. It could be important. Maybe it was Carlisle.

I crawled over slowly and reached for it. Reluctantly, I picked it up.

"Edward?!" Alice cried.

I said nothing.

"Oh, Edward, thank goodness you answered. I thought I was going to have to come to London personally."

I groaned and rubbed my eyes with my free hand. "What do you want, Alice?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You need to come home. Immediately."

"You know I can't do that," I murmured quietly.

"Please, Edward!"

I heard desperation in her tone. Something was going on.

"Is everything alright?"

"Get here as soon as you can!"

"Is it Carlisle? Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone here is fine," she whispered, "for now."

"What does that mean, Alice?" I yelled, fully aggravated with her evasiveness. Then a thought came over me, nearly crippling me with distress. "Is it… Bella?"

"I don't know," she whimpered. "I can't see anything clearly. I don't think it has to do with her. But I know with every dead cell in my body that something horrible is about to happen. You need to be here with us until it passes. Please, Edward. For all of us."

I threw the phone down, effectively smashing it into pieces. She didn't need to hear my answer; I was sure she was already having a vision of me flying on a plane in the next few hours.

What else could I do?

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke with a start, hand clutched to my chest. Shane was against the wall opposite my bed, staring at me. He hadn't moved since before I finally drifted to sleep.

So it wasn't all a nightmare.

Judging from the light outside, it was very early morning.

I looked back at Shane, who was now watching me with anticipation.

"School," he said simply.

I nodded and slowly made my way out of bed.

"Don't you have to go home and change?" I asked him.

He grinned. "Naturally, but you'll be accompanying me for that. Go get changed and have your breakfast. And hurry."

Somehow I was showered, dressed, and fed within the next half hour. We made it to his house in five minutes and three minutes later he was next to me again in the car, impatiently ordering me to drive us to school.

We drove in silence, thankfully, and in no time we were parked next to Lauren of all people. She glared at me with hatred, flicking her eyes to Shane and then back to me, clearly jealous we were together. I suppressed a smile. If she only knew!

"Like I said yesterday, Bella," he told me, easing his way out of my truck, "don't try to pull anything."

I nodded and started making my way to school. Before I could blink, I tripped and was headed for the pavement. Shane grabbed my wrist and pulled me up with force, nearly breaking the bone in the process.

"Ow," I grimaced, rubbing my arm.

"Would it be an unreasonable request to ask you to stay alive until we get to Italy? It would make my job a lot easier."

I ignored him and walked into school.

The day passed uneventfully. How odd that it would be my last school day ever. It was so anticlimactic. I couldn't bring myself to be sad over it. I knew _true _sorrow.

The final bell rang and I barely acknowledged Shane leaning against my truck.

We drove home in the silence we'd already become accustomed to.

"Do you ever wonder where Edward is?" he asked me as we turned onto my block.

I froze. My heart pounded and I was sure my face contorted in anguish.

"You might as well answer," he laughed. "I'll force it out of you one way or another."

I shivered involuntarily, not doubting the veracity of his statement.

"Every second," I whispered.

He didn't ask me anything more, thankfully.

I lost track of time as the night progressed so I was quite surprised when I heard the doorbell ring. I flicked a glance at the clock and was startled to see that it was indeed 7.

Unable to shake the image of Shane sitting on my bed upstairs, watching over everything, I reached for the doorknob with shaky hands.

Jacob stood there in all his glory, grinning happily at me. He really did look handsome, even to my biased eyes. Jeans that seemed specifically designed for him hung on his hips. He wore a dark blue shirt that complimented his skin tone nicely. It was a nice change to see him dressed up.

"You look nice," I said, stepping aside so he could come in.

He laughed but I could tell he was embarrassed. "Thank you," he said. "You look beautiful."

I blushed and looked over at Charlie who sat proudly on the couch.

"Good to see you, Jacob," he said, waving his hand like a little kid.

"Hey, Charlie. Good to see you, too."

Charlie turned back to his game. "You two have fun, now."

"Bye, Dad," I called.

We walked over to Jake's car. I couldn't help but look around suspiciously, wondering where Shane was hiding now.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, concerned.

"Yes," I said quickly, jumping into the car next to him.

He shook his head and started it up. "You're a terrible liar, Bella Swan."

I smiled weakly at him. "So where's the party?" I asked, hoping to distract him.

"Back to the beach. We're having a nice little bonfire."

He noticed my shaking hands and narrowed his eyes at me. "Bella, what's going on?"

"Absolutely nothing," I replied, hoping my innocence was believable.

He turned back to the road, obviously deciding to not press it any more. But I knew it wasn't forgotten.

* * *

"The hot dogs were delicious," I said to Jake.

I'd barely had any; my stomach couldn't bear it.

"Mmm."

I watched Paul chase Quil around, tackling him to the sand whenever he caught him. Their laughter sounded so far away.

When I looked back at Jacob, I was startled to see him staring at me. He stood up and held out a hand to me.

"Let's go for a walk."

I nodded and stood, dusting the dirt off my behind. I was grateful for a walk but I knew it could get me into trouble. Especially since I knew Jacob was like me; he'd never let up on me until I told him what was going on.

We walked longer in silence than I'd expected. Finally we reached a large, smooth rock that jutted out over the water. Jacob led me to the edge and carefully helped me sit down so that my feet dangled over. When he saw I wasn't going to topple over, he joined me.

My stomach turned with anticipation. I licked my lips to distract myself but it didn't help. My hands were shaking again and I looked around, sure Shane wasn't too far.

"Bells," Jake whispered, reaching out for my hand. "It's going to be okay."

I met his eyes and instantly relaxed. The world could come crashing down around me and I'd still be at ease in Jake's presence. The thought amused me; the world actually _was_ crashing down around me.

"You're going to get over him," he said confidently. "I guarantee it." He squeezed my hand and smiled.

I stiffened, knowing just who he was talking about. He watched my reaction with pity. I pried my hand from his and wrapped my arms around my torso, heaving in deep breaths of much needed air.

"I'm sorry," he moaned. "I shouldn't have brought it up…"

"It's okay," I sighed, reaching out for his hand again when I was positive I wouldn't crumble. "You're just being a friend."

He winced at my words. "Bella, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Okay," I said in a guarded tone, watching him suspiciously.

"I think it's fairly obvious… how I feel about you."

I said nothing. I didn't like where this was going.

"Well, I was wondering if I could do something. You can tell me no and I'll never bring it up again, but I think you'd enjoy it."

My breath caught. I knew what he was talking about. He'd asked for one before.

"Jake, please," I begged, preparing to stand up and flee.

"Just one kiss, Bella."

Not now! Didn't I have enough to deal with?

"No, Jake, _never_," I growled out harshly. I immediately regretted it. He looked so sad.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking ashamed. His eyes were focused on the rolling waves.

I stood unsteadily. "I should be going."

With a sigh, he stood and hugged me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm always doing the wrong thing around you nowadays. I keep forgetting what you need most now is a friend."

I eased into the hug, not realizing until that moment how much I'd missed being in his arms. My sun, my comfort, my best friend all in one- I'd never see him again.

I pulled away and begged myself not to cry.

"I love you, Jake. You know that, right?"

He nodded but wouldn't look up.

I pulled his face towards me and forced him to look me in the eye. "I _love_ you. You're my best friend. If it hadn't been for you, I would have died months ago."

Jacob pulled me in for a tight hug and whispered my name in my ear.

A while later, Jacob said his goodbyes to his friends and drove me home. He was in another world on the drive back, thankfully. I was glad for it. If he had seen my expression, he would have known immediately something was terribly wrong. I couldn't risk involving him in this mess. And as sure I was of my imminent death, I was sure Shane would know I'd confided in him.

Jake pulled up my driveway slowly.

He turned off the car, leaving us in an awkward silence.

"Bella. I-"

"Shhh," I whispered. I hugged him once more, digging my hands into his back. I never wanted to let go.

He turned his head to give me a peck on the cheek but what I did next shocked the both of us.

I turned my face and pressed my lips against his. We shared a kiss, lasting no more than a minute. I felt nothing, of course. It was wrong to do it to him, I knew. My heart belonged to another and it would always be that way. I was leading him on and in a few days he'd wake up to find me gone from his life forever.

But in that moment, in his car, in the oppressive silence, wrapped in his loving, warm arms, I had to do it. It was my version of peace. He deserved whatever he wanted and he wanted a kiss. I owed it to him, after all. The only thing he didn't know was that it was my goodbye.

I pulled away first and watched his face. He had a faint smile that slowly widened into an ecstatic grin. His eyes fluttered open slowly. He looked utterly blissful.

I smiled warily. I was glad I made him happy one last time, no matter the cost.

"Goodnight," I whispered, getting out of the car.

He didn't say anything. Slowly, he turned the car on and backed out, throwing one dreamy glance my way before driving off.

The tears fell freely now.

_Goodbye, Jacob_.

* * *

**Breaking Dawn is out in just THREE days!! It's unbelievable! Thank God! Naturally, since we'll all be busy reading the real stuff, I won't be posting the next few chapters for about a week... Unless I decide to post again tomorrow... muhahaha!**

**So I tried the different POV, trying to capture Stephenie's tone in the outtake she posted on her site. I hope I did her vision _some_ justice. Edward is certainly a complicated character. **

**Thanks for reading and thanks to those who have reviewed- it means a lot and inspires me to write, write, write! Keep it up; I love hearing what you all think. I feel a little over my head with this stuff sometimes. **

**I hope you all pre-ordered your copy of Breaking Dawn!! Happy reading! (And please, please, PLEASE Stephenie... put in a wedding night scene...)**


	8. Ch 8 Goodbye: Part 2 & Ch 9 The Volturi

**So. I had no intentions of posting this until Breaking Dawn came out. That was before the explosion of spoilers came out and I accidentally uncovered some. I'm distraught. I wrote a little thing, explaining my depression. No spoilers are in it, but if it bores you, skip ahead to the next paragraph. I totally understand. I hate it when people blah blah blah before their stories but I can't help myself.**

**I was reading a fanfiction last night and the author wrote up on top how there were spoilers out and that she didn't want to know. I was talking to my friend today, who is the kind of person who reads the end before she reads the book, and she was frantically looking for spoilers. I told her that they most certainly existed, so she dug a little harder. Much to my chagrin, she found them and flipped. I HATE spoilers; I warned her not to tell me, but her reaction interested me so through the course of the conversation, I broke down and FORCED her to tell me. We talked on the phone for nearly two hours, punching holes through the spoiler and coming to the conclusion there was no way it was true. Later, I spoke with another obsessed friend. She told me there were more tiny spoilers on the internet movie database. I FOOLISHLY went to take a peak (since she basically blurted it out, anyway). It wasn't that bad, but another post caught my eye. I clicked it, not really thinking that there could possibly be any more spoilers. I assumed it was just another discussion about those that existed. I was wrong. I hate myself for knowing what I know and I hate the people that spoiled it even more. To make matters worse, I found out after I got off the phone with my friend that the spoilers are true. The chapters have been scanned and sent around the internet. The Twilight world is in an uproar. Needless to say, I'm quite despondent. Now none of my Twilight-obsessed friends are awake so I'm forced to flip out alone until tomorrow morning. If anyone wants to discuss, please PM me. I need support.**

**Whew, I'm at a loss for words right now but I still managed to say a lot, huh? Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter. I put it up to distract me. Please review so that I can obtain a little joy right now- I need the comfort. Thanks to those who have already and to those who are just reading; you're all fab.**

**Love ya. And please pray that these spoilers are all one big elaborate hoax. I know they're not, but just humor me.**

* * *

The next two days were uneventful and grueling. I almost wished I'd told Shane to take me in the beginning. I felt as though I constantly had a shiny blade perched above my throat, reading to drop down any second. It was an extremely unsettling feeling.

But I knew I was lucky that I had the chance to say my goodbyes to those who mattered most. It was important to me to leave them with some shred of happiness. Soon enough, they would find me inexplicably gone.

I tried not to think of Edward. I decided I'd wait until the end to say goodbye to him; I couldn't bear doing it a second before. The pain was excruciating.

I'd spoken to Renee on the phone Saturday night. She sounded concerned in the beginning but I quickly calmed her and assured her I was "content".

"Everything's fine, Mom," I told her. "I'm back on track. I even have a new boy in my life."

As I spoke, I clutched my stomach. I tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to break loose at any second.

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful. Charlie called to tell me a little bit about Jacob. I'm glad to see you two are bonding."

"He's a great guy," I said simply, praying she wouldn't ask me anything more about it.

Luckily, she had to go to one of Phil's games.

"I'm so happy for you, sweetie," she said.

"Thanks, Mom. I love you. Thanks for everything. I mean it."

She laughed her airy laugh. I knew then she was distracted.

"Love you, too, Bella. I'll talk with you soon."

I didn't say anything back. I waited until I heard the dial tone before I let myself sob.

_Goodbye, Renee. _

Saying goodbye to Charlie was harder than I thought. I knew it would be difficult- we'd grown as close as emotional-phobics could since I'd moved here- but I still thought somehow it would be tolerable. It wasn't.

Sunday night was when I decided to do it.

He was watching a game on TV, completely distracted. I'd have preferred talking to him when his attention was focused on me but Shane wouldn't have it. We were leaving that very night and this was my last chance.

"I'm going to bed, Dad," I said, my voice shaking.

"Alright, Bells," he said, never taking his eyes from the TV. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you, Dad," I choked out.

He looked over at me. Any other time, I'd be laughing at the expression on his face. He was at an utter loss.

"Uh… I love you, too, Bella."

"Goodnight," I whispered.

He nodded, clearly confused.

I quickly ran upstairs to my room. I ignored Shane's hulking figure and plopped down on my bed, letting the grief take me.

_Goodbye, Charlie._

Shane waited for my sobs to subside before he spoke.

"We'll leave an hour after he falls asleep," he explained.

I nodded and crawled onto my bed. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Whatever you wish," he said, looking out the window.

* * *

I woke up to him shaking me violently.

"It's time," he hissed.

Groggily, I stood up and grabbed my jacket. We were off.

When we reached the airport, the nerves kicked in. I tried desperately to relax but it was no use. I was getting scared.

Of course, that's when things really got interesting.

We walked over to the terminal and Shane groaned. I looked at the direction his eyes were fixed and saw nothing out of order. An ordinary looking man stood with a hat in his hand, grinning at us, but that was all.

But as the staring match continued, I paid more attention to the man. He looked at me then and his grin broadened. His eyes drank me in and I nearly fainted. He was _no_ ordinary man. Just with his eyes alone, he managed to make every hair on my body stand up with fear.

"I have to hand you over now," Shane whispered. "His name is Paul. He can be rough at times. Just do what he says and you'll be okay."

"What?!" I cried.

Shane rolled his eyes and pushed me in Paul's direction.

"He knows your whole story. He watched you with me. Don't bother lying to him. He's very talented at what he does."

I turned around to say something to him but he was gone.

I looked around, confused. Shaking my head, I wondered why I was so surprised.

Swallowing, I turned around to face my new transporter. I nearly gasped with fear; he was standing on top of me.

"Bella," he breathed, "so we finally meet. You don't know how I've longed for the day."

I cringed. His voice was nasally and frightening.

"My name is Paul," he whispered in my ear. "Let's go have some fun."

* * *

Just a few hours later, we were walking off the plane in an Italian airport. I knew it was a matter of time before I faced my death. I only hoped it would be quick and painless. Something told me I was hoping for the impossible.

Paul had been silent throughout our entire journey, which I was extremely grateful for. I hoped I'd be rid of him soon.

He led me across a sunlit plaza. I watched him curiously, wondering if he'd sparkle in the sun. He didn't.

We walked through an alley that steepened as we walked further. We came to a dead-end and I was prepared for him to turn around and drag me in the other direction when suddenly his rough hands were on my arms.

"Get off of me!" I howled.

He struck me across my face. I could feel the blood trickling down my chin. He had hit me a few times in the face earlier when I'd struggled against him before we got on the plane. He'd also punched me in the ribs on the plane when I threatened to yell.

_Great_, I thought to myself. As if anything could have made the situation worse. I was about to face a group of hungry vampires, bleeding from the mouth. As if they needed any more incentive to kill me.

"I hope you're satisfied with yourself. I told you before that as long as you cooperated with me, I wouldn't have to be rough with you. I gave you fair warning."

"You disgust me," I growled out, my voice stronger than I was feeling.

"The feeling is mutual, my dear," he rasped out. "These months watching you have been the most agonizing of my life. You're undeniably pathetic, do you realize that? It doesn't surprise me anymore why they left you. And I applaud that Edward for stepping away from you when he had the chance. You're fascinating from afar, my child. It doesn't last long."

I felt like ice was running through my blood now. I couldn't see anymore; black spots obscured my vision. I was sure that I was already dying and part of me was glad. Words like that should be able to kill.

"Now stop with the whining and the fighting. It's not going to help."

He dragged me and flung me down an empty, dark hole. A scream slipped from my lips before I could stop myself. I landed with a thud and another scream. This time it was from pain. I had surely broken my ankle and wrist from the fall.

Paul jumped down beside me, landing gracefully. He laughed in my face, amused by my pain.

"Poor little Isabella."

He grasped my arm tightly, effectively crushing it, and dragged me along with him again. My eyes shut in pain and fright as we walked through different rooms. They were absolutely freezing and I was shivering violently. Closing my eyes seemed to be less frightening somehow; I didn't want to see my surroundings.

Finally, he stopped walking. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted from the sight.

A man stood before me with translucent skin. His red eyes danced with merriment as he watched me tremble with fear. His long, black hair cascaded down his shoulders and shone in the light of the crowded room. The others twittered to one another; all of them stared at me, completely fascinated.

But he wasn't why I now shook uncontrollably with fear. This unknown vampire was nothing in comparison to what stood next to him.

A vampire I had encountered so long ago stood next to him proudly, grinning at me with such malice that I had to suck in deep breaths to stop from fainting.

Victoria.

She flicked her flame-colored hair back behind her shoulder and looked at the man that stood beside her.

"May I begin now?"

"No. Not yet. It's not time." The man's voice was eerily calming and sweet. He looked at me again and this time our gazes locked. Though his voice calmed me somewhat, his presence and eyes did the opposite.

"My name is Aro," he said to me. "You must be the infamous Isabella Swan."

No words would come out. I was numb and yet petrified. The pain from my face, wrist, ribs, and ankle was indescribable but I refused to let myself acknowledge it. It would all be over soon.

"Why don't you take a seat?" Aro said to me politely.

Paul pushed me down into a seat that suddenly appeared behind me. He looked up at Aro. They nodded at each other. Paul chuckled, looking down at me before turning and running out of the room.

Just like that.

"Do you know why you're here, Bella?"

I looked up at Aro and shivered. I just nodded in response.

"Victoria alerted us to the situation in Forks and I must admit I was quite alarmed to hear that you knew all about us. She told me that you are Edward's mate. Is that true?"

"No." The one single word burned on his way out.

"She's lying!" Victoria spat, thrusting a finger in my face. "The little brat is lying! I saw it with my own two eyes, Aro."

"If you're lying, my child, it will only make things harder for you."

"I'm not lying," I whispered. "We're not… mates. He left Forks months ago."

"That means nothing!" Victoria bellowed, her scarlet eyes flashing with rage. "One of the Cullens can see the future. They probably saw us coming."

Aro looked at me, smiling. "Well, little one?"

"Alice saw nothing. She only sees the future when you make a decision. They didn't leave because of you, they left because of me."

"And why was that?" Aro pressed.

Again, I was going to be forced to speak the words that broke me every time. I wished they would just kill me already. The most torture filled death would be better than this.

"Edward fell out of love with me."

Victoria snorted. "That's convenient."

Aro held up a hand to silence her.

"I heard that you are immune to Edward's power. That is quite fascinating, Bella."

I shrugged, done with the pleasantries. "How did you find that out?"

He grinned at me. "I have my ways. I was wondering if I might try something with you… See, I can read thoughts, too, but I must touch you. I can read every thought that has ever entered your mind."

"You want to try and read my thoughts?" I asked flatly.

He nodded excitedly. "Edward's talent is far greater than my own, I know. He can read your mind without even touching you! Can you imagine if we could combine our talents? What extraordinary beings we then would be!"

I just stared at him.

"May I have your hand?"

I reluctantly reached out, repulsed at the thought of touching his skin. It hung from his bones and looked as though it would fall off at the slightest touch.

He eagerly reached forward and grabbed me. His skin was the softest material I'd ever touched and his hands were the coldest I'd ever felt. He stared deep into my eyes, never once breaking concentration.

I watched as his expressions went from calm to confused to surprised, then to frustration and finally awe.

"Amazing," he muttered to himself. "Truly remarkable."

He looked back and focused his gaze on a beautiful little girl standing a few feet behind him.

"Jane, dear one, please join us for a moment. I want you to try something for me."

Victoria's laugh sent chills down my spine. "But Jane's talent is the greatest of them all."

Aro smiled at Jane appreciatively.

The girl named Jane glared at me and bore her glistening red eyes into mine. She stood still for what seemed like an eternity to me before howling in anger.

"Amazing," Aro whispered again, staring at me intently. "Relax, my sweet," he said to Jane. "This human is quite a mystery."

He stood and beckoned Victoria to follow. They moved to the far corner of the room and were joined by two other vampires who resembled Aro somewhat. I figured that they were the other two that made up the trio, but I couldn't remember their names. They peered at me curiously but kept their attention on the conversation at hand.

I watched with slight interest as Victoria began gesticulating wildly. Her yelling was audible but I couldn't make out a word of it. She was talking too fast.

I heard the door open behind me and a great chill came in, making me shiver. I didn't bother turning around; I was sure it was a sight I didn't care to see.

Footsteps clanged out behind me as they got closer and closer to my chair. Suddenly, seven people stood in front of me. Their faces ranged from shock, fury, heartache, sadness, pained, sympathetic, and tired. Theirs were faces I knew too well, even better than my own.

"Oh, Bella," Alice whispered, tears that never would be shed glazing over her eyes, "what have they done to you?"


	9. Brave

**I was going to wait a week or so to post this, figuring everyone was reading Breaking Dawn but I decided why not? Most of you are probably done by now.**

**I was really disappointed by the book. There were some really great parts and then some wtf? parts. All I could say at the end was, "What happened?" If any of you have finished reading it and want to discuss, PM me. Thank God we have 3 books to work with- I'm ignoring the 4th. **

**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for the reviews- keep them up. They help me a lot. **

* * *

I tried to clear my throat to speak but I couldn't.

I looked up at the vampires who stood staring at me. Emmett's mouth was open in shock. Jasper eyed me pitifully and Alice was sobbing. Esme held onto Carlisle for support and stared at me like I was a ghost. Carlisle's face was calm and serene, but I could detect a hidden layer of surprise. I let my eyes skim over to Rosalie who looked angry. She probably blamed this all on me. I didn't fault her for that.

I finally let myself look at him.

Edward stood back behind his family members, gaping at the sight of me. I couldn't blame him; I knew I looked a mess. The blood that now flew freely from my face must have been painful for him to ignore. The tortured expression on his face told me it was. He still looked as beautiful as the first day I saw him.

I swallowed and looked away.

"Bella?" Alice whispered, kneeling down so that her face was level with mine. "Bella, please talk to us!"

I couldn't look at her. I knew I was being immature but I couldn't help it. I wanted nothing more than to jump up and throw my arms around her, around all of them, but I couldn't. I wasn't even sure if they were really here. What if this all was one sweet dream amongst a terrible nightmare? Didn't the Cullen family occupy all of my dreams?

Those thoughts were crushed immediately when Paul walked in and I remembered this was all too real. He eyed the family curiously and even grinned. Edward growled, likely reading his thoughts.

I decided to focus my attention on the blood-stained floor.

"Carlisle!" Aro called out, running over with enthusiasm. "I'm so pleased you could join us!"

"The pleasure is all mine," Carlisle responded dryly.

"Aren't you all pleased to see Bella?" Aro asked pleasantly. I looked up at him and was immediately sucked into his probing eyes.

"Surely there was a better way of bringing her here," Carlisle said softly.

"Hmm,yes," Aro said distractedly.

He walked over to me and slowly brought his pale hands to my face. Gently, he stroked the blood. For some reason, I didn't even flinch. I heard some growls from the Cullens but I ignored it. In a swift motion, he brought his fingers to his mouth and tasted my blood.

Edward flew over and stood next to me.

"Get away from her," he snarled. The danger in his voice made me shiver.

"Relax," Aro smiled, "I'm not going to harm the human."

"Yet," added one member of the trio from across the room.

"Won't you all sit down?" Aro asked, pointing to chairs that had mysteriously appeared.

The family reluctantly sat down, each set of eyes focused on me.

"I suppose you'd all like some alone time. I'll just go speak with my brothers for the time being." Aro politely bowed and left us.

"Bella," Carlisle called firmly. I looked over at him and met his eyes. "How did this happen?"

I licked my bloody lips and caught Jasper's wistful expression. I said nothing.

"Bella!" Alice pleaded. Edward leant over and whispered something in her ear too softly and quickly for me to hear. She pouted and crossed her arms but cast a pleading look in my direction anyway.

I stared back at her. Words would not formulate in my mind.

"Shall I be your spokesperson, Isabella?" a voice purred. I looked up to see Paul's smirking face.

His eyes flashed and suddenly words came to my tongue.

"I'd rather be dead than have _you_ speak for me."

I heard Emmett chuckle quietly. Alice gasped and Edward groaned.

Paul knelt down and moved his face close to mine. I saw Alice place a restraining hand on Edward's shoulder out of the corner of my eye.

"You know, Isabella… that could be arranged."

I laughed mirthlessly. The sound surprised me and seemed to even shock the Cullens. "You don't scare me."

He moved his face even closer. His eyes were just a few inches away. I thought I could almost make out flickers of fire in them. "Are you positive about that?"

Edward hunched forward in his seat but Carlisle spun his head to cast him a forbidding look.

Paul stood and looked over at Edward. "Trying to defend her _now_, Edward? How sweet. It's a little too late for that, however." Edward growled but said nothing. I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to meet them. Paul sighed and stretched. "You all should have seen what a pathetic corpse Isabella's been all these months. She looks bad now but, believe it or not, it's an improvement. She's been dead all these months. Dead. Would you like to see some images, Edward?"

Edward shot up and nearly leapt over to Paul but stopped in his tracks. Alice was telling him something in her mind, clearly, and so he reluctantly sat down. His eyes flicked over at me again but I quickly looked away.

"Your sister is wise, Edward." Paul looked down at me and smiled. I resisted the urge to cringe. "Where were we? Ah, yes. We were talking about your pathetic existence. Should we tell them how you could barely say their names?"

I refused to look away from his eyes that burned into mine. "You can tell them if you like. You're still not scaring me."

I thought I heard Rosalie chuckle but I couldn't be sure.

"Yes, Isabella, you should keep up the brave front. It's very admirable. But I know that deep down, you're terrified."

I smiled sweetly at him. "You can ask Jasper my emotions. I think you'll find that you're wrong."

I saw Carlisle fight a smile.

Without warning, Paul's hard fist smacked into my cheek bone. I flew off the chair and skidded into the wall. I heard shouts but I ignored them and somehow regained my footing on my own.

I saw Edward battling Paul but he was distracted, constantly casting worried looks at me. I walked over calmly and crossed my arms. "Stop."

Surprisingly enough, they did. Emmett stoof to restrain Edward and pulled him back, away from Paul.

I looked at Edward directly for the first time. When my eyes met his, the familiar electrical jolts shot out from his body and tingled inside of mine. For a moment, I forgot entirely where I was and all that had happened. Luckily, I managed to regain control of my thoughts and ignore the delicious sensations.

"Sit down, Edward."

He opened his mouth to protest but I could tell he was too shocked to say anything.

"You're making things worse."

He looked hurt, then, and for a moment I felt a pang of remorse. I quickly told myself I didn't care. He'd hurt _me_ immensely, hadn't he? And I was right; if he made a spectacle, things would only spiral out of control.

He sat down dejectedly and threw off Alice's comforting hand.

"Sit," Paul spat out, pointing at my vacated chair.

I looked down at it and back up at him. "No."

"Sit in the damn chair, Bella," Edward's velvet voice implored harshly. It was the first time he'd spoken. I ignored him.

"Ah," a voice sang, "we meet again."

I looked up to see Victoria smirking at the family. Growls erupted loudly from all of them but I ignored it and plopped down in the seat.

Victoria's eyes settled on me and somehow she managed to pool up enough hatred in them to nearly make me afraid. But I was past all emotions now; I was a numb, empty vessel. The Cullens had seen to that.

"Isabella," she cooed, "I heard you saying you weren't scared of Paul. Are you sure you aren't scared of _me_?"

I smiled back at her and grinned even wider when I noticed it startled her.

"What _happened _to her?" Emmett asked Carlisle under his breath.

"I've been asking her the same question," Paul laughed wickedly. "Apparently, _you_ all did."

Edward moaned and put his head in his hands. For a moment, I nearly ran over to comfort him.

"Don't you have someplace else to be?" I asked Paul bitterly.

"Hmm, this is _much_ more interesting."

I looked back at Carlisle and decided I could finally speak to him now. I had found my voice.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, desperately trying to take out any anger from my tone.

"We were summoned here," he explained. "It seems we've broken a law."

On cue, Aro hovered over to us.

"Hopefully you all are acquainted once again!" he laughed. He clapped his hands joyously and looked around the room. "Ah, so where shall I begin?"

He looked over at me and giggled. "We'll begin with you, Bella!"

Edward started to speak but Aro held out a palm. "You don't want to make things more difficult, do you, Edward?"

Aro didn't wait for a response. He held out his hand to me again and led me over to an elaborately decorated chair. He sat across from me. I was seated closely to Edward and I found myself trembling.

"Don't be frightened, child," Aro said in what I suspected was supposed to be a comforting tone.

"I'm not. I'm cold."

He laughed hysterically as though I'd said the funniest thing in the whole world. I could feel all of the Cullens' eyes on me but I did my best to keep mine on Aro.

"Now, can you please tell me how you came to know this family?"

I cleared my throat. "I went to school with them."

He nodded and motioned with his hands to continue.

"I became friends with them."

"Bella," he said in a disapproving tone, "please don't insult my intelligence."

"I followed them around curiously until I found out what they were. When they found out what I knew, they kept me around to keep me from talking."

I forced myself not to look surprised; I had no idea where the lie had come from. I heard Carlisle and Rosalie gasp. The others were too shocked to say anything. I hoped that Aro would take that as a surprise I admitted that rather than a surprise at my lie.

"Really?" Aro asked suspiciously. "And what about Edward? Victoria was under the impression you two were mates."

"She was wrong," I said simply, though the words burst open the hole in my chest. I had to focus on getting through this without getting anyone hurt. I couldn't allow myself to start hyperventilating.

"Hmm," he nodded. "But you said before Edward had stopped loving you. Surely there was something between the two of you."

I heard a strangled sound come from his chest but I didn't dare look over.

I swallowed and forced my heart to stop beating so loudly. "I was a passing amusement. A _distraction_. Nothing more."

"Bella," Edward moaned, "I-"

I snapped my head at him. The intensity in my eyes silenced him; he closed his mouth but still continued to stare at me pitifully.

Slowly, I brought my eyes back to Aro. "He still feels guilty about it but that doesn't mean anything."

"Bella, one of my brothers has the ability to sense the power of relationships. He told me that the love you and Edward share is unbelievably potent. You're either lying or you're gravely mistaken."

"The love must be entirely on my side, then," I protested calmly. I could see by the spark in his eyes that he was beginning to believe me. "I love him with my entire existence."

Aro watched me for a few moments, seemingly fascinated by me. Finally, he said, "You're amazing, Bella. I've never seen anything like it. You're faced with death because of vampires that deserted you, leaving you unprotected, and yet here you sit, defending them."

"I'm not defending them," I replied flatly. "I'm just telling the truth."

The truth was, I had no idea why I was defending them. Maybe I just wanted to finally die and be rid of all the emotions that floored me on a daily basis. Maybe it was because I still loved Edward. Maybe it was because I still loved all of them, even Rosalie. They had been my family, my friends. I couldn't let them die because I'd wiggled my way into their world. I'd rather sacrifice myself.

He nodded and stood. "I'll return shortly."

He went over to his brothers and whispered to them. They all looked over at me and then exited the room. Paul and Victoria followed them. We were left with just one vampire who was guarding over us suspiciously.

I said nothing. I looked down at my bruised and cut hands, wondering how all of these vampires were able to resist attacking me. I was bleeding all over the place.

"We need to speak with you, Bella," Carlisle began. "What you are doing is very noble but-"

"It's not noble. It's the truth."

"No it isn't," Edward cried out. "It isn't at all." He turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle, please. We have to figure out a way to save her."

I looked up and saw Carlisle's expression. It was full of pity and sadness. He looked over at me and his ancient eyes told me all I needed to know. No matter what, I was going to die. There was no way out.

"I saw their thoughts, Carlisle. They want her. They don't plan on waiting for very long."

"There's nothing we can do," Carlisle responded quietly.

"I'll be damned if I risk my life for some little-"

Edward spun around and glared at Rosalie. "_Don't even say it_ or I'll make you regret the words forever!"

She shut her mouth but glared angrily over at me. I refused to look away from her; for the first time since I'd met her, I refused to let her make me feel small. She looked surprised but didn't lessen the hatred that was clearly written on her face.

"I don't blame you for hating me," I told Rosalie. My voice sounded sad, even to my own ears. "I've put you all in danger from the very first second I met you. Most of all you," I turned to Edward. "Especially you." He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it.

I looked back at Rosalie and smiled ruefully. "You never wanted to be a part of all this and I understand. I've threatened your family enough. But for the remainder of my life, which clearly shouldn't be long now, do you think that you could keep your thoughts and words to yourself?"

Her eyes widened with shock. I nearly smiled; I finally put Rosalie in her place.


	10. Choice

**This chapter is kind of short but important. Shane will be back in a couple of chapters (woo hoo!). Like I could keep him away- I love that evil kid. Surprises are coming and I can't wait to show you. Thanks for reading and for the reviews. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We sat for a few moments in silence before Edward stood up and placed himself in front of me. Tenderly, he reached out to touch my chin and raise my face so that I'd meet his eyes. Reluctantly, I looked up at him.

There was such torment and guilt in his eyes that tears began to form in mine. _I didn't want to feel bad for him_.

"Please," I whispered, "don't touch me."

He dropped his hand and the same strangled sound came from his throat. "I want to explain everything to you but I need to get you out of here first."

"I don't want an explanation," I sighed. "Please sit down before you make more trouble for yourself."

"I don't care about me, Bella," he whispered. He reached out his hand again to stroke my face but I cringed back.

He sighed and took a deep breath. "I left for you," he said simply. "I need you to know that."

I looked up, shocked. "You left _because _of me."

"No, Bella," he said, shaking his head, "_for_ you. I saw how every day I brought another element of danger into your life. Just by being around me, your life was threatened. I couldn't protect you anymore. I saw what you were giving up, what you could have without me, and I _knew_ I was keeping it all from you. You're so beautiful, so good. It wasn't right to keep you from living the life you were meant to lead."

I was confused. What was he talking about?

"I love you, Bella," he breathed, reaching his hand out once again. He ignored my flinch and stroked my jaw. "I always have and always will. I lied that day to protect you. I'm so… disgusted with myself. Apologizing and professing my undying love does not seem to be anywhere near enough but it's all I have. I will say I love you and I'm sorry every day for the rest of our lives."

"_My_ life, you mean?" I laughed bitterly. I was just humoring him with this conversation. It was easy for him to say all of this; I'd be dying in a matter of minutes.

"Yes," he agreed. "If you'll allow me to be a part of your life then I'll be by your side until your last breath. I'll follow you not too long after."

Alice whimpered but he ignored her.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he whispered, kneeling down in front of me.

I was captured in his gaze, unable to look away or think any unpleasant thoughts. I wanted to feel his cold lips on mine. I wanted to run my fingers through his perfect silk hair. I wanted his freezing stone chest pressed against mine.

Thankfully, Aro came into the room.

"My brothers have left this decision to me." He looked over at Carlisle and smiled. "Carlisle, since you are such a dear old friend, and I'm well aware of how responsible you are, you and your family are welcome to go with our blessings. Please be more careful in the future."

Carlisle looked over at me and back at Aro.

"You know the law, Carlisle," Aro warned.

"No!" Edward growled, on his feet the instant Aro spoke the words.

"You really don't have much of a say in it, my boy," Aro chuckled darkly. "I can see how much your family loves you. Don't hurt them any more. Leave with them, go on with your existence, and seek pleasure where you can. Move on, just as you wanted the human to do."

"There's no point in me existing if she's not alive," Edward yelled.

I was taken aback but then I quickly realized it was just a tactic to convince Aro to spare my life. Edward was taking responsibility for me, once again.

"Stop feeling guilty, Edward," I heard myself saying. "What's done is done. This is where I'm meant to be."

He looked over at me, his face frantic. His eyes were wild and pitch black.

"Don't you _dare_ say that!" he cried out. "You're meant to be with _me_!"

"That's hardly the truth, Edward. After all, you left her." Aro put his arms behind his back.

"I'll never forgive myself for that," Edward said, never taking his eyes away from mine. "But I know now she belongs with me."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that," Aro remarked sadly.

"What if we were to change her?" Alice asked, ignoring Edward's glare.

"Absolutely not!" Edward bellowed.

"Hmm," Aro said, casting an appraising glance my way, "that could work. Her ability to reject mind-controlling abilities is astounding. It makes me quite curious to see what her talent would be. Undoubtedly, it would be amazing as well."

My heart throbbed loudly to my own ears; I could only imagine what it sounded like to them. I wasn't afraid to become a vampire. I was excited. Suddenly a vision of living forever with Edward by my side appeared to me. It warmed my insides and, for the first time since Edward left me, I felt nearly happy. His next words, however, quickly took me out of my daydream.

"It's out of the question!" Edward barked, walking over to stand in front of me. "I won't allow it. The last thing in the world I want her to become is one of us."

My heart dropped and tears finally spilled over and down my cheeks. Aro watched me and laughed.

"The human's crying! How delectable. I find tears absolutely fascinating."

The Cullens all looked at me but I couldn't bear to meet their eyes. I heard Alice sob louder.

"Can we just get this over with?" I whispered.

"Very well," Aro said. "This will be your decision to make, Bella, though I'm afraid you'll have to make it soon."

"No!" Edward cried out again. "Please let her just live! Take me instead. Can't she-"

"Be silent," Aro commanded, his smile finally fading and his voice sounding harsh. It was quite a change from before. He looked back at me and smiled again. "Your decision, my sweet?"

I looked over at them- the people I once thought would one day be my family. I looked at Rosalie first, who actually seemed to look sympathetic. Jasper looked like he'd be crying if he could. Emmett glared murderously at Aro. Esme was still clutching on desperately to Carlisle, her eyes wide with horror. She looked like she was about to faint any minute. Poor Esme.

Edward was looking back and forth between Aro and me, no doubt planning something. Then I let my eyes fall on Alice. She looked terrified and heartbroken. I saw then that she knew already what I was going to say. She knew and she was about to speak. I had to stop her.

"I choose death."


	11. Slice of Heaven

**Hey everyone! I don't think I'm going to be able to update for the next couple of days so get this- I ended up combining THREE chapters. That's right- THREE. I also kind of felt bad for how I left things the last time hehe. The next few chapters are written and I can't wait to share them with you. I'll probably be begging to get to my computer so I can post them, haha.**

**Thanks for reading and for the reviews. Comments make me all fuzzy inside, lol, so keep it up. It's amazing how much they can brighten your day.**

**I hope you all like this chapter. I'm a little scared! Let me know what you honestly think.**

* * *

"No!" Alice screamed, leaping up to run to me. Jasper stopped her, holding onto her tightly. A wave of calm drifted through the room but it didn't appear to help anyone.

Edward still stood in front of me. He was actually paler than usual. There was no emotion on his face; he just stared at me.

I couldn't bear to look at the rest of them.

"This is your final decision?" Aro questioned me in a confused voice.

"Yes," I whispered, looking at the floor.

"Bella," Emmett pleaded, "_don't do this_. You can be one of us. Think about it. Please, Bella. For Edward. For us."

I'd never heard Emmett speak like that before. I looked up and, if I still had a heart, his expression would have broken it.

"Please, Bella," Carlisle said softly, "think about it some more. This is a very big decision to make and I'm not sure you're in the best state right now..."

I ignored him. My mind was made up.

Aro walked over to me and stroked my hair. "Forever is unappealing to you, is it?"

Edward fell to his knees in front of me. "Bella," he groaned, barely audible, "I'm begging you. Don't leave me."

For a moment, I nearly agreed. The hurt in his eyes was comparable to mine. But I couldn't live for eternity without Edward as my love; I didn't want to. His guilt would eventually subside and he'd leave me again. I couldn't stand the pain all over again. This was the only way for me now.

"I've made my decision," I said firmly.

"You don't have to do this," Carlisle said in a soothing tone. "Aro agreed to let you go if you become one of us. He won't go back on his word or hurt any of us."

Looking over at Edward, I sighed. "I love you, Edward... I always have. _But_ _I can't bear to live forever if it's not with you_. So now I want this, more than anything. I'm sorry if that upsets you. It's my decision." I sniffled and rubbed my nose. "I love you. Forever."

Edward was still kneeling, motionless. He stared off into space, no longer looking at me. Maybe he was rejoicing over the fact he'd no longer have to feel responsible for my welfare. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he was safe, along with the rest of his family.

I stood up and walked over to the door I knew led deeper into Aro's chambers. I looked at him expectantly and he chuckled.

"Bella, no!" Alice screamed, successfully running over to me and pinning me in the tightest hug imaginable. I think I heard a few more bones break. "Don't! _Don't!_ You're upset, you're angry. That's all understandable. But you just can't do this. _Please_. You're my best friend!"

"She's made her choice," Aro said calmly. "She's already done it."

With a gentle but firm gesture, he pulled her off me and grabbed my arm. Before I could blink, I was in a pitch black room, alone with Aro.

* * *

**EPOV**

_What have I done?_

My only desire in life was to make Bella happy. Somehow, I ended up destroying her. I barely recognized this broken girl that sat beside me, answering questions in a monotone.

It didn't surprise me when she defended us. It did surprise me, however, when she claimed I never loved her.

I jolted with shock, certain I'd misheard. Alice glared at me, her eyes flashing. Her thoughts were screaming at me.

_I told you, Edward. I told you she didn't think you loved her. What have you _done_?_

Exactly. What have I done?

_We'll straighten this out, Edward. She likely thinks Aro will hurt one of us. I'll take care of it. _Carlisle's thoughts didn't help the fury brewing inside of me.

Jasper sent out waves of tranquility but it didn't help. Looking around the room at my family's tortured faces, I realized it didn't help anyone.

Then Aro gave her the choice to decide her fate. I spoke without thinking and said she shouldn't be a vampire. That only left one choice left. Death.

And of course, being Bella, she picked it. If my heart still functioned, it certainly would have stopped beating then.

I pleaded with her; we all did. But she was like a stone wall- impenetrable and unyielding. She'd made up her mind, she kept repeating.

And then she told me she loved me. She said she couldn't live without me. She couldn't live for eternity without being mine. And then she walked away.

I knelt there, staring off into the distance stupidly. I tried to find the words I wanted to say but there were none. I was shocked into speechlessness. I never imagined that this was how things would turn out. I knew that day in the forest she believed me but I hoped over time she'd realize what I'd done and come to terms with it.

Only now did I realize how wrong I was.

When I finally stood and turned, she was nowhere to be found. Alice was clawing at a sealed door, sobbing hysterically and shrugging off Jasper's soothing hands. I looked around in a daze. What happened?

Esme had to be lowered down onto a chair carefully. Carlisle looked distraught and lost. I'd never seen him look that way before, not even during the months that I was a lifeless mess.

It took me a minute to figure it all out.

Emmett's thoughts called out to me. The words caused my stomach to clench in unbelievable pain.

_He's going to kill Bella now… How did this happen? How is Edward going to survive _now_? I can't believe this. I don't know what to do. Maybe there's some way we can just break down the door and take her. Maybe I could…_

I stopped listening. Aro had taken Bella. Bella was about to die. _My_ Bella.

All because of me.

* * *

**BPOV**

I wasn't afraid, surprisingly. I was anxious for it to be over.

"Bella," Aro whispered in my ear, "one last chance to change your mind. I really do not desire ending your life. You are a rare commodity."

I said nothing. Instead, I craned my neck so that my vein poked out prominently. I was ready. I knew that if Aro legitimately had any misgivings before, the aroma and sight of my blood would quickly squash them.

And yet he surprised me. He placed his cool hands on the sides of my face and kissed my forehead gently.

"Poor, beautiful creature. You're like a wounded animal in the jungle. I could never hurt you."

I nearly cried out in agony then. He wasn't going to hurt me?! I needed him to bite me, to suck the life out of me. I didn't want to go on feeling this way anymore.

But then relief flooded over me when he gently moved my head to the side, once again exposing my pulsating vein. I could feel his cool breath just inches away from my flesh. I shivered from the sensation.

_It'll all be over soon_, I kept telling myself.

His sharp teeth then pierced my skin, gently at first. It hurt slightly, like getting pricked by a sewing needle. Slowly, he added more pressure. I could feel my blood draining, my heart thumping with the involuntary flow of adrenaline. It sounded like loud drums in my ears, getting louder and faster by the minute. My body was once again telling me to be scared but, like always, I was unaffected.

I bonded with my father more than I ever dreamt I could. I had loved a beautiful god. I had a great year in the arms of an angel. I had met my best friend, who had brought me back to life. I received more than I ever deserved. That one slice of heaven was all I needed. I could accept this now.

With a frightening growl, Aro clamped down violently and harshly on my neck. My vision became blurred and I felt increasingly light headed. The scent of my blood wafted up to my nose, nauseating me and making me feel dizzy. Pressure increased on my throat and an involuntary sob fell from my lips. The burning at the site of the bite was unbearable but I closed my eyes, trying to remember every detail of Edward's face. His amber eyes. His crooked smile. His kiss.

The end was near; I could feel it.

Before the blackness descended over me, I felt one tiny tear trickle from my eye.

_Goodbye Edward._

* * *

Sizzling pain coursed through my veins. Burning liquid ice trickled along, sending my body into convulsions. It felt like scorching glass was being pumped by my heart, filling up my body and tearing its way along.

I was shaking in pain, freezing and yet burning up at the same time.

_So this is what death feels like_, I thought to myself, coming out temporarily of the black fog.

I heard a voice faintly somewhere above me. I knew somehow whoever it was wasn't talking to me. I could barely make out a word; nothing else existed now but the pain. It was excruciating.

My run-in with James was nothing in comparison. The burning had been isolated to my hand alone. Now my entire body was racked with pain, involuntary moans and cries escaping from my mouth.

I called out for Charlie, for my mother. I called out for Jacob to save me. I even, God help me, called out for Edward. I called out for him the most.

I wondered when the agony would be over. Surely I'd been like this long enough. When would it stop?

"Bella."

My eyes slowly opened but they quickly clenched shut; the light hurt too much.

"_Bella_."

I ignored my name.

"This is the end of your first day. Be thankful. I've seen worse."

Through my pain, I couldn't grasp the words. For a second, I pondered the significance but then another seizing cramp of pain rolled me under.

My lungs felt as though they were being clenched in hard fists. I sucked in oxygen but felt I could never get enough; I was suffocating. The thought sent me into a mild panic, my body thrashing around in fear; someone had to hold me down for a while until I relaxed again.

A strange sensation sizzled from my chest down to my belly… almost like a painful tickle. My heartbeats sounded strange, even to me.

What was happening? Why was it taking me so long to die?

I got lost in the pain once more, losing track of all around me. I noticed a man lingering by me a few times but I ignored him. I didn't care who or what he was.

The minutes stretched on into hours. I felt like a heavy stone being dropped into endless darkness. Diamonds flashed in my vision, each one as painful and as bright as the last. I wondered if this was hell.

Memories of Edward flood back. I saw him laughing with me in the meadow, glittering like a god in the sun. I thought of his cold, hard body pressed against mine the first night he stayed over. I remember how he loved the color blue against my skin. I thought about when he kissed me goodbye before he left.

Another ripple of agony sent me into convulsions. My heart was somehow louder now and yet it sounded like it was slowing. My ears were roaring; it sounded like I was under water. I briefly wondered if I was. I couldn't recall _where_ I was anymore.

Who was I again? I could barely remember my name. Where was I? Was I dead?

A wave of pain ended my thoughts and I gave in, not allowing my brain to think anymore.

And then suddenly it stopped. I was Bella again.

The tortuous, inexplicable pain finally ceased. I felt like dancing. I was finally dead!

But then I looked around at my surroundings and noticed I was in a damp, dark room alone. I could hear scratches of sound all around me but I didn't understand. My throat burned in a sensation I'd never felt before. It was excruciating and yet numb at the same time. I forced down a swallow and marveled at the feeling. It reminded me of a time I had strep throat as a kid. It was almost like velvet coated my throat.

I realized this was the room Aro had led me in before. Now, however, I could make out every minute detail. Had a mysterious light been added in, unbeknownst to me? I doubted it; it was a small, bare room with no windows. I'd see a lamp.

I dismissed the thought, figuring that I had previously been too caught up with my impending death to truly observe my surroundings.

Again, I took note of my pesky throat. I had to get a glass of water _soon_.

Something was nagging at me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

The most important question of the entire situation reverberated though my mind which made me want to cry out in frustration more than anything else.

_Why was I _still _alive?_

* * *

**Aro POV**

The child had requested death. I knew I was fully within my rights to carry out the law and swiftly deal with her termination. But for the first time in a long time, I felt legitimate affection for her. She was an innocent little child, stranded and hurt.

I saw into the depths of her brown, liquid eyes and noticed how she looked at Edward with unadulterated longing. I felt the block of her mind and marveled at her strange ability. I knew she was capable of great things. How she eluded our talents was beyond me.

I was intrigued by her. I found myself thinking of what a fascinating addition she would be to us. Her talent, whatever it ending up being, would undoubtedly be extremely helpful in our pursuits. But she had been so decidedly against becoming one of us that I wondered how I'd ever be able to coerce her into joining… willingly.

Certainly, she wouldn't desire to live with the Cullen family. She appeared to be quite devastated because of their unexplained abandonment. Maybe it would be easier, then, to convince her to stay. I certainly knew how to be convincing. And once she saw that everything she wished would only be at her fingertips, how could she deny me? Whatever she wanted, I'd be happy to oblige. Bella would be my child, my woman, my jewel.

I chuckled to myself when I was informed that she had awakened. She was going to be furious. I had not done what I promised to do. I spared Isabella and turned her into a creature of darkness, against her will. But someday she'd thank me and I was determined to make it soon.

* * *

**EPOV**

I gave up tearing down the door an hour or so ago. It was of no use now. I had my back against the wall, contemplating where it all went wrong. I knew who was to blame. Me. If I hadn't been so arrogant in thinking I knew what everyone deserved, I could have allowed myself to be happy for a long, long time.

Instead, I ruined it. In the process, I broke the only creature I'd ever loved. I broke up my family. I broke my heart.

And now she was dying, if not dead already. _All because of me_.

My thoughts ceased functioning. I was no longer present. I just sat there, slumped, waiting for merciful death to take me.

Alice suddenly stopped her incessant sobbing and looked over at me, her eyes incredulous.

Her eyes glazed over and I knew she was having a vision. Whatever it was, I didn't care to see it. I blocked out all thoughts and focused instead on the blood-stained stone floor.

A heavy weight clasped my shoulder. I looked up into Carlisle's sympathetic eyes.

"I'm sorry, Edward," he whispered. "I wish there was more I could do."

_We couldn't stop her _he whispered in his mind, his tone sad and quiet.

I said nothing, fixing my gaze on the floor instead.

"Shouldn't we leave now?" Rosalie asked quietly.

I saw Carlisle nod, but he was still staring at me. "We should."

"I'm not leaving," I muttered.

Carlisle opened his mouth to respond but was quickly distracted.

With a shudder, Alice came back to the present. I looked over at her and was surprised to see her standing there with a grin on her face.

"Alice? What is it?" Carlisle sounded panicked; he thought she had lost her mind.

_I can't lose _another_ child_, Carlisle sobbed in his head. I felt a small pang of remorse but it evaporated. At that stage, I truly was devoid of nearly all emotions.

Alice walked over to me quickly, crouching down and hugging me fiercely.

"She's alive," she whispered in my ear. The rest of my family looked at one another, confused expressions matching my own. "Aro turned her. He couldn't bear to kill her. He finds her too interesting."

I met her eyes. Elation washed over me. Any qualms I'd had about Bella turning into one of us were quickly forgotten. As long as she existed, that was all that mattered.

And to think that now she was like me- unbreakable, immortal. I needed to see her. I needed to hold her and beg her for forgiveness and never let go again.

The dead organ I'd once called my heart almost throbbed with joy and love. For the first time since I'd said those disgusting words to Bella in the forest, I felt happy. Complete. We would have another chance to love again. _I_ would have another chance.

I jumped up to my feet and returned Alice's hug with enthusiasm. Emmett laughed joyfully and embraced Esme, practically jumping with excitement.

_She was alive!_

I stepped back from Alice's arms, looking expectantly at Carlisle, waiting for whatever plan he had in mind to save her. I was surprised to see a somber expression darkening his face.

"He's not going to let her _go_, Edward."


	12. Conscience

**Yay we finally have a Shane POV here! Enjoy and review, review, review!**

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* * *

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**EPOV**

I stared at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Carlisle shared a glance with Esme. "He turned Bella for his own reasons. He probably wants her to join him."

I snorted. "She'd never want to be a part of _this_." I gestured around me to the blood-splattered tiles.

A guard hissed at me but I ignored him.

"She might not have a choice, Edward," Carlisle said softly. "When she… wakes up, she's not going to be Bella… right away. She's going to be a newborn. Aro is wonderful at persuading people to do what he wants. How else do you think he manages this?"

"Not Bella," I whispered, shaking my head. "She's different. She'll wake up and-"

"Edward," Emmett interrupted, "it doesn't matter. Even if she goes with them at first, we'll take her away."

I nodded, already making plans in my head.

Carlisle shook his head and grabbed my shoulder. "You don't understand. He considers her to be his now. He'll never let her out of his sight!"

I watched my father shake with rage and sadness. I'd never seen him like this before.

_You haven't witnessed the things I have, Edward. Trust me. _

His words started slowly sinking in. "What do we do?" I whispered.

_I don't know. I was thinking we could request the Denali clan's help but I don't know how eager they would be to stand up against the Volturi. If they won't help us, I'll continue to appeal to Aro. We'll figure out how to take care of this, my son. Promise me you won't do anything rash._

I nodded my head but said nothing. I couldn't promise that.

Alice froze with another vision; Bella was waking up. It was short and when it was over, her eyes met mine.

_Bella is going to wake up in another day. We have to leave now. We'll be back tomorrow, I promise._

"I'm waiting here," I growled.

_If you want them to kill you, go right ahead. You can't help her out here, Edward._

"That's why I'm going _in _there!"

She shook her head at me. _Just trust me. I already know how we can sneak in tomorrow. It won't be easy but I see us making it to her._

"What else do you see?" I demanded, darting over to her.

_That's it. It'll get clearer soon. But we have to go._

"But we'll be back," I whispered.

"Come on, everyone," Carlisle ordered, walking out.

I looked back at the door, remembering how Bella looked the last time I saw her, broken and battered. I shuddered with guilt, ashamed of my actions.

Alice tugged on my arm and led me out.

I vowed to myself that I was going to get her out of here. She was mine and we'd be together again. Forever.

* * *

**BPOV**

I heard the distinct rattling of keys and stood up from the cot.

Aro walked through and watched me curiously as he shut and locked the door behind him.

"You're awake!" he cried delightedly. "I've been looking forward to this. How do you feel? Do you remember who I am?"

"Why am I still alive?" I demanded, shaking with anger and confusion. "I don't understand."

"Bella, my dear, sit down. You're shaking."

I sat and glared at him. He laughed at my expression and reached his hand out to stroke my cheek. I flinched. Then I noticed something odd; he didn't feel cold to me.

"You _are_ dead, my sweet." Aro looked at me sympathetically and continued to stroke my cheek.

My lower lip started to tremble. "What?" I whispered.

I listened for my heartbeat. I couldn't hear one. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself for the tears to come any minute but they wouldn't. I knew I was crying; I could feel the sobs. I could even feel my eyes fog up- but no tears came. And then, as I heaved in another deep breath, I realized what had been nagging me since I woke up. I didn't need to breathe.

"Oh, my God," I whispered, closing my eyes.

"I've changed you, Bella. I couldn't watch you throw away your talents."

"My talents?" I hissed, leaping up and away from him. "My _talents_? What are you _talking_ about?"

"I haven't a doubt in my mind that you're going to be a gifted addition to my beloved counsel," he said calmly.

His words registered in my mind and all I was left with inside was complete and utter shock.

"I can't possibly join the Volturi."

"Why's that?" he asked, his ruby eyes glittering with amusement.

"Where are the Cullens?" I asked anxiously, my voice rising in panic.

"They've left."

I stumbled back onto the cot. They'd left me again. This time, they left me in Aro's arms to become a monster. I wasn't sure why I was surprised.

My hands were shaking. I looked down and saw the paleness glitter in the light. I felt my face; the features that were once familiar to me felt like jagged stone. I had wanted this once, back when I was loved by Edward. Back when I was sure that I belonged to him as he belonged to me.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was _supposed _to be Edward's mate. More importantly, I was _supposed_ to be with my loving family- not a coven of vicious murderers.

Now I was alone and doomed to live for eternity this way. Why was I always being left behind? Why was I so unwanted?

"Let me be your family, Bella," Aro purred, sitting beside me. "I can show you the world. I can teach you things no one else knows. Anything you want is yours."

He ran his fingers through my hair. "Let me be your guide, your friend. Dont you want to be taken care of, Bella? Don't you want to be where you're safe and wanted?"

My head hurt. It was all too much too fast. I hardly knew who I was anymore.

I looked him in the eye and took a deep breath. He was all I knew now. How would I ever make it on my own?

"What is your decision, Bella?" he asked, smiling at me.

* * *

**SPOV**

I sat in my dusty hotel room that was adorned with 50's style furniture, watching the news but hardly paying attention. I didn't pay attention to anything anymore.

The "Have you seen this girl?" section came up and I saw her face staring back at me. Her father was pleading with her captors to let her go, tears falling down his face. Her mother was practically a zombie; she never spoke to the press. The media outlets were covering the story diligently and I watched every second of it. Each time I saw her face, it broke me a little more. I was responsible for this.

When the fuck had I grown a conscience? When did I grow a _soul_?

She was a child, a mere insignificant human. So what difference did it make?

The problem was that ever since I'd handed Bella off to the notoriously violent Paul, I'd felt sick.

Being a liar and being evil were traits that came natural to those of my kind. We were taught nothing else. We existed only as guardians and servants of the Volturi. Trained to be the most vicious kinds of fighters, we never had a chance to feel anything for our victims. Our prey.

That all changed, of course, when I got the assignment to stalk and kidnap Bella Swan. The whole "pretending to be a teen" and "befriending thing" had been my idea. I watched her with Paul the first few weeks after the Cullens left, fascinated by her behavior. I told Paul I thought it would be easier to lure her away if I pretended to be her friend. I also added that it would be more cruel, just for his benefit. The truth was I just wanted to be close to her.

It sounded so ludicrous, even to my own ears, but I knew it was true. Beings of my kind never desire companionship, never feel anything. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. Why did I want to be around this stupid girl that had caused so much trouble? I knew she had to be destroyed; she knew too much. Why would I be interested in someone so incredibly naïve? So boring?

I didn't know the whys or the hows. I only knew that some indescribable force drew me to her and I couldn't resist it. She was so cute and shy when I first met her. I would sneak through her window and watch as she slept, sketching her form. I'd also draw her as she sat in class or at lunch. I told myself it was out of boredom but I couldn't be sure that was the real reason. I shared my hobbies with her, my music. She seemed so delighted that it swelled me with satisfaction, knowing someone else enjoyed what I did. Paul taunted me whenever he saw me but I ignored it and did my best to push any unpleasant feelings away. I thought up ways to be cruel to her, trying to remind myself of the real reason I was in her company. I kept telling myself she was a passing amusement and that I enjoyed her company only because of the thrill of the chase. I was lying.

Ever since I'd left her, I couldn't stop thinking about her. The feelings I suppressed during that time overtook me and nearly suffocated me with their intensity. The bottom line was that I _liked_ Bella Swan. She wasn't like everyone else- she was so incredibly innocent, selfless and accepting. Quite a rare commodity for such a selfish species. I could understand why Edward threw the rule book out the window and pursued a relationship with her. I didn't like her _that_ way, but I could understand the desire to be close to her.

Paul flew into the hotel room, disturbing my thoughts. He was grinning and practically jumping up and down like a little girl.

"They promoted us! They loved our work, especially yours. They appreciated your evil twist." He winked at me. "She really liked you there for a bit, Shane. Gotta hand it to ya! You were right all along."

"Have they taken care of her yet?" I asked nonchalantly. I was dying inside.

Paul shrugged, adjusting his hair in the mirror. "Who cares?" He spun around, his entire face brightening with mischief. "Hey, you want to go out tonight and get some girls to come back here?"

"That's the last thing I want to do," I groaned.

"Look, we can kill them when we're done and-"

"No!"

He shook his head at me. "You're such a prude."

"Please don't kill anyone tonight," I said.

"Why not?" Paul's face was twisted with confusion.

I shrugged. "It's no big deal to me but I'd just prefer to go under the radar until we get out of the area."

He rolled his eyes at me and plopped down on the sofa. Sighing, he grabbed the remote out of my hand. "You're _such_ a prude."

I shook my head.

"What's the point of being an evil monster if you're not evil?" he joked, laughing his head off.

"You're a moron," I growled.

"Whatever," he said, lifting his hands up in mock submission. "Whatever you say, dearest." He chuckled some more to himself. "Well, I'm putting on some porn, at least."

I moaned and stood. "I'll be out on the balcony."

"You're getting soft, Shane!" he called out just before I slammed the door.


	13. Decision

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**I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed- you have no idea how it's been cheering me up lately. A special thanks to JMaire, since I can't write you back. That was exactly what I was thinking, my dear; I couldn't have articulated it better myself! I like your ideas, too, and the Cullen's won't be forgiven so easily. Thanks to all the other anonymous reviewers, too.**

**This is shorter than my other chapters but I wanted to get this out because I don't have anything else written right now and it might be a few more days until I can post (unless I keep procrastinating everything else I have to do). **

**Anyway, enjoy and please review! **

P.S. Just a random question... What do you all think of some lemons? I was considering writing some, despite their difficulty. Do you think I should do them as side accompanying pieces or can I include them here?

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**Alice POV**

"Quickly!" I called out, tugging Jasper along with me. The rest of my family ran along behind me.

Edward was soon in front of me, running in the direction I'd indicated.

"We need to get there _now_!" I screamed. If we didn't get there faster, we were going to get caught. I shivered remembering the details of _that_ particular vision.

We needed to save Bella and fast. I could only imagine what horrors she faced in Aro's presence. I needed to comfort her, apologize to her, hold her. She was my best friend, my sister. I'd hardly existed without her.

We _needed_ to save her.

I sighed with relief when the necessary corridor appeared before us.

_We're okay now, Edward_, I told him.

"This way!" I called out to the rest of my family.

Thank goodness for the guard that let his thirst distract him from his duties, otherwise this would have been impossible.

We slipped into the hallway and I closed my eyes, focusing on the vision.

_In a room down the hall to the right, Bella sits on a cot. Aro touches her face, asking her to join him. She takes in a breath and… agrees._

"_NO!_" I screamed. "HURRY, EDWARD!"

But he was already running. He flung open the door before I could reach him.

**BPOV**

As I opened my mouth to say "yes", the wooden door swung open. Edward stood there, panting and glaring at Aro.

"She's coming with us," he snarled. "She _belongs_ with us."

"She's _your_ property, now, is she?" Aro smirked.

"Yes." Edward looked at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm her creator," Aro said calmly, standing in front of me. "You all left her to die."

"Let's go, Bella," Edward demanded. I couldn't see him but I knew he was approaching us.

Aro's laugh made me gasp with fear. "Do you truly hold your existence in such contempt, my son, as to dare question my authority? This poor child behind me is not _property_."

"She's not evil, either."

Aro barked out a laugh again. "How delightful! You think I'm evil!"

"He doesn't mean it that way, Aro," Carlisle said, entering the room. I couldn't see him, either, but I could tell he was worried.

I stood up and walked from behind Aro.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked, concern etched on his face. He took in my appearance and frowned.

I looked down and saw that my clothes were tattered and bloody. The cot beside me was covered with my blood.

Edward growled with rage, noticing these things the same time as me. His eyes met mine and softened. He let them slowly take in my body in such a way that, if I'd still be human, would have made me blush wickedly.

"She's perfectly fine, Carlisle. She's in good hands now." Aro looked over at me lovingly. I fought the instinct to gag.

"Has she made a decision to stay with you?" Carlisle asked, his smooth mask in place.

Aro grinned. "We were actually getting to that point before your son intruded." He looked over at me, his eyes dancing with amusement, and said, "Bella, dear. Your decision?"

I took in a deep breath and looked over at Carlisle. He nodded at me but I couldn't tell what he was encouraging me to do. Did they even want me?

Edward sighed. I met his stare and nearly melted. He was so incredibly beautiful. Why couldn't he just love me? It would have made this so much easier. We could spend forever together. That's all I'd ever wanted. I remembered my thoughts just before I turned. What point was there to forever if it wasn't in his arms?

"Before you choose, Bella," Carlisle started, "know that you are always welcome in our family. We have always considered you a part of it and would love nothing more than for you to come back home with us. We love you. But, if you decide that you belong here, I will respect your decision. We all will."

Edward growled but said nothing.

Even if the Cullen's didn't want me, I couldn't stay here. I knew that much. I'd witnessed enough evil from them. I could leave with the Cullen's and then part from them when I was safe, out of Aro's hands.

I took in a deep breath and said the words I hoped I wouldn't regret.

"I'd like to go home… with the Cullen's."

I looked over and, though it might have been my vampire eyes tricking me, Edward looked elated. Carlisle seemed joyful as well, though he kept glancing over at Aro.

Aro was still watching me, his gaze making me increasingly uncomfortable. The silence after my decision stretched on. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet and stared at the wall.

Thankfully, Carlisle finally broke the silence. "Are we free to go, Aro?"

He turned his head to meet Carlisle's eyes before looking back at me, his face empty of emotion. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, "Isabella, you will always be welcome here. As a matter of fact, I request your presence here in two months so I can monitor your progress."

"My progress?" I squeaked.

He took a step towards me, smiling in a way that, if I was still alive, would have sent my heart pounding. "Bella, I turned you with the intention of utilizing your talent. This is what your existence is based upon. Naturally, I will be interested in how you turn out. We'll deal with whatever talent you possess when you visit."

Carlisle was staring at me, looking increasingly worried as Aro's words continued.

"I will ask you then to join my family, as well."

"And if her decision is the same?" Edward spat.

Aro grinned, eying me like I was his prey. In a way, I was. "Then it's the same."

He had skirted the question skillfully. I gulped and involuntarily took a step back.

"Well, we'll all be looking forward to seeing you in a couple of months, Aro."

Aro's head snapped in Carlisle's direction. "My friend, I would prefer it if Isabella came alone. This is of a personal nature."

Edward opened his mouth to say something but Carlisle grabbed his arm. It was obvious he was telling something with his mind. Edward's jaw clenched but he said nothing. His eyes met mine and immediately my face felt heated- somewhat of an impossibility in my current state- but he managed to make me feel like I was blushing regardless.

"Very well," Carlisle replied gravely. "Goodbye, Aro."

He walked out and Edward came over to me, hesitantly taking my hand. I didn't stop him; the look on Aro's face was enough incentive for me to stay put. As I walked past, Aro held out his arm and stopped me.

His eyes scanned my face. "Until we meet again," he muttered, kissing my forehead.

I suppressed the urge to gag again and managed a weak smile. I didn't get a chance to say anything, even if I wanted to, because Edward rushed me out.

The family was standing down the hall, watching us anxiously. When we got closer, they all appeared to sigh with relief collectively and even some of them attempted to smile.

"Bella," Alice whispered, looking desperately as though she wanted to pounce on me. I imagine my behavior beforehand made her think twice because she somehow refrained from tackling me.

Esme walked over to me cautiously. When it was obvious I wasn't going to run away or scream at her, she gingerly placed her hands on my arms and smiled.

"Welcome to the family."


	14. Comfort

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This chapter is huge. Be prepared.

**I might not be able to update again for a few days seeing as I'm moving out soon AND my wisdom teeth are currently making me howl in agony. If you can, leave me some reviews to cheer me up. I'm in a bad state (sob). I hope you all like it. Thanks to everyone who reads & to everyone who reviews. **

* * *

**BPOV**

I smiled weakly back at Esme. I didn't want to smile at all, but the kindness that floated in her topaz eyes made it difficult to be angry with her. She looped her arm around mine and started walking to what I assumed was the exit.

"Bella," Carlisle called, coming up beside me, "how are you handling the thirst? I think we should go hunting immediately once we're outside these walls."

I didn't answer, mainly because I wasn't sure if I was thirsty or not. My throat hurt but I didn't feel any _hunger_.

Jasper sensed my confusion and smiled faintly in my direction. "Is your throat sore? Does it feel dry?"

I nodded slightly.

"You're thirsty, then."

I said nothing in response, allowing Esme to continue to lead me out. The others walked behind us in silence. Everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts, as I was in mine.

I wasn't sure if I could handle living with the Cullen's. Carlisle and Esme were only being kind to me because they felt guilty and responsible for me. As for the others, who knew what their motivations were? All _I_ knew was that I had to get away from them and fast. I tried to think of where to go so that I'd be isolated and away from the temptation of humans. My mind drew a blank. It would certainly be prudent for me to stay with the Cullen's for a while to learn how to live the "vegetarian" lifestyle properly but Edward's sigh from behind me quickly doused that thought. How could I live with him, loving him every day without it ever being returned? What if he brought home another woman? The thought made me sick to my empty stomach, a feat I assumed was not easy for most vampires.

Jasper walked up beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "We're going to take care of you, Bella."

My body tensed at his touch and he quickly withdrew his hand. I kept my gaze focused on the unending hall ahead and nearly felt guilty when he pulled back to walk next to Alice again. I wasn't ready to play nice. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be. Even Esme- lovable, mothering Esme- had left me to rot back in Forks. It was going to take a long time for me to learn how to forgive her. To forgive all of them, really. I wasn't sure if it was ever going to be possible and the man behind me who continued to make impatient-sounding grunts convinced me that living with them was going to be torture.

Finally we reached a door that opened out into an alleyway. Carlisle turned back and took Esme's hand, leading the both of us outside behind him. Carlisle led us over to two beautiful rented cars that I of course could not identify and I climbed into the backseat as Esme slipped into the front.

Faster than my body could comprehend, Alice and Edward were hopping in on either side of me. I glanced at them both in horror before turning my head straight. I tried my best to ignore their stares and instead focused on different ways I could escape and where I could go. I noticed Carlisle looking at Edward through the rearview mirror and saw Edward nod out of the corner of my eye. I rolled my eyes, slightly amused that some things never change. His growl at one of Carlisle's obvious commands surprised me but I didn't let it show; instead I decided that I would go up to Canada, after all, and find someplace nice up there.

"Did you forget, Bella," Alice cut into my thoughts, "that I see the future?"

I didn't answer. I pictured myself rolling around in the snow with a new vampire boyfriend who looked exactly like Edward.

"I see all of your plans, Bella. We're not going to let you escape us and move up to Canada."

I scowled but refused to look at her. Edward slightly chuckled under his breath and I wanted to smack him right out of the car. He wasn't allowed to find me amusing anymore.

The drive to the woods was interminable, made worse by Edward and Alice's persistent stares. I didn't let Alice's words scare me; some way or another I was getting the hell away from them or else I'd end up being the first vampire dead from a heart attack. Or the first lunatic vampire- take your pick.

Carlisle smoothly turned off the car and in one graceful, fluid movement hopped out. I ignored how closely Edward and Alice stood next to me as we followed. I wanted to scream when the others joined us; instead of having two sets of eyes on me, I had all seven.

I felt the crisp leaves beneath my feet as I walked into the expanse of trees. A hand touched mine and I flinched away from the contact. My eyes slowly met Carlisle's and his expression nearly made me collapse. For the first time since I'd met him, Carlisle looked _hurt_.

He quickly recovered and once again let his cool mask slide over, a trick all the Cullen's seemed to possess. I had to teach myself when I got the chance.

"Edward and Emmett are going to go hunting with you, Bella. The rest of us will wait here. Will you be all right?"

I blinked at him. "I want to go alone."

"Someone needs to show you how, Bella," Esme said gently.

"I think I can figure it out."

I knew I was being a brat but I couldn't help it. I was a _vampire _now, for goodness sake. I didn't need protecting and I knew that this sort of thing was instinctual. Plus, the last thing I needed was Edward watching me as I sunk my deep teeth into something, effectively ending their life. It would be an all too clear reminder of why he left me in the first place.

Alice closed her eyes and when she opened them, she smiled. "Let her go alone. She'll be fine."

Carlisle looked unhappy but nodded, regardless. Edward, on the other hand, snarled.

"No way. What if she comes across a human?"

Alice snapped her head. "Are you questioning my ability, Edward?"

His jaw tensed but before he could speak, I cut in.

"Stop it," I sighed, staring down at the leaves. "If you're all so worried about it, then I'll take someone with me." I look up at everyone's faces. "Rosalie?"

Everyone practically gasped in surprise. Edward looked horrified.

"Bella, you really want_ Rose_ to go with you?"

I said nothing; I kept my gaze on her and willed her with my eyes to come with me. Rosalie I could handle. We never got along and she disliked me nearly as much as I disliked her. If any of the others came, it would be harder to remain a bitch. I was safest with her, knowing that a few hours in her presence would certainly cure me of any lingering feelings.

She looked me over, shocked. "You want _me _to go with you?"

"If you don't mind," I said calmly.

Alice whimpered and nearly broke my heart but I couldn't let my affection for her win. I didn't want to g running back into their arms. When they left again, I know I'd die. This was my defense mechanism.

Rosalie looked at the others before nodding in my direction. Alice whispered in her ear so quietly and quickly I couldn't hear. Rose looked at Edward and then at Carlisle before kissing Emmett goodbye. Without a word, she turned and started walking north. I followed silently, unfortunately passing by Edward whose smoldering gaze almost stopped me in my tracks. His amber eyes glittered as though they were lit from beneath and I knew he was begging me to let him come with him. I refused with my own glare. I fought back my smile when I saw his eyes harden; he was obviously coming to terms with the fact I needed alone time. I didn't want to hear any more of his lies and excuses. If he wanted to be rid of me so badly, I wouldn't resist. Sure, it would break my heart, but at least I could say goodbye to everyone this time.

I walked with Rosalie in silence for an hour before she suddenly turned to me, her eyebrows raised. "Okay, Bella. Tell me why."

"What?" I asked innocently.

Her eyes narrowed. "You know what. Why did you ask _me_ to take you?"

Sighing, I sat down on a large rock. I rubbed my hands together and reveled in the warm friction. I thought back to the day in the meadow. Edward had said how wonderful my warmth felt. I finally knew what he meant. Rose cleared her throat, obviously trying to bring me back into the moment. I cleared my own and studied the dirt beneath my feet.

"You don't like me," I said. It wasn't a question.

Rosalie snorted. "You asked me to take you on your first hunt because I don't like you? Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?"

I shrugged.

"Why, Bella?" she asked, softly this time.

I couldn't speak. My eyes traveled up to hers without my permission. Her expression was so sad and I knew in that moment she understood. I hadn't picked her with the intention of being understood but somehow that's what I got. Maybe I was destined to pick her for this little trip, after all. If I had been human, I would have started sobbing then.

When I didn't say anything, she took a step closer to me. "Have you hardened so much that you can't bear to be around those that love you?"

I flinched involuntarily. I'd gotten sick of Rosalie's ways but it still hurt when she threw her hatred in my face. She looked shocked when she saw my expression.

"I don't mean to say that I don't love you, Bella. I haven't always agreed with your decisions but my time away from you has opened my eyes to how much you mean to my family. My family is the most important thing to me and if they want you to be a part of it, how can I not?"

I said nothing. She still hated me; she just "accepted" me now. It didn't matter. As soon as I could get her to turn the other way, I was going to run off and be far away.

"I know why you asked me," she said, smiling sadly. "You don't want them to guilt you into forgiving them. I get that. But don't think that you're going to have it easy with me, Bella. Alice warned me that you were going to try and run off and I just can't allow that."

I groaned and rubbed my forehead. "I should have known."

"Come on, Bella. Let's hunt."

With a groan, I heaved myself off the rock and ran off with her.

* * *

**Alice POV**

I can't say that I didn't expect Bella's reaction, but it still hurt. It hurt because in the time that we were away, all I could think about was my first and only best friend who was probably tripping somewhere without me. I tried to focus on all the little things so that the bigger ones wouldn't hurt, like trying to focus on whatever hideous clothes she was probably wearing. Or I tried to imagine her being foced to go some party. At first it was a comfort and I didn't think about the hole inside me. Eventually, however, the trivial things started to become so significant that it broke my heart to think about them at all.

Bella didn't have me around to dress her up. I wasn't there to get her ready for any parties she might be forced into going to. I didn't have her to complain about Edward or to have a girl's night. I missed her scowl when I forced her to do something "girly". I missed the way her heart picked up whenever Edward was around or even when I just mentioned his name. I missed having a friend, a commodity I'd always been without. And then she was gone, just like that, and I never got a chance to say goodbye.

It seemed fitting somehow that she hated me now. I knew I deserved it; we all did. But I guess on some level we thought that Bella would just forgive us. I know it's so selfish to think that way but Bella had always been so incredibly selfless. She still was- we could all see that. But we'd hurt her so badly that we all worried we'd never be able to fix things again.

I can't begin to explain the hurt that I felt when she picked Rosalie to be her hunting companion. I knew she didn't do it to hurt me; she did it to shield herself from all of us. But the pain was still acute and I knew that we all felt it, too. Even Emmett's face fell.

Edward's face contorted into unbelievable anguish, somehow managing to look even more desolate. He kept begging me to peer into the future to see if Bella could ever forgive him but he knew I could never see that until she made a decision. Yet he persisted, desperate for anything to hold onto. He was terrified she wouldn't take him back and I can't say that I blamed him.

Jasper assured us all that he still felt love from her but would it be enough? I nearly laughed at all of her escape plans, knowing full well we could thwart most of them. But would we want to if that was what she clearly desired? We couldn't force her to live with us, no matter how much we wanted her to.

A howling Edward tore me from my thoughts. I looked up and saw him flinging a large branch into the woods.

"How long have they been gone?" he demanded, looking at Carlisle.

"Two hours. Relax, son."

Edward ignored him and started pacing again. He looked up at me expectantly, asking me silently for any insight. I shook my head.

_Sorry, Edward. I see them returning in another hour or so but that's the extent of it._

His shoulders sagged and my heart went out for him but I couldn't feel completely sympathetic. It was his decision, after all, that ended us all up at this point. It was _his _fault Bella hurt, it was _his_ fault she was now in the clutches of Aro, and it was _his_ fault she hated us all now.

He growled at me, clearly hearing my thoughts. I shrugged at him. It didn't matter to me if he knew.

A rustling in the trees alerted our senses and we all stood, sniffing the air. I picked up the familiar scents of Rosalie and Bella and smiled. They'd returned.

Rosalie slipped into the clearing, walking deliberately over to a waiting Emmett. Bella slipped in more smoothly, glancing at all of us anxiously before looking down at her feet. Her beauty took my breath away; I could only imagine what it did to Edward. Her eyes met mine and I was still astounded by them. They weren't the crimson red of other newborns; they were dark and nearly brown, like the color of cherry wood. She looked down quickly.

Edward started walking over to her and I watched in horror as she seemed to almost collapse in on herself. She wrapped her arms around her body and started panting.

_I don't think that's a good idea right now, Edward, _I warned him.

He paused and looked back at me.

_Give her time. Can't you see that you're making her uncomfortable?_

He looked shamed and I immediately felt guilty but it was the truth. Bella's comfort was a priority in my mind.

The most important thing to me right now was getting my best friend back.

* * *

**BPOV**

The hunt wasn't exactly as I expected. I thought that I'd still be present when I was in my predator form, but I was wrong. All of my animalistic senses came out and all I could focus on was prey. Nothing else mattered and if anything desirable got in my path, there was no question it would be mine.

I understood now why Edward had been so vehement about me not coming along on any of his hunting trips when I was a human.

_Edward._

I was still thinking about him when I faced them again. His intense stare made me look down and would have certainly made me blush if I were still human. I caught Alice staring at me, looking like a wounded puppy, and I had to fight to urge to run over and hug her.

"How was the hunt, Bella?" Carlisle asked kindly.

"Good, thank you," I answered politely.

"Did you have a bear, Bella?" Emmett asked, grinning at me.

"No." My tone was flat and I was sure my face was completely blank. His smile fell and I instantly felt remorse. I couldn't be mad at Emmett any more than I could be mad at Alice. "I had some deer," I added as an afterthought, a small way to make it better. "About four."

"She chased them all by herself and everything," Rosalie laughed. She even looked… proud.

"Well, alright!" Emmett cheered, smacking me enthusiastically on my arm.

"Do you feel sated, Bella?"Carlisle asked. His gaze was still on Edward.

I looked over and saw him still staring at me, his eyes scorching with some indecipherable emotion. I swallowed hard; he looked so sexy. I felt a different kind of hunger now and I didn't like it one bit.

"Yes," I said, prying my eyes from the beautiful god across from me.

"How are we going to get her on a plane without her massacring everyone in sight?" Jasper asked, eyeing me like I was about to go postal.

"I've already taken the liberty of purchasing us a home in England. We're going to drive through France and then get a private boat to cross the water." Carlisle stopped speaking and looked at me with an almost amused expression on his face. "Alice told me that you plan on leaving us, but since I took the trouble of buying us an expensive home in a secluded location _especially_ for you, I really hope you'll stay with us. I know how much you hate wasted money."

Emmett snickered at me and Alice grinned. Edward nearly smiled, too, looking somewhat amused since the first time I saw him again. Even Esme was smirking. They had me and they knew it.

I sighed heavily. "Fine."

Carlisle's face lit up and he smiled so brilliantly that I knew it was worth it. "Thank you, Bella. Let's go."

**SPOV**

I knew what I was going to do was stupid. I should be staying clear of the Volturi, no matter how much they seemed to appreciate my last job. I was asking for trouble going to see them like this but I couldn't help it.

I was led down by a scrawny looking vampire, one of the only unattractive ones I'd ever laid eyes on. He opened the door to their chamber for me and then wobbled away.

Before I entered I took in a deep breath, going over what I was going to say in my head. I walked in and immediately was greeted by the overwhelming scent.

"Shane! How brilliant it is to see you!" Aro exclaimed, rushing over to stand in front of me. "My brothers will be delighted to know you're here… Caius, Marcus… Look who's here!"

The two vampires merely grunted at me before resuming their conversations.

"How can I help you today?" Aro asked me politely.

"Well," I began uncomfortably, "I was wondering what eventually… happened to Bella Swan."

Aro's face darkened with an emotion I couldn't recognize before he forced a smile on his face. "She became one of us."

"What?!" I cried out. "I thought you wanted to kill her!"

He shrugged gracefully at me. "Would you rather I had?"

I stayed silent.

Sighing, he sat down on an elaborately designed chair and motioned for me to sit in the one across from him.

"Why are you so interested?" he asked. "Have you grown attached?"

"I was just curious," I replied, hoping I didn't sound too panicked.

Aro smiled again. I should have known better; he saw through everyone.

"She's alive and well. Actually, I guess I can't say 'alive'. I decided she was going to have some great talent and I refused to kill her. You know about her blocking skills."

I wanted to see her very badly to find out if she truly was still alive but I didn't know how to go about it. Would she want to see me? I betrayed her when she was in an incredibly fragile state. I wasn't even sure what I wanted from her. I just knew I wanted to see her for one last time.

"Can I help you with anything else?" he asked patiently.

"May I see her?" My voice was timid.

He laughed heartily, shaking his head. "She's no longer here."

"You let her leave?" I was confused. Aro never let his newborns go.

"For the time being," he said cryptically.

"Well, where is she now?"

He smirked at me. "The Cullen's took her. She decided to leave with them, actually, in a moment of weakness."

I stared at him, confusion evident on my face. She hated them; why would she want to go back and live with them?

Aro calmly reached out and took my hand in his. He froze, reading my thoughts, before looking at me and smiling softly.

"I know that I said she was gone but I never said she was gone for good."

If it was possible, I was beginning to feel even more confused.

"I have a plan and I need your assistance. Can I count on you?"

His ruby eyes bore into mine and, even if I was not so attached, I still would have consented. I nodded my head at him.

"What's the plan?"

* * *

**BPOV**

We stopped for gas a few hours after the hunt. I watched in amusement as Alice tinkered around with the gas nozzle. It was interesting to me for some reason to see a beautiful, graceful vampire make such an ordinary activity absolutely riveting.

Edward was off sulking somewhere, joined by Emmett and Rose. Carlisle was inside the convenient store and Esme was standing just outside the car. I decided to run over to the phone booth with everyone's attention diverted.

I reached it and turned back to see if anyone noticed. I sighed in relief when I saw that no one stirred. I hesitantly picked up the phone and dialed the number that I still knew my heart.

"Hello?"

Charlie's voice sounded utterly broken; it twisted my heart. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Hello?" he repeated, sounding dead. "Who is this?"

I tried to speak but a squeak came out instead.

"Bella?" he asked in a soft, urgent tone. "Bella, baby, is that you?"

I looked up and watched as Jasper, Edward, and Alice cautiously took steps to the phone booth. The rest of the family stood back and watched me.

"Talk to me," my father pleaded. "I just want to hear your voice."

Edward now stood just outside the booth. He put his hand up to rest on the glass and stared at me with a blank expression that just hinted at the pain underneath. Thunder sounded out and it began to pour. I watched in fascination as the beads of rain slowly drifted down his hair, nose, lips, chin onto his jacket. His stare darkened in intensity. His eyes begged me for something that I wasn't sure I could give.

"Bella?!" Charlie cried out again, reminding me what I was doing.

"It's me, Dad," I said calmly, never taking my eyes off of Edward's.

"I don't believe you," Charlie said firmly. "You don't sound like Bella."

"I know," I said sadly. "I can't call you again."

"Bella-"

"Just know that I'm alive," I said softly, fighting back the sobs that threatened to overtake me.

I hung up the phone before I was tempted to say anymore. Edward's gaze never left mine. His hand still rested on the glass and he was now drenched. The sobs started, then; I couldn't control them. The first one bubbled up and surprised me. A few more slipped out and suddenly I was shaking with them. My hand reached up involuntarily to rest against Edward's, a silly piece of glass separating us from an actual touch.

All I knew then was that I needed him. I needed to be comforted and he was the only one that could manage it.

With a deep breath, I pushed open the door and joined him in the rain. It was pouring now, washing me clean of the dirt and blood that remained from the hunt. He watched the raindrops trickle down my body as I'd watched his. The sobs were more satisfying now; I could pretend the drops on my face were tears.

His eyes kissed my face as he raked them over my features. He took in an unsteady breath and stepped closer to me. I wanted to step back but some indescribable force kept me rooted to the spot. When I gave it more thought, I realized it wasn't so indescribable; it was just Edward.

In an action so fast that my vampire eyes hardly picked it up, his hand shot out and gripped the front of my shirt to pull me in closer to him. The rain was caught in his eyelashes and fell onto his cheeks like the tears I'd imagined them being before. His other hand slowly came up to my face and traced the lines, memorizing my features. Every inch seemed to be fascinating to him.

I never saw him look so beautiful.

I watched his loving, awed look turn into one of determination as he slowly but deliberately leaned into my face. So gently that I barely felt it at all, he pressed his lips onto mine.

And just like that, everything melted.

All my anger, my pain, my hurt. With one simple kiss in the rain, everything I'd bottled up was erased. All that was left now was want. And need. And love.

Flames lapped at my very soul. My legs shook with undeniable pleasure and I wondered why it had taken me so long to kiss him. I'd forgotten how amazing it was.

He reluctantly pulled back and met my eyes again. A smile threatened his mouth but he somehow reigned it in. His tongue lapped out to taste what I'd left on his lip and the smile finally won, lighting up his face with such brilliance that a smile played on my own face. He bit his lip, an action that nearly made me jump him with his entire family watching, and unclasped his fingers from my shirt. I stepped away only to have his hand capture mine. He tugged me closer and walked back to the car.

Everyone had left us in our private moment and now sat waiting for us in the cars. He opened the door for me but stopped me before I got in. With his eyes he begged for my forgiveness and I hoped he saw it in mine.

He kissed the top of my head and placed his lips onto my ear. His breath fanned out and I could taste him on my tongue. He started whispering something to me but, being in the position I was in, I could hardly make anything out. All I knew was that his lips were touching me. The one murmur I did hear made me smile for the first time in a long time.

"I love you. _Forever_."

* * *

**It's unfortunately not going to be all roses, especially if Aro has his say (oy). The plot's definitely going to be picking up next chapter... Stay tuned.**


	15. Not the Point

**Hey, guys! It's taken me forever to write such a little chapter, mainly due to me having my tooth out & being groggy from painkillers... not to mention going back to school & unpacking, etc. Sorry for the delay & for such a short chapter... Classes start Monday so I'm hopefully going to get one fantastically massive chapter out before then... Before all the work starts (oy!). **

**Thanks for the reviews & for the well wishes with my wisdom tooth. Worst experience ever. Of course I also have to get the other three out. Ughhh! **

**My bad luck continues... I have a disgusting stomach virus. Please leave me some reviews to make me feel better! Please?**

**Haha, anyway- I hope you all enjoy!**

**BPOV**

A week later, we found ourselves in a suitable cottage in the English countryside. It was truly beautiful and isolated from civilization; certainly an ideal spot for us.

The week had definitely been strange. Thank goodness most of it involved travelling, hunting, and avoiding humans; otherwise I would have been forced to talk to Edward about what our kiss "meant".

He'd been hovering over me lately, waiting for a chance to talk to me about our relationship. I was clever at getting away, feigning thirst or restlessness. Sometimes I just blatantly ran away from him. He let me be, for the most part, but Alice certainly didn't.

As soon as we were set up in our rooms, Alice was barging into mine. In her haste, she knocked over a box of knick-knacks Esme had bought for me.

"Hey!" I cried in outrage, dropping the book I'd been reading in shock.

"Isabella Marie Swan… What is your _deal_?"

I blinked at her. This was the first time we'd spoken since we came back from Italy. Usually she shot me apologetic glances or sad smiles. This newfound anger was sudden and rare and I found myself getting angry.

"What are you talking about?"

She sat down on the bed next to me and ignored my wince. "When are we going to be friends again?" Her tone had turned softer but an edge to it let me know she meant business.

That was good old Alice- straightforward and blunt. I fidgeted on my bed.

"Alice, I-"

"I love you, Bella. You're my best friend and my sister. Can we _please _move past this?"

Her eyes were wide and pleading and she wore the adorable pout that even Carlisle couldn't bear to see.

"Alice, you're not being fair!" I whined.

She grinned at me and jumped up. "You forgave me!"

Before I could say anything more, she pounded on me. "I saw it. You were going to say 'I love you, too'."

"I hate having a fortune-teller as a sister…" I sighed theatrically.

Alice stepped back from me and smiled. "You really think of me as your sister?"

"Of course I do. That's why it hurt so badly when you… left." Her heartbroken face nearly sent me sobbing. "But that's all in the past now," I added quickly, "and I forgive you." I kissed the tip of her nose and smiled.

"Thanks, Bella," she said, smiling softly. "Is it all in the past now for Edward, too?"

My cheerful expression quickly faded.

"I know it's none of my business but I _am_ your sister, after all, and I just don't want to see you-"

"I don't want to talk about this, Alice," I said, gritting my teeth.

She shook her head at me. "You still love him, Bella. I know you do." Shaking her head once more, she walked out and left me with my thoughts.

_That's not the point, Alice_.

**EPOV**

One week. One miserable, unending week since I'd last felt Bella's lips on mine. I could hardly understand how I was still managing to smile, let alone _stand _every day. To have a taste of heaven and then have it ripped away is the most excruciating kind of punishment. The only reason why I get up every day and force myself to smile is because I know that I deserve this. I deserve every single second of this torture, even if it lasts for eternity. The sick part is that I enjoy it because it still allows me to be close to her.

She'd been avoiding me since we kissed. I can't say that I blame her. She was having a weak and emotional moment and I took advantage. If she didn't completely detest me before, she did now.

Alice kept trying to assure me that Bella still loved me and that in a matter of time she'd come around but with every tick of the taunting clock, I am more and more convinced she won't change her mind.

What will I do then?

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**Don't worry- it's not going to be a "back-and-forth" soap-opera thing. Bella's going to forgive everyone, including Edward(obviously), next chapter. **


	16. The Talk

**It's been too long! It took me forever to get this out, mainly because I didn't have a free second to myself to write it out. Being back at school is the pits. **

**I'm going to try to update more frequently again. **

**I hope you all enjoy.**

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**BPOV**

A few more days passed after my reconciliation with Alice. I hadn't yet spoken to Edward, though I could tell by his sometimes frustrated stares that he was more than eager to speak to me. Alice would occasionally toss a disparaging look in my direction or voice her disappointed thoughts to me in a low hush, but she kept it light. For Alice, anyway. She was still treading softly in my presence, terrified to make a wrong move that would send me running. All of the Cullens were acting like that, actually. I couldn't blame them.

I wanted to say that I'd never leave them. I knew they were my family in every sense of the word and I knew that if I were to ever venture off on my own, I'd feel incredibly incomplete. But still, the thought of embarking out on my own for a while tugged at me on a daily basis. The only thing that stopped me was the threat of running into humans without anyone to hold me down.

Sometimes, I'd catch both Edward and Alice staring at me at the same time, a look of horror splashed upon both faces. I would know instantly then that Alice had seen my wavering plans of leaving and Edward had watched them play out in her mind. I didn't work to hide my plans; if I were to leave, I'd do it in a better way than they had.

Things couldn't go on this way; I knew that. It tore me apart every time I looked over at Edward and caught him watching me. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him and beg him to never leave me again. But I couldn't.

**EPOV**

"How long, Alice?!" I demanded, slamming my fist on Jasper's desk. "How long will she be angry with me?"

"Hey!" Jasper cried out in outrage. "Please don't break _another_ one of my desks!"

I shot him an apologetic glance.

Alice sighed and shook her head. "I told you already, Edward. The visions I have of her fluctuate so often that it's hard to even get an _idea_ of her future."

"She's insufferable," I barked, shaking my head.

_Can you blame her, Edward? You're such a fool, sometimes._

"Thank you, Rosalie," I murmured to the ridiculous vampire downstairs. She snorted and her thoughts went back to the magazine she was reading.

"She'll be back from hunting in a half hour, Edward," Alice whispered. "If you're going to do what you want to do, you'd better do it right away."

Alice opened her vision to me, partially, and allowed me to see Bella's smiling face- a sight I'd been longing to see the most.

"So it will work?" I asked excitedly.

"According to that vision," Alice said cheerfully, but we both knew it was artificial. Alice knew better than the rest of us how unstable time and the future can be. She placed her hand comfortingly on my arm and squeezed gently. "It will work out, Edward. She loves you."

"I can feel it, brother," Jasper agreed.

He had offered this piece of comfort to me before but I always listened to his words warily. Bella was the most frustratingly magnificent creature on this otherwise boring planet. It wouldn't surprise me if her feelings were as elusive and difficult to read as she was in general.

I decided to spend the longest half hour of my life reading. I read the same sentence over twenty times before deciding it was a hopeless cause.

I hopped off the sofa and went in search of Alice, who was of course waiting for me in the living room.

"Forget it, Edward," she greeted me, never taking her eyes from the fashion show on TV.

I knew that she was right but I couldn't help it. My eyes narrowed and my tone took on an accusatory edge. "And why can't I do it?"

Alice looked toward me and eyed me sadly. "She'll leave instantly."

I said nothing. All I could manage was a nod and Alice turned back to the TV, her eyes glazing over as she thought of other things besides the fetching yellow dress floating down the runway.

I left her to her thoughts and once again climbed up the stairs to my room. I counted the seconds, minutes until Bella's return from hunting. Just when it seemed that I was about to go mad with expectation, I caught a hint of her scent. A few moments later I could hear her running gently through the trees.

With as much speed as I could manage, I flew downstairs and out the door into the green expanse.

**BPOV**

The blood of the four deer I'd devoured just twenty minutes before sloshed around unhappily as I ran. It was funny; I was no longer human and yet I still managed to get stomach aches.

I wasn't far from the house now and already the dread descended. Back to Alice's puppy eyes. Back to the agonizing questions in Edward's. Back to being me.

In the trees, away from civilization, I allowed the beast to take over. For some blissful moments, I was a carnivore, a predator, an animal. I wasn't Bella Swan, once feeble human who had her heart broken by gorgeous vampire.

I heard some twigs snap and I immediately paused, scanning through the scents in the air. I smelled all of the Cullens but one in particular was strongest and closest to where I was standing.

I hated having to address him but what else was I supposed to do? He was obviously watching me.

"You can come out, Edward," I said exasperatedly.

He stepped out sheepishly from behind some trees not too far ahead.

"What are you doing?" I asked, fighting off the odd twinge of amusement I felt.

He must have heard the smile in my voice because the concern on his face faded and a brilliant grin broke out instead.

_Oh, brother. And he once said that _I'd _be the death of _him_._

He stared back at me silently.

"Well?" I huffed impatiently.

Taking a cautious step towards me, he finally spoke. "We need to talk."

I flinched. "I have nothing to say."

"_I _do," he clarified.

"I don't have to listen," I pointed out.

He took a few more steps in my direction. Now our faces weren't more than a foot away from each other.

"No," he agreed, "but I could make you." He smiled crookedly and I was once brought back to the memories of our high school in Forks, when he sat across the cafeteria table from me and watched me as I slept and drove us around in his sparkling Volvo. Back when he loved me and everything was amazing.

He noted the change in expression on my face and swallowed.

"I was kidding, Bella," he said quickly. "Obviously I wouldn't… force you… to listen to me if you didn't want to. I just have _so much to say to you_ and I don't know where to begin. I'm begging you." His eyes smoldered. "As an old friend."

I gritted my teeth in frustration. "You're not going to let me get away without speaking to you, are you?"

His grin slid back into place. "No."

I sighed. "Very well. Let's get this over with."

**EPOV**

She agreed! I thought she'd argue with me for at least a few more minutes. Alice's vision didn't specify; I just knew she'd eventually break down.

"Where do you want to do this?" Bella asked, looking over my head.

"Let's walk back a little farther away," I suggested.

She nodded and spun around, walking back to where she'd come.

I kept a fair distance behind her, terrified to threaten some boundary she'd set up.

She led us to a beautiful cliff that hung over a graceful looking part of the ocean. She turned around slowly, as though she were about to hear her death sentence, and bit her lip. God, Bella was beautiful.

She stared at me expectantly and I took a deep breath, calming myself for the conversation that would either bring us together or tear us even further apart.

**BPOV**

Just when I thought that he was never going to speak again, Edward opened his mouth.

"I suppose I should start with the beginning and move forward from that point, but for some reason I feel an underlying sense of urgency to this conversation and I feel it is more important to start with the most significant and, fittingly enough, most important part." He heaved in another breath and captured my gaze with his. For a moment, I was once again transported back to Forks. He was dazzling me, and effectively so.

"I love you, Bella. More than… every light in the sky or drop of water in the ocean. I love you."

I started shaking my head, an involuntary reaction to his words, but his growl cut my head shake short. He flew over to me, startling me for a second.

"I love you," he growled fiercely, taking a hold of my shoulders so that I could not move away. "I messed up more than just my life when I left you. I know that all too well. I destroyed my family and took away a most beloved daughter and sister. Everyone was so… heartbreakingly devastated afterwards. But I selfishly couldn't see their pain, or even yours, Bella. I was so blinded by my own. I convinced myself you'd love again, someone better for you, someone who deserved you better than I did. I know…" he swallowed, "I know I had no right deciding what's best for you. But I hope you can understand my motivations behind all of this."

I opened my mouth to speak but he placed his finger delicately on my lips. He caressed them for a moment before slowly withdrawing it.

"Please, love," he whispered, "I've been burning to get this out since I once again saw your face. Let me speak my piece. I'm begging you."

He waited until I nodded before continuing.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to be with me anymore, Bella. I've destroyed every last trace of trust you'd ever blessed me with- trust and love I never deserved to begin with. I'm not asking you to forgive me or love me again or even live out your existence with me. I could never ask you that. But I do want you to know and accept- I'm imploring you, this- that I love you. I. Love. You." He hesitantly placed a hand on the side of my face. I leaned into it reflexively. My frostiness was melting; I could feel it. "I have always loved you, you silly girl. Always. You changed my world and brought a happiness to me I didn't deserve."

He kissed my hand.

"I love you. Forever."

He moved to walk away again. How dare he? He makes this whole speech about loving me and he was just going to walk away? Again?!

The fury within me reached a crescendo and, with my new vampire instinct, I harshly reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt before he even truly stepped away. I roughly tugged him back closer to me and repressed my smug smile at his bewildered expression.

He stared at me with a million questions swimming in his beautiful eyes.

When the hell did I forgive him? Did I forgive him immediately and did I just decide to hold onto all the foolish anger in a bout of immaturity? How much time have I wasted? How much needless hurt have I inflicted?

My most beautiful angel stood in front of me, broken and hurting because I refused to forgive him. It shouldn't have been so difficult; he did all he could for my benefit. He was just as miserable as I was, if not more. He placed himself in absolute solitude and disrupted his tight knit family just for me. It was all for me. _Because he loved me_.

And I loved him. More than anyone, anything, anywhere. Words couldn't describe and I certainly couldn't come up with an analogy. Even Edward had trouble.

He was still watching me, impatience flickering in his eyes but he was doing his best to control it. I realized then he'd be walking on eggshells around me. They all had. It wasn't the first time I noticed it; it was just the first time I allowed myself to process that thought. I'd been such a fool. I'd even taken a subconscious amount of pleasure in that.

I decided I'd been silent enough. What would I say in response to that? Even now as a vampire, with some more confidence, I still couldn't utter a speech like that. Especially now, with what I heard and what I wanted to say. So I did the next best thing. I kissed him.

But it wasn't a usual kiss for us. It wasn't a human/vampire kiss. It was equal, just like we were now. He started off slowly and cautiously, just like always, but my frenzied pace and desperate panting made him catch up with me. I ferociously prodded my tongue against his lips until finally, with a sigh, he parted them. Our tongues met for the first time and we both sighed and groaned at the painful pleasure. It actually felt like we were kissing for the first time and I supposed that, in a way, we were. Gone were all our boundaries and pretences and notions. All that was left was the love.

He held onto me tightly, roughly, that I knew if I were not a vampire, his hold would certainly turn me to ash. It was almost as though he was frantically trying to hold me as close as possible to him, like I was going to go "poof" and disappear. With a pang, it dawned on me that was exactly what he thought I was going to do.

With a great deal of reluctance and will power, I tore my lips from his. He whined and somehow managed to crush me to his body closer.

"Edward," I whispered huskily. His eyes met mine and I lost my train of thought temporarily. I took a breath and tried again. "Edward… All is forgiven. I think I forgave you long ago. I was just… angry. So angry that I… I couldn't…" He stopped my incoherent words with another passionate kiss, this one even more so than the last.

I pushed him away again and he stepped back with a pained expression. He thought I had come to my senses and was going to try and leave again.

"I'm not leaving," I promised solemnly and smiled when I saw his eyes glitter with excitement and… hope? "I've wasted enough time being away from you. As you put it when I first met you, I'm tired of staying away from you, Edward."

He smiled softly for me and reached for me. I stepped confidently into his arms where I vowed to stay forever.

"I love you, too."


	17. Want

**To make up for taking so long to post up last chapter and because I felt like abandoning my trivial schoolwork (ha!), I decided to sit down and whip up another chapter.**

**I barely edited & looked this over, but I was hell-bent on posting it. Sorry for any mistakes/sucky writing. This chapter isn't _terrible,_ especially because something exciting happens, but I'm concerned that I literally just wrote it and then posted it. **

**Oh, well. Don't forget to leave your thoughts. **

**PS- There is slightly suggestive material in this chapter, though I personally don't find it too raunchy. I decided that as the story goes on and gets a little more serious, I'll write some lemons (separate from the story). Outtakes, if you will. Sound good? Would you be interested in that? Lemme know. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**SPOV**

I watched the scene with disgust. Edward and Bella, once again united. How splendid. How precious. _How revolting_.

Here was the swine that left her susceptible to the Volturi and she was embracing him and kissing him like a blind fool. Did she have no self-preservation?

My lips twitched involuntarily, despite my mood, remembering that she in fact had no survival skills at all. Back when she was human, her boyfriend was a _vampire_, for goodness sake. Clearly, the girl had no idea what was good for her.

I clutched the tool Aro had given me and just watched them, comforting myself with the fact that it would all be over soon. I only had to bide my time a little more.

**BPOV**

We walked back hand in hand, never once taking our eyes off each other's faces. I never again wanted to seep back into the despairing darkness and staring at Edward's face reminded me I _never_ had to again. I knew he felt the same way.

Our pace was slow, savoring each second. Soon enough we reached the house and sensed but did not see Alice sitting on the front steps. She hopped up and danced in front of us until we reluctantly turned to look at her.

"I knew it would happen; it was just a matter of time!" she sang. Her eyes narrowed at me an she attempted to take on a stern expression. "It would have happened sooner had a certain someone not been so frustratingly stubborn!"

Edward chuckled. "Enough, Alice. We're together now."

She beamed at him brilliantly. "Yes," she agreed.

She skipped away, laughing to herself.

Edward smiled at me and led me inside to his bedroom quickly. His hand squeezed mine tightly and when he turned around to look at me, his eyes were scorching with undeniable intent and passion. My unnecessary breath sucked in with surprise but I said nothing.

Was he going to make love to me? Was I ready?

I suppressed a giggle with the realization I'd always be ready for sex with Edward.

He opened his bedroom door but turned away from his room to stare at me for a moment. The sadness and torture in his eyes was unbearable.

"What did I do to deserve you, Bella? I have done… so many horrible things… Why do you love me?"

I smiled. "Why do _you_ love _me_? What did _I_ ever do to deserve _you_?" I sighed and shook my head, grinning now. "We can go back and forth with this for eternity, Edward, but let's just accept the fact that we're both inexplicably and violently in love."

He smiled back at me, his morose expression gone, and gently lifted my hand to kiss it. "That sounds magnificent."

He pulled me into his room, almost roughly, earning a gasp of surprise. He grinned at that and pushed me on the bed.

His smile faded and he regarded me with frank eyes, roaming over my curves and my face. "Beautiful," he murmured under his breath as he placed himself next to me.

If my heart still beat, it would've been pounding now. He laughed as though he could hear it.

"Relax, my love."

Damn. I guess I forgot to control my pesky expression.

He reached over and pulled me to his chest, tenderly cupping my face with his strong hands. He stroked me with his thumbs, all the while shaking his head in awe.

Slowly but determinately, he leant in to kiss my willing lips. Edward and I had shared some interesting kisses recently, but nothing compared to this. His tongue lovingly but forcefully met mine and he panted and moaned into my mouth. It felt like we were already making love.

His hands slid down to my lower back, pressing me even tighter to his body. He shivered when I hesitantly placed my left leg over his hip, increasing our contact even more.

"Bella," he whispered urgently. "_Please_."

Please what?

I then felt the tension between our lower bodies and groaned with pleasure. He was asking me to make love. He wanted to make love. He _needed_ to make love, apparently.

I gladly moved my hips, rubbing them slowly but hard against his. He hissed and kissed me again, even more desperate than before.

And then he pulled a total Edward move. It still surprised me, however.

He pushed me away.

"Please," he whispered again.

"It's okay, Edward," I whispered back, moving my hips again and delighting in his anguished but pleasured sob, "I'll give you everything you want."

He froze. And pushed me away even more so that now I was practically lying on the other side of the bed. The hurt I felt then was indescribable and, if I could, I'd have been hysterically crying. I may have been vampire now, with my resilient flesh and my cold, stone body, but I was still the same insecure and easily-wounded Bella inside.

He watched me but did nothing to comfort me. What happened? I _felt_ the fact that he wanted me very clearly just a moment before.

He closed his eyes and groaned. "You still doubt me. I can see it in your eyes."

"I don't understand you," I clarified softly.

"What?" His eyes popped open.

"I thought… you wanted me," I explained pathetically, looking away from him.

He pulled me closer to him again, though nowhere near as close as we'd been.

"Of _course _I want you. More than you know. It's taking every last ounce of my self-control to not ravish you this second. The need I have for you, the _want_, Bella- it's almost excruciating. Unbearable. And yet I don't want to ever stop feeling this way." His eyes shut. "Oh, Bella. _I want to make love to you. So badly_."

I stopped breathing, glad I no longer needed to. I would surely have suffocated. His words aroused me to the point that I very nearly pounced on him. His next words stopped me, however.

"But I can't."

I sat up, not even bothering to hide my agonized expression. "Why not?" I cried.

He smiled, amused, and I nearly dismembered him and burnt him on the spot. How dare he smile at a time like this? The only thing that made me refrain was the fact that I was uncontrollably in love with him.

When he started laughing, I decided that was but a small little detail.

"_Bella_. I'm not saying I'm never going to make love to you. That would be a sin in and of itself, the way I love and desire you." He poked my nose with his index finger. "Your thought processes are incredibly entertaining sometimes, love. Completely absurd, but entertaining nonetheless."

"I don't get it," I said.

He smiled wider and stood, lifting me up with him. He brought me to the middle of the room and then ran over into his dresser for something.

"This better not be a gift, Edward," I said warily. "It A- won't distract me and B- will piss me off."

He laughed again and came back to me. His eyes held mine and his expression sobered. Eyes smoldering with love, he brought my left hand once more to his lips and kissed the ring finger delicately. His eyes were blazing with such passion that I hardly recognized the significance of it.

"For years I wandered the earth in solitude. Decades. You know all too well I considered myself complete as a single being. And you know all too well how ridiculous that thought was." He looked vulnerable as he continued. "If I were to be completely honest with myself now, I would admit that I knew I was lying every time I said that. Still, I convinced myself that I was whole. It wasn't until I met you, the very purpose I'm sure I was placed on this planet, that I saw how devastatingly alone and fragmented I was all those moonless nights."

He kissed my finger again and knelt before me. I knew what he was doing then. Everything in the world stopped.

"I know you've never been one for theatrics and customs. And I know, too, that we only just once again declared ourselves." His eyes exploded with love and desperation. "But I can't wait any longer, Bella. From the very first instant I saw you, I knew you were mine, even if I didn't know it consciously yet. I _want_ you, in every sense of the word. But more importantly, I want you as my wife, to cement the fact that you truly belong to me as I you." He kissed my finger once more before pulling out a black velvet box that was opened to reveal the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. It dazzled me almost as much as Edward's eyes. Almost.

"Bella Marie Swan, my own, wonderful angel… Be my wife? Be mine? Marry me."

I said the first thing that came to mind, probably because it was the easiest. And probably because it was truly what I felt.

"Yes."

And all the happiness and love and promise in the world existed in that one word.


	18. Promise

**Sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. School has been burying me with work- William Blake & Wordsworth and Pope- oh my!- so I live most days in a zombie-state, barely able to complete my work let alone work on a fanfiction story!**

**But this story has always been on my mind, of course. When I first started writing this chapter (forever ago, if you can believe it) I could hardly get the words out. I deserted it mid-page somewhere, thoroughly disgusted by the stupid new plotline I was writing. I decided that until I could find a better one, I wasn't going to write any more.**

**Cue boredom & procrastination and you have little Miss Rita sitting her butt down to work on the chapter that's been hanging over her like a perpetual hurricane.**

**It feels nice to update but I'm still unsure of where I'm going. This chapter is a bit manic to me, hahaha. You'll see what I mean by the end. Thoughts/opinions/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. OH and another thing- I barely edited the second part of it (Shane's POV). If you all hate it, I'd like to know b/c then I can change it around. Hopefully you won't hate it (fingers crossed).**

**Enjoy. **

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**BPOV**

"Bellaaaa!" Alice wailed. "Please!"

I shook my head. "No, Alice. No ruffles. You promised."

She pouted and stomped away, yanking her bridal magazine along with her.

Edward came up to me and grinned. "That's what you get for letting Alice plan the wedding."

I growled half-heartedly. I had only wanted a simple affair, but when Alice asked me if she could plan the wedding and Edward's eyes lit up at the ideas in her head, how could I refuse? He looked the most incandescent and radiant in that moment than he'd ever looked, and being Edward, that was a big deal.

"What are you thinking, love?" he asked me, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Guess."

He laughed and shook his head. "Come on."

He brought me up to his room that, after two weeks, would also be my room. Gently, he placed me on the bed and climbed on top of me, whispering loving words as he did so.

"Two weeks have never seemed so long to me, Bella," he whispered in my ear. I trembled at his meaning and he chuckled. "Do you honestly believe that I'm not as impatient as you are?"

"You don't seem to be," I grumbled. I looked away.

"On the contrary," he said, pulling my face back toward him, "I bet I'm even more anxious to be one with you."

I gulped. "What makes you say that?"

He smiled crookedly. "You forget how long I've existed, Bella. Now that I've finally found someone, I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm desperately counting down the seconds."

A slow grin spread across my face. "_Really?_"

He nodded sheepishly.

I leant closer to his face and whispered against his lips, "Why wait?"

He sighed and pulled away, rubbing his face. "I know you think we have a soul, Bella. I want to ensure that we keep it intact."

I understood his point and was touched that he cared so much. Just because I understood didn't mean I was complacent. I reached for him again and, though he was wary, he allowed me to get close again. I kissed him shamelessly and deep and once again lifted my leg over his.

"Bella," he growled in a warning against my lips, but this time he didn't pull away.

He sighed into my desperate lips and let a hand wander over my hip, nudging me closer against his leg.

I honestly think we would have continued had it not been for a certain annoying pixie.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Alice bellowed, running into the room and pulling me away. To my pleasure, Edward looked devastated that I was no longer in his arms.

"Alice," he groaned, shaking his head, "you certainly can't tell when you aren't wanted."

She rolled her eyes and then glared at me. "Edward wants a traditional wedding and I think you'll find that you do, too. I saw the wedding and the two of you are going to be overjoyed. I'm sure that staying virgins right now must seem impossible to the both of you, especially after what you've been through, but let me tell you something- it's _going to be worth it_." At this, she grinned evilly.

"Have you been peeking, Alice?" Edward rose from the bed and took on an intimidating posture.

"I can't help what I see," she replied innocently.

"Alice!" I cried out, horrified.

"Oh, relax, virgins. I only saw afterwards."

I sighed with relief but Edward did not relax from his rigid glare. "Out, Alice."

"Only if you two promise to keep your hands-," she looked over at me, "-and legs to yourselves."

"Fine," Edward said through gritted teeth.

She giggled and hopped out, winking at me as she passed.

"I love her but she is probably the most annoying being on the earth." Edward looked at me with amusement but it quickly faded. His face took on an intensity I'd never seen before. Then he looked down at the floor, almost seeming like he was ashamed. "I'm sorry, Bella. I used to pride myself on being a gentleman." He slowly raised his eyes up to mine. "If you only knew what I was planning to do to you just a few minutes ago, you'd be appalled and run from me forever."

My breathing quickened. Why did he have to be so freaking tempting?!

"Why are you apologizing? I _liked_ it. And I started it, if you remember. You're a gentleman- too much of a gentleman in my opinion. I want you so badly… but you and Alice are right. We need to do this as we originally intended." I walked over to him and hugged him. "And if your plans were anything like mine, we're going to have one hell of a wedding night," I whispered in his ear.

He groaned and buried his face in my hair. "When I said you were going to be the death of me so long ago, I meant it."

**SPOV**

I hated to disrupt their moment, but the time had come to make them aware of my presence.

I slipped into a downstairs window, satisfied to see everyone in the living room minus Bella and Edward.

The family stared back at me, speechless and confused. I forgot, temporarily, that Edward could read minds and would know immediately that I was here. It was no matter to me; it actually made things a lot easier. Suddenly he was before me, demanding to know what I wanted. I took a deep breath and blocked the majority of my thoughts.

"That's simple," I said, smiling slightly. "All I want is Bella."

His eyes widened and he looked back at her in confusion. She was standing on the stairs, staring at me disbelievingly as though I were some horrible ghost in one of her nightmares. He was talking to her, asking her who I was, but she couldn't speak. Her brown eyes were fixed on me as I started walking closer. I smirked at Edward who had begun to growl.

"I'm not going to hurt her," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked me, taking a step closer to her.

"Shane. Perhaps you've heard of me."

His eyes flickered with realization and he looked back at Bella, worry written cleary on his face.

"What do you want?" he asked again, never taking his eyes off of her.

"I believe I already answered that question."

His coal-black eyes looked back at me. "What do you _want_ with her?"

I opened the floodgates of my thoughts, allowing him to view my imagination in vivid detail. I showed him how I was going to bring her back to Aro. I imagined me beside her, smiling. I imagined things that surely would have made Bella blush.

"Enough," he growled. "It's not going to happen. Aro gave Bella her freedom."

"Temporarily," I said calmly. "He's changed his mind. She's _his_, after all. He created her."

"Bella," he hissed in a low voice, "is _mine_- no one else's."

I sighed and looked at Bella, whose face resembled one who was just told they had a month to live. "Do you really want to make things difficult, Edward? Because believe me," I continued, meeting his eyes again, "I can make things very… unpleasant."

"You don't scare me," he snarled, making a move to run towards me.

"Stop it, Edward," another vampire said. He looked as though he were the father of the bunch. I think Aro said his name was Carlisle. He looked over at me with a somber expression. "Why must you take her? What does Aro want with her?"

"Aro didn't give me any particular reason," I said.

"I'm afraid that I'm going to have to go with you," Carlisle told me, looking at Edward pointedly. I could tell he was saying something with his thoughts.

"And _I'm_ afraid that's impossible."

"Why is that?" another burly male vampire asked.

I sighed again, heavier this time. "Enough of this. Either she comes with me now or you'll suffer the consequences."

"We're not scared of some puny looking kid who is now Aro's bitch," the beefy vampire said, flexing his muscles for my benefit.

"You shouldn't do that," came a whisper from across the room.

Everyone turned to see Bella, slouched over with fear.

"Don't insult him," Bella added. "You'll only make things worse."

"I knew you were sensible, Isabella," I told her. "I'm proud of you. Now be a good girl and come with me."

"And if I don't?" she asked, jutting out her chin. She tried to sound courageous but her voice shook a bit; she was terrified of what I could do.

"I will tear apart each of your friends in this room as you watch."

She sucked in her breath at my words and nearly crumpled to the floor. A small, fairy-like vampire caught her and glared at me maliciously.

"Just try," the tough vampire said to me again.

"Stop!" Bella cried.

"Bella, he can't do anything to us. This… scrawny piece of crap is going to single-handedly dismember seven_ vampires_?! I don't think so."

"I never said I'd do it alone," I amended, grinning now. "Shall I call in my friends?"

I pulled my cell from my jeans pocket and called the number on speed dial so quickly that the vampires had no chance of stopping me.

"No!" Bella screamed, fighting against the other girl's arms. "I'll go with you! I promise! I won't struggle!"

I shut my cell slowly. "Do you give me your word?"

"Bella!" Edward cried. "Don't do this."

"Bella, we can fight them," the big vampire said.

"No," Bella disagreed softly. "You can't."

She told the girl to let her go and walked slowly over to me. She looked at me sadly and then motioned for me to lead the way.

"I won't let you fight for me," she told them. "And please don't follow me. Just let it go. I knew I was always going to be trouble, vampire or not. I love you all and I promise I'll get myself out of this."

She walked over to Edward who appeared to be having some sort of mental breakdown. He stood frozen on the other side of the room. His eyes scanned around, not focusing on anything particular. He looked like someone who was about to die.

"Edward… I'll love you for eternity. Please don't do anything crazy. We'll find a way." She lifted her hand to his face and stroked him gently before sucking in a deep breath of air and stepping back.

"I'm not saying goodbye," she told them, "because I'm coming back. Even if it's not for another hundred years- I promise I'm coming back. Don't let Edward do anything rash, guys. Promise me."

She looked back at me, hatred blazing in her eyes. "I'm ready."

I looked at the people she loved so much and nearly laughed. I could tell they were all preparing themselves for battle, waiting for me to turn my back so that they could pounce on Bella and whisk her away to safety while the remaining ones would fend off any of the guards I promised were waiting.

"You're so transparent," I laughed. "Do you honestly think that I'm going to just let myself be tackled by all of you? Do you really think that even if you were able to bring me down, that there aren't guards of the Volturi waiting in the shadows to finish the job? Know this- if you try to do anything to me or if you try to steal back Bella, you'll only be hurting her. They'll neglect you to torture her, I'm sure of it. So think very carefully about your next step…"

They said nothing; their facial expressions didn't even change. But I knew I had them. Despite their natures that encouraged them to just attack, they held their ground. The love they had for this frail human eclipsed any form of primitive urge they had to attack and slaughter me. I suppose Edward himself was evidence enough that mountains could be moved for a girl like this. It almost made me sad to think of her locked away beneath the layer of cold stones that would soon house her in Italy. But the tinge of sadness didn't last long; I wasn't built to be sad. And I couldn't possibly be sad with the thought of her beside me, prey to my every whim. Now that was a satisfying thought.

I couldn't deny my attraction for her any more. I knew that I was a selfish, evil being but it didn't matter. I didn't bear the self-loathing her dear Edward had. I accepted my wickedness; I even embraced it. I wasn't going to torture her or hurt her for any sick source of pleasure. I was merely going to keep her from all she loved, from the sun, from her love to be my toy, my warmth, my pleasure. Forever.


	19. Never

**I'm so happy to get another chapter out. School has been ridiculous! I wrote this chapter tonight, hours ago, but for whatever reason the site wouldn't let me post it. I think there's something very wrong with my laptop in general... Great.**

**Anyway, I've been a bit stuck on this story. I'm still stalling in this chapter a bit, lol, but hopefully you all will like.**

**Let me know what you think. **

* * *

**SPOV**

I led her to the car, watching as her eyes betrayed the fear she felt. One of the guards stood, waiting for us, with the backseat door open.

"Thank you," I muttered to him as I pushed Bella down onto the leather seat.

I climbed in next to her and shut my eyes as the car began to move. It had been a long day, and while the Cullens were most certainly not frightening to me in any way, the task had taken a lot out of me.

"Do you sleep?"

My eyes shot open and I saw Bella watching me curiously.

"I suppose you'll have to wait and find out," I told her, grinning.

She sighed and looked out the window.

"So the two of you reconciled! How sweet."

She shook her head but did not turn to look back at me.

"You can think of this as me doing you a favor. I'm saving you from the trauma of Edward leaving you all over again and-"

Bella spun around, her face contorted in murderous rage. I'd never seen her like this before. I liked it.

"Don't you _dare_ say his name ever _again_. You don't have the right, the privilege, the… _anything_, to say his name."

"Testy, testy," I clicked my tongue and feigned disapproval. "Aro is going to have to whip you into shape."

Stiffening, she turned to me fully. "What does he want with me?" she asked me carefully.

"Bella," I said in a patronizing tone, patting her shoulder in a mock comforting gesture, "you really have no idea, do you? You have no idea of the power you possess? Just wait and see my Bella, just wait and see. Aro will show you and soon… soon you'll be the pearl of the Volturi. The pearl of the world. And I… will be by your side. My Bella..."

She shivered visably. "Don't call me _yours_."

"You are mine," I said simply.

"No," she growled, her eyes flashing, "I'm not."

I laughed, the sound reverberating in the darkness of the car. "Bella," I whispered, leaning close to her ear and grinning at her flinch, "I think you're mistaken. You're mine. You will always be mine now."

**EPOV**

"What does he want with her?" I yelled at Carlisle.

"Edward, calm down," Esme whispered, her face paler than I'd ever seen it.

"It's all right, Esme," Carlisle said in a soothing tone, never taking his eyes from mine.

_I don't know what he wants with her, Edward. I'm just as much in the dark about this as you are. But I think I have an idea… Maybe Aro has been investigating her. Maybe she has some talent we've been oblivious to. _

"And Shane? What does he want with her?" I demanded, my stomach dropping at all the possibilities. I saw the images in my head of all his fantasies but I hoped it was all just for my benefit- to upset me.

Jasper cleared his throat. "The emotions coming off of him were very, very deep. Lust, possession, grandeur. He thinks he's smarter and more powerful than all of us put together and… he may very well be right."

Emmett snorted. "Impossible."

"You may have a point," Carlisle said. "I don't know if… beings… like him have a name or not, or what they're capable of, but I know a great deal of those in Italy fear them. If they fear 'people' like Shane, we are slightly in over our heads."

"Do you hear them any more?" Alice asked me.

I just shook my head. My heart felt dead. Once again I left Bella defenseless, in the arms of evil. Didn't I promise to protect her always?

"Are they going to turn her into one of them? Into the worst kind of monster?" I asked Carlisle quietly.

"Bella would never allow that," Rosalie said fiercely. We all looked at her in surprise. She merely shrugged and looked to Carlisle.

Carlisle watched me sadly for a few moments before slowly nodding. "It's possible. They're capable of anything they set their minds to."

"We have to go there, then!" Emmett shouted, slamming his fist on the kitchen table.

"It's not that easy," Carlisle murmured, looking down to the floor. "They'll be expecting us. And… if I know them as well as I think I do… they'll be watching us from now on. Bella is very important to Aro, even if the reason still remains unclear, even to Aro himself. I could tell he was extremely reluctant to let go of her. I should have realized… I'm sorry, Edward."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault."

_No, Carlisle_. It's not your fault. It's all mine.

Alice gasped and the familiar blurriness set in, covering her eyes. I watched her vision with her.

For the first time in my many years as a vampire, I actually felt sick to my stomach.

_Bella stood in front of many vampires, her back to our perspective. She was laughing bitterly, harshly… coldly. The vampires looked on, their red eyes wide with fear and shock. Her pale, small hand clutched someone's hair. Our view lowered and the hair was revealed to belong to a decapitated head._

"_I'm not '_weak_ Bella' anymore," she giggled. "Are you surprised?"_

_Our family stormed in through the giant wooden doors, disbelief and sadness clear on our faces. _

The vision faded out. Alice's eyes met mine and she shuddered.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked firmly, stepping in front of Alice.

"Bella… she…" Alice seemed to get strangled by the words themselves.

"She's going to rip a human's head off," I said flatly, finishing the sentence no one wanted to hear, least of all myself. "She claims in the vision she's not the same as she once was."

I stepped back from my family and slumped down on the couch. My head fell in my hands and I sobbed loudly, ignoring my family's frantic thoughts. They watched me from the kitchen as I fell apart, once again.

_It doesn't matter, Edward_, Alice told me. _Deep down, she'll always be Bella. We all know that. There must be some misunderstanding! It can't be. We'll figure this out. We'll get to her in time, I promise. I won't let this happen!_

I picked my head up from my hands and stared at the wall. A laugh choked out of me that still sounded like a sob.

"It's already happened, Alice. It's already happened."

**BPOV**

After what seemed like an eternity, our plane landed in Italy. Shane smiled at me and led to me yet another shiny black car, equipped with beefy looking vampires that were sent to guard me.

Why me? Why did I have to have delicious smelling blood as a human? Why did Aro, of all people, have to change me? Why did he want me back? Why did I have to have, according to Shane, an important power?

A fluttering sensation on my cheek brought me back to what was before me. I looked on in horror as Shane continued to stroke my face, a boyish grin spreading his lips.

"Get your hand off of me," I hissed through my teeth.

Before I could defend myself, Shane had me flipped on my back on the backseat. He climbed on top of me and pressed me forcefully against the leather, which groaned around our heavy weight. It didn't hurt, of course, but the threat was still there.

"You don't seem to quite understand the situation yet, my sweet, but I'm hoping that you will. Very soon." I shivered beneath him. I could have vomited at the wicked smile that formed on his face. He liked my reaction. Apparently he liked it _very_ much. "When we arrive at the castle," he whispered in my ear, "the very first thing I'm going to do to you- after we greet Aro, of course- is make you mine." I gasped. He pulled his head away slightly, his eyes focused on my lips. "Do you understand what that means, Bella?" he asked huskily.

"Get off of me," I said, meaning to sound ferocious. I ended up sounding breathless and pathetic.

"Never," he whispered against my chest. "_Never_," he repeated against my chin. "Never," he whispered just inches away from my lips.

And then he lowered his head and whispered against my lips. "Never."


	20. Time Is Running Out

First off, let me gloat and tell you guys I found out I now live in the 7th cloudiest city in the US! What bliss! Maybe there's an Edward somewhere here for me. I think my next story might have to take place here (Binghamton)!

You will never know what I've gone through, guys. My laptop is now an atrocity. Thankfully, here I am with another chapter. Sorry it took me so incredibly long... I deserve to be in Shane's clutches for a while. Now prepare yourselves for a long-winded rant.

I had this entire chapter written out just as I wanted it last night. It was beautiful (sniffle). I worked on it 'til 7AM... and stupid Word completely erased it. I don't even want to talk about it. The same thing had happened earlier with this whole essay I had to write for class. The fury and rage inside me was unimaginable, friends. A little Edwardlike if I may say so.

Anyway, I managed to remember some of the things I lost, though at this point I was half asleep and agitated. Sorry for any errors.

(By the way, has anyone been watching True Blood?)

**BPOV**

How much time has passed? I couldn't even guess. Every second dragged on since I'd been torn from my family.

I looked over at Shane who was walking beside me as we made our way through the dark corridors I'd hoped I'd never have to walk through again. The guard behind us, some oaf I'd never seen before, grunted before pushing me into a room on the left. Shane followed me in and closed the door behind him, locking it while staring at me intensely.

I snorted. "Do you really think a locked door would keep me from running away?"

His eyes glinted with some indescribable emotion. "No, Bella. I imagine my other threats will do the trick."

I shut up after that. Before I could blink he was on me, touching me everywhere and breathing into my ear. "You belong to me now."

"I belong to Edward," I shouted, pushing against him. He laughed at me.

"Not anymore."

"I will always belong to him," I said through clenched teeth.

He let his hands roam over me as he smiled. "Saying it doesn't make it true. You're mine now. I'm going to make you forget all about him."

"Impossible," I said instantly. He only smirked. I had tried to sound brave but even if I accomplished it, I didn't feel brave. The thought automatically came to me that he might very well have the skill to erase my memory. It wouldn't surprise me; I knew nothing of his powers.

He kissed me ferociously, pressing me into the wall. He moved away only to suck on my neck. I was repulsed.

"Get off of me!" I screamed.

"No," he said into dip of my throat.

He licked up until he met my lips. "I'll make you forget," he murmured against them.

He kissed me, even harder. And then the world went black.

**EPOV**

We had been driving for forever it seemed. Carlisle was driving with Esme beside him. Jasper and Alice were sitting next to me, tense with anxiety. Emmett and Rose were speeding along beside us. Everyone was watching me, waiting for me to have a breakdown. I guess they figured it was only a matter of time, as did I.

Alice took in a sharp burst of air before seeing an image I unfortunately had to watch too.

_Bella was against a wall with that animal against her. She was struggling to be free of him but he was too strong. His filthy hands were all over her, touching her in places I hadn't even yet. He was kissing her everywhere and telling her that she was his, that she would forget about me._

"_Impossible," she said confidently. I could see the hate in her eyes, but I could also see fear as well._

_She again demanded he get off of her but he just ignored her._

_And then he said that he'd make her forget about me. Then he kissed her._

"NO!" Alice screamed, coming out of the vision. "We have to get there immediately, Carlisle."

"What happened?" Jasper asked franticly, rubbing her shaking arms.

Neither of us could respond.

Carlisle eyed me in the rearview mirror. "Edward?"

I opened my mouth to answer but the words wouldn't form.

"Just get us there, Carlisle," Alice wailed. "Hurry!"

I prayed to the powers that be that we would arrive in time. We had to. Even if we didn't, I knew I'd always love Bella. Even if that bastard managed to turn her into some dark, I'd fight every second of eternity to bring her back. I loved her.

**SPOV**

I stepped back, eager to see my handiwork. Bella's eyes slowly fluttered open. They were clearly glazed over and I nearly jumped with joy. It had worked! She would be disoriented for a while. Small things would come back to her- her name, her habits, etc.- but she'd forget everyone that had been in her life before. All she would know now was me and then I'd fill in the rest.

Her eyes scanned my face. "Who are you?" she asked.

I grinned. "Shane. I'm your lover."

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "You are?"

I nodded. Then I kissed her to seal the deal, passionately and exquisitely. Her taste was unbelievable; I adored her. And then that annoying piece of trash Alec had to ruin the moment.

He cleared his throat and I reluctantly pulled away from her.

"What?" I asked testily.

"Aro has returned," he said, smirking at me. "I see you've broken her."

"Never mind that," I said hastily. I dragged her out behind me, tenderly stroking her arm as we ran.

Finally we entered Aro's dark chambers, filled with at least one hundred vampires. I spotted Aro instantly, as did he, and he flitted over with excitement.

"Bella, my dear!" he exclaimed. "It's been too long, my child."

She stared back at him blankly. He looked at me and put two and two together. "I'm glad to see everything worked out smoothly."

I nodded.

"Come," he said, snapping his fingers. "I have many people I want the two of you to meet."

For the next hour, he dragged us to this vampire and to that. They all expressed mild interest in Bella, except for one.

"Vladimir, this is Bella!" Aro looked at him expectantly.

The vampire merely nodded, his eyes everywhere but on her.

Aro cleared his throat. "She is very, very important to me."

Again, the vampire nodded.

"Well," Aro said, his voice sounding slightly deflated, "I suppose we should move along. Nice to see you as always."

As we walked away, I heard Aro mutter, "I hate Russian vampires."

The vampire heard him, of course, but Aro didn't seem to care.

We met a few more people before Aro thankfully stopped.

"Bella, love," he started, "you must be dying with thirst."

She stared at him. "Thirst?"

"Yes. You must be thirsty. It's time for a feeding."

"But I don't feel thirsty," she mumbled, perplexed.

Aro laughed. "Oh, I assure you that you are! I can tell by the blackness of your eyes."

Bella looked slightly horrified at that.

"A snack will be coming in just a moment."

Just then, a group of what I assumed to be delicious-looking humans stumbled in, all looking utterly terrified. They eyed Aro fearfully as he made his way over. He looked them over before laughing and grabbing a young looking teenaged boy.

"You'll do," he giggled as he dragged him along. He thrust him towards Bella who caught him easily. "Your meal, darling. Drink up."

The boy started screaming, thrashing in her firm arms. She looked up at Aro and then back at the boy.

And then she did the most startling thing. She threw him back.

"No thanks."

Aro looked stunned, as did I. Something as simple as this should have come back to her. Then again, her mind was unreal. Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised.

"I assure you that you'll love it, Bella," he insisted, once again tossing the human in her direction.

"I assure you that I won't," she answered back, sounding disturbingly like her old self.

She laughed then. "You're idiots. You most of all, Shane. You forgot one tiny detail in your brilliant plot. Your stupid voodoo stuff doesn't work on my mind. I never lost my memory, and even if you had been somewhat successful, I never would have forgotten Edward. He's a part of me. He is the very _best _part of me. You can't ever take that away."

"I assure you that I can," Aro said icily. I'd never seen him unsmiling before. "You are my property, child, and you will do as I say. You will never ever leave this place. And you will never see your family again. I will hunt each and every last one of them down- human and vampire- whether you comply or not. I've had enough."

She stared at him for a moment before erupting into laughter again. And then the craziest thing happened.

Aro was inexplicably flipped onto his back.

**BPOV**

I froze for a moment, staring on in shock like everyone else. One of most, if not the most, powerful creatures had just been flipped onto his back, the most vulnerable position. Oh and by me, Bella Swan. The craziest part was that I hadn't even touched him.

Before I could move, I laughed internally at myself. So there's my gift.

Aro started struggling and tried to sit up. I immediately snapped back into focus and thought _don't move._ With a crushing sound, Aro's body snapped back to the floor, cracking it due to the pressure.

I walked over to him slowly, reveling in every second. The tables had turned and I was taking no prisoners.

I pressed my boot down on his throat. "You disgust me. You threatened my loved ones. You threatened me. And then you dared to try and fuck with my love in general. Too bad you failed, Aro. You don't own me. I don't belong to you. I belong to Edward and he's the only person I ever want."

"No, Aro," I said, pushing my boot down harder. "That's where you're wrong."

"You're amazing, Bella," he choked out. "I've never met a vampire like you. You're extraordinary. You were even astounding as a human. I'm glad Edward changed you, though I'm not thrilled with how things worked out…"

He chuckled to himself.

"Any last words?" I asked him, feeling like the heroine in some crazy action flick. Why do I always have the most immature thoughts at the most inappropriate times?

"Yes," he coughed. "Ciao."

I smiled in spite of myself and then stomped down, effectively severing his head from his body. The onlookers gasped and stepped back from me. I realized what I must've looked like then- some enraged animal, a monster. I didn't care.

I picked up his head and took a step towards them.

"I'm no longer weak Bella," I laughed. "Are you surprised?"

They all stepped even further away.

"If any of you even dare try to track me and my family, I will hunt you down and tear you to shreds. It will be a lot longer and lot more painful than what I did to Aro, I promise you that. Stay away from me and I'll stay away from you."

No one said anything. I flung the head into their crowd and turned towards Shane. He was staring me, watching me with the expression that always made me uncomfortable.

"I suppose you're going to kill me, too," he said flatly.

"That was the general idea."

He smirked. "You might as well. I'll never stop chasing you. I refuse to let you go. So you better take advantage and kill me now."

"Can you even _be_ killed?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow. Something told me that tearing him up into little pieces and setting him on fire wouldn't do the trick.

I picked up Aro's head and the rest of his parts, dismembering him in a matter of seconds. I tried my best to keep my mind off of it. Then I turned back to Shane.

"So what do I do with you?"

He laughed. "All you have to do is stab or shoot me and I'll be dead."

My eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Right. Like you're going to tell me how to kill you."

An expression of sadness flickered over his face before he composed himself once more. "There's no life for me anymore. I have nothing left."

I bit my lip. I knew he was a monster who intended on harming everyone that I loved, but I couldn't help pitying him.

"Break my neck, Bella," he asked me, kneeling before me.

I took a deep breath and softly placed my hands on his head.

"Last words?" I asked again, though my voice cracked this time.

He smirked for the final time. "Ciao."

I closed my eyes and snapped my hands, effectively breaking his neck. I nearly took his head off in the process.

The stress of everything coupled with the trauma I'd been pushing down finally caught up with me. I buckled under from the strain and cried out, falling to my knees.

Suddenly arms were around me. I yelped and thrashed in whoever's arms they were.

"Shhh, Bella," a soothing velvet voice whispered in my ear. "It's all okay now. I love you."

I stilled and sighed in relief. "Edward," I whispered.

"It's okay," he repeated. He lifted me into his arms and kissed me like he never had before. Passion, pain, love, fear, relief, lust, gratefulness was all packed into it. My legs began to wobble.

I pulled away, as painful as it was. "But what I did Edward… aren't you horrified?"

"Bella," he said in a disapproving voice. "Never. You did what you had to do. They never would have stopped."

"But I liked it Edward," I mumbled, looking down. "The revenge was-"

He lifted my chin up. "Had our positions been reversed, Bella, I would have done a lot worse. Alice kept catching flickers of images that we read all wrong… Oh, Bella. We thought horrible things. What ended up happening was a relief, a blessing. You saved us all. You're still Bella. You're still perfect."

I sobbed. "I love you so much." The words seemed so small in comparison to what I was feeling.

"Love," Edward whispered against my lips, "you have no idea what I'm feeling right now. All I know is I need you. I need to kiss you right now."

His beautiful lips met mine again and we shared the most intense kiss of my life.

* * *

A/N- Okay, I know some parts were slightly cheesy and that her power was not that creative and is slightly overdone but honestly nothing else came to mind. PS- do you realize how many times people say "you're mine" in this story. Jeez.

I promise to update fairly soon, seeing as I'm getting a new laptop.


	21. The Truth About Forever

I've decided to end this story here. It just feels right.

Thank you all for your reviews and for your support.

* * *

"I can't believe we're actually talking about ruffles again," I whined.

Alice pouted, thrusting yet another bride's magazine at me. "They're all the rage this season!"

"Somehow I doubt that," Emmett chortled from the living room.

"You know nothing about fashion, Emmett Cullen!" Alice growled.

She was glaring at him from the dining room and I could sense her getting sidetracked by the unnecessary argument over fashion. It was even more disturbing that she was considering taking it up with Emmett, of all people.

"Alice… I just want things to be simple. After everything we've all gone through, I just want to say the vows and have Edward as mine. I don't need the ruffles or the doves or the sparkles you suggested, though I think they're all very lovely. Maybe if and when Edward and I decide to renew our vows one day, we can consider them… But for now I'd like to stick to what's me and that just so happens to be simple."

I could smell and sense Edward coming downstairs and smiled euphorically as he walked into the kitchen. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions- love, admiration, respect, want, adoration… The list could go on. I could feel the love emanating off of him and I hoped he could feel the same from me.

"Alice," he said, never taking his eyes from mine, "I thought we've gone over this already. You agreed to let Bella have the final say in all manners as long as you got to carry out the final decisions."

"I just wanted to help!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands in frustration. "I just wanted it all to be perfect."

My dead heart broke at her sentiment. She truly was the best friend and sister in the world.

"I know, Alice. Thank you so much for doing all you've done and for all you still want to give. But it's just not possible… not necessary now. I think you know that."

She stared at me for a moment before finally nodding slowly. "I know. I'll set up everything as you've asked me."

"Are you going to tell me any of your plans?" Edward cooed seductively. I fought my hardest not to meet his impassioned gaze.

Alice and I had decided to keep him in the dark about most of the preparations for the wedding. Not only was it major payback from me for all the teasing and surprises I'd had to endure in the past, but it was also a way for us to show him how much we loved him. We wanted to the day to be special. _I _wanted the day to be special.

But of course the punk was making things difficult. He wasn't used to being ignorant of the goings on and he didn't like it one bit. I knew of his ability to dazzle me into submission, even now, and had taken care the past few days to keep my contact with him at a minimum. It all was slowly killing me. I wondered temporarily if all the secretiveness was worth it. I considered telling him right then and there. He'd still be thrilled, and so what if he had the information a week before the event? It didn't really matter…

"Bella. Marie. Swan. You stop that line of thinking _right now_. We have put too much effort into all of this!"

I looked up and nodded sheepishly. I caught Edward's triumphant and smug smirk and nearly groaned. He was aware now at how difficult all of this was on me and I just knew he was going to try to use it to his advantage. I was permanently tense now, waiting for him to take his opportunity. I didn't have to wait long at all.

"Alice, darling sister of mine-" she snorted at that line, "-I was wondering if it were possible if I could sneak my beautiful fiancée out for a while. I think it's only fair, especially considering the distance she's been so intent on keeping lately." His eyes narrowed at me for the last part.

Her eyes glazed over and she was temporarily lost in a vision. She came to and shook her head before winking at Edward and grinning at me.

"Sure, that'll be fine."

Oh, no. This can't be good.

Alice Cullen never _ever_ gave me up to Edward, especially when there was a wedding to be planned. This could _not_ be good.

"Have fun, you two," she chuckled, standing and ignoring my pleading look. I'd never wanted to stay and talk about fashion and decorating more than in that instant. "And don't worry, Bella," she said before slipping out of the room, "you won't let anything slip."

"Shall we?" Edward smirked, gesturing out the back door. I swallowed and stood slowly, following him out in the overcast day.

We were silent during the drive. After what seemed like an eternity, Edward pulled up to a patch of trees and grinned at me.

"I found a place I think you'll enjoy."

He got out of the car and opened my door for me before leading me into the trees.

We didn't have to walk far before we encountered the breathtaking sight.

It was a slight clearing, almost like our meadow back in Forks. And yet it was somehow more beautiful. The flowers were more alive looking and tall. The sunlight appeared to be soaked up into their leaves and radiated off, making the colors of their petals almost glow.

I walked around silently before stopping in the middle to look around for Edward, much like that first day we'd spent together. I found him almost instantly, lingering in the shadows watching me intently.

"I love you," he said softly.

"Come to me," I begged. "Please."

"I'm afraid to wake up," he whispered. His voice sounded raw… vulnerable. "I'm afraid to disrupt the indescribable picture of perfection before me. I'm afraid to reach out and touch you to only have you disappear before my eyes."

My unnecessary breath caught at his words. It was still amazing to me that this being of perfection could love me like this.

"Vampires don't sleep, my love," I reminded him with a soft smile. "You're wide awake and you're mine, as I'm yours. Don't be afraid to touch me… please don't be afraid. I _need_ you to touch me."

He inhaled unevenly and took a few wide steps until I was in his arms. He buried his face into my hair and started to shake, almost as though he were crying. I realized with a start that he was crying; he just couldn't make the tears.

"Shhh," I whispered into his ear. I was completely confused. "What's wrong, Edward? You're worrying me."

He pulled his head back to meet my eyes and I gasped at the words caught in his eyes. He didn't need to speak. He wasn't sad and he wasn't happy; he was _joyful_. He was beyond even that.

"Nothing is wrong," he finally said. "I'm where I belong, for once. I've never felt more complete than when I'm in your arms. It finally hit me today that this is really happening… that in a week we'll truly belong to one another in more ways than one. We're getting married and it's for forever. I don't know if I can handle this happiness, Bella, but I'm more than willing to be overwhelmed; I'm _elated _to be overwhelmed."

Now I was shaking with silent sobs.

"Don't you start!" Edward laughed gently. "It's bad enough that _I'm_ such a sap."

"I wouldn't have you any other way," I sniffled.

He stared at me silently for a moment. "This is really happening, isn't it, Bella?"

"Yes."

"You're mine."

"Yes."

"And I'm yours."

"Yes."

He inhaled again, breathing in my scent deeply.

"There's nothing left for us to fight against anymore, is there?"

I shook my head. "We're free."

"I love you," he stated fiercely.

"I love you," I said back, just as firm.

And then he held me tighter, kissing me all over my face, whispering incoherent things against my flesh, and promising me with his lips eternal happiness.

This was real. This was beauty. This was truth.

This was finally me and Edward, the way we were always meant to be.

And this was forever.


End file.
